


Golden Boy

by BulletEmbrace, Ghostwriter92



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: Angst, Break down, Dark Past, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Psychological Torture, Rape, Rent Boy, Slow Burn, Swearing, Torture, this hurts me to write but at the same time I love it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-20
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2018-11-01 08:01:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 32
Words: 56,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10917681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BulletEmbrace/pseuds/BulletEmbrace, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ghostwriter92/pseuds/Ghostwriter92
Summary: A person from Robert's past comes back to haunt him. He tries desperately to keep himself together and his family in the dark. But he's coming apart at the seams and its only a matter of time till the true comes out.*this story is a slow burn but I promise Aaron will find out and the reveal will be big and so will the fallout cause I've had the reveal planned since chapter one*





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! A small warning there will mention of rape. And no the whole Rebecca/baby SL is not happening here. Not in my story. I want to see Robert at his breaking point as well as learn about his past so here is what I think!  
> Please see notes at end...ENJOY!

Robert didn't want to go to another meeting, it was his third one that day! He wanted to be angry at Nicola for going a bit crazy with all these meetings however he really couldn't she had been doing all for him with he was busy with Liv and getting Aaron's appeal. So it was only right that now Aaron was home, |Robert start pulling his weight again.  
Thankfully the meeting was in a hotel which meant there was a bar so Robert could have a quick drink before the meeting. Enjoying his scotch Robert was in his own world thinking about he couldn't wait to get home and see Aaron and plan what to do for Liv and Chas' homecoming party.

"Why Golden Boy is that you?"

That question alone sent chills up Robert's spine it was a voice he had hoped he would never hear again. A voice from his past he never wanted to think about again. Robert turned to face the voice, it was him. The man he never wanted to see again. He looked a bit older but still the same silver devil that haunted Robert's dreams for years. It was "John."  
The name Robert had given all his male clients and "Jane" for his female ones but honestly, the name strangely suited him.

His mouth turned to a sickening smile.

"It is you Golden Boy! You're a bit older but still as good looking as ever."

Was he really trying to flirt with him? Robert wanted to be sick.

"How about you get a sit and I'll get you another drink and join you?"

Robert tried to protest but John's face darkened. "Sit." It was almost a growled and he just did what he said not that he really wanted to but he felt the panic he use to feel when he was younger.  
He looked at his watch wishing he hadn't come to the hotel early for the meeting as it was still 30 minutes wait. Robert was pulled from his thoughts when John reappeared with two drinks, placing one in front or Robert while he held on to the other. A sick smile still on his face looking at Robert in disbelief.

"Well, Golden boy I never thought I'd see you again."

" _You and me both._ " Robert thought to himself as he tried to down him drink.  
"So why are you here? Not still in the game are you?" John asked with one of his eyebrow raised as if he was trying to be flirty again. Robert nearly choked on his drink at the question.

"It's nothing to be ashamed about Golden Boy you still got your looks why not use them to make some quick cash."

Robert coughed as the drink burned his throat causing his voice to sounded rough as he answered. "No, I don't do that anymore."

"Aww, now that's sad, no chance of quick walk down memory lane then?" John asked with his hand now rubbing Robert's leg.

"I said I don't do that anymore so No."

Robert answered back pushing John's hand away with some force proving to John he wasn't the scared rent boy he used to know. But soon Robert felt himself starting to go numb.

"Ah I knew you would say something like that, so I thought I would give you something that would change your mind."

Robert looked down at his now empty drink, at the bottom of the glass was a weird white substance. Fear began to spread rapidly through Robert's body as his view started to go blurry and his mind numbed.

John leaned in close to Robert not caring about the panic look on the young man face.

"Don't worry Golden Boy I'll take care of you, just like I always did."

And just before darkness consumed Robert's mind completely John whispered one last thing.

"Oh, Golden Boy we are going to have fun."

Beeping was that next thing Robert heard as he started to wake up. At first, he thought it was his alarm and that everything with John was just a bad dream however as his view began to clear he noticed he was in a hospital room. He looked around to see that he was all hooked up but thankfully alone till a doctor appeared through the door.

"Ah, good Mr. Sugden you're finally awake. I'm Dr. Henderson."

The doctor said almost relieved that Robert was awake but then it dawns on Robert why he is so relieved when he see the police through the window.

"I'm afraid that I have to tell you, Mr. Sugden, you had been-."

"Raped" Robert answered cutting the doctor off with no emotion in his voice.

"Yes and drugged with a drug called Scopolamine, also known as Devil's breath which has been said can remove a person’s free will. Now I don't know how much of that is really true. However, from your injuries and the mental state you were in when you arrived yesterday. Sadly it appears that may be the case here."

Robert felt like he was in a nightmare. A nightmare that he couldn't wake up from. He felt tears starting to run down his face. Then Aaron flashed across his mind.

" _Oh God Aaron can't know about this, not after everything he been through it would be too much._ " Robert thought to himself.

"Has my family been told I'm here?"

"Ah no, you beg us not to inform your family however we can call them if you wish."

Robert like out a sigh of relief. "No, I don't want them called."

"Alright Mr. Sugden, though because of the state of you injuries the police want to talk to you. Should I let them in?"

Robert just nodded not sure of how much he would really be able to tell them he didn't even know John's real name.

"Ok, Mr. Sugden once you're done with the police we can see about releasing you."

As the doctor left the police entered Robert's room.

"No its DS Wise."

Robert felt ashamed as he had to admit that the man who raped him was a former client from his rent boy days so he didn't really know his real name which caused DS Wise and his partners eyebrows to raise in shock at this surprising fact from Robert's past.  
And they informed him that a barman had seen the man put something in his drink but was unable to see what happened next and that Robert was then found some time later by a maid laying on his stomach naked tied to a bed with £500 placed next to him.

The fact about the money caused Robert to feel sick as that was his old rate. John had actually paid him after he raped him.  
“Also,” DS Wise stated hesitantly as if he was unsure to continue.

“What? also what?” Robert asked at this point he felt there wasn't anything else that could be worst than getting raped and paid for it.

“There was a note left as well.”

Robert felt his heart freeze. “What did it say?”

“It's really not important for you to hear-”

“Jason! What did it say?”

DS Wise wished he didn't know, wished that he hadn't read the letter himself so he wouldn't have to tell Robert. But he had.

“Thanks for the trip down memory lane Golden Boy, will have to do it again soon. XX”

Robert couldn't stop himself from being sick this time, he turned and empty the contents of his stomach onto the hospital floor.  
“That sick bastard!” The line repeat in Robert's mind till he was bought back by a question DS Wise’s partner asked.

“Why did he call you Golden Boy.”

“Because of my blond hair and the fact I did what I was told. I learned the hard way what would happen if I didn't.”

Robert could see that they would him to explain more but he couldn't he feel himself shutting off trying to cope with everything. DS Wise could see it in Robert’s eyes he had been in the Force a long time he knew the look it was a dangerous one and it hurt him to see it on Robert’s face not after everything he had been through with Aaron he didn't need this too.

“It appears that the room you were found in was under your name.”

“Yes, I was there for a meeting and didn't know how long it was going to be so I booked a room.”  
Robert was so cold in his answer it was unnerving.

“Well the room is now a crime scene, however I was able to get your bag and phone sadly the clothes you were wearing before are now in evidence but every else should be there.”

DS Wise handed Robert his phone hopping maybe seeing it would cause some emotion to show, it didn't.

“Look Robert if you remember anything else please don't hesitate to call me.” Robert just nodded not sure which else to do, he felt so numb he just want to go home and forget this even happened.  
When Dr. Henderson appeared DS Wise and his partner said their goodbye then the two men alone. Dr Henderson noticed the vomit on the floor but he had been standing outside the door for the last 15 minutes and after hearing what the monster who did this to Mr Sugden had left for him. The vomit wasn't a surprise.

“So Mr Sugden that's your paper all done so you are able to go home today.”

Dr Henderson could see that Robert wasn't really there physically yes, but mentally he was in another world. His eyes soon fell onto the phone in Robert’s hand.

“Maybe you should let your family know you're on your way home?”

“Mhm, yea you're right.” Robert looked down at his phone like it was a foreign object.

Dr Henderson smiled sadly at Robert “Well I'll just something to help you with any pain you may feel later and one last form you need to sign then we can get you on your way.” The doctor said quietly before leaving him on his own.  
Robert unlocked the phone showing the screen was full texts and missed calls for Aaron wishing him luck and can wait to see him soons. He breathed deeply willing himself to push the call button next to Aaron’s name. When he did the line  
“You can do this, don't break.” Played over and over in his mind like some sort of mantra. Then finally

 **AARON** : **_Robert?! What's happens I've calling and texting you for ages? Are you ok?!_**  
Robert wanted to laugh as he was so far from ok.  
**ROBERT** : **_Yea I'm fine, the meeting just ran longer than even I planned so it was late be the time we finished. Also some idiot at the bar spilt his drink on my phone so I had to put it in a bag of rice._**  
Aaron laughed down the phone at his lie, god it hurt Robert to lie to him but he didn't need any more problem he told himself not after all the pain Aaron went through when he was in prison.  
**AARON** : **_The hotel gave you a bag of rice?_**  
**ROBERT** : **_No there's a shop not far from the hotel, and guess what it worked like I said._**  
It really did scare Robert how well the lies flowed off his tongue.  
**AARON** : **_So when are you coming home? Do you want me to make you anything?_**  
The smell of Robert's sick lingered in the still reminding him of what happened moments ago.  
**ROBERT** : **_Ah no I'm good but I should be home in an hour or so._**  
**AARON** : **_Ok I love you._**  
Robert could feel tears roll down his face upon hearing Aaron say that.  
**ROBERT** : ** _I love you too._**

He hope Aaron couldn't hear him starting to break, and was almost relieved when the line when dead.  
“ _I can't go home like this._ ” Robert thought to himself. “ _I need to man up, come on Robert pull yourself together._ ”  
Robert quickly slapped himself as if that was really going to help. Strangely Robert found the string of the slap therapeutic. A nurse came in not long after, quickly helped him get unhooked from the IV next to him and get onto his feet as well as pointed out the bag DS Wise had brought from his hotel room.

Robert was sore, sore in places he shouldn't be as sore. He felt as if he had be hit by a car, he couldn't bear to look in the mirror to see how he look not there. However he could already see the bruises on his wrists from what he assumed was from whatever was use to tie him to the bed. He could also see bruises on his sides near his hips. He closed his and dressed as best he could he didn't want to see anymore. Robert knew he didn't need to look in a mirror to see if his face was alright he knew from his history with John his face would never be harmed.  
“ _I could never harm that face, you got the face of an angel Golden Boy._ ”  
In some way Robert was thankful for that it meant less questions to answer for, less lies he has to tell Aaron.  
Robert couldn't help but hiss as pain flash throughout his body as finished putting his jacket on. Dr Henderson appeared again in his door.

“Ah good to see you back on your feet Mr Sugden, I just need you to sign this.”

The doctor handed a form over to Robert which signs with signature shakier than normal. “ And here is some painkillers for any discomfort or pain you may be feeling. Please be careful when taking these they are very powerful so read the instructions. Also here.”

Dr Henderson hands Robert a small bottle of painkillers and surprisingly his car keys.

“DS Wise was able to find them and bring your car over as he didn't think you would want to go back to the hotel and you are ok to drive. But please I do advise you seek some counselling because of the trauma you have endured.”

Robert just nodded not really caring anymore all he wanted to do was go home. As soon as Robert was out the hospital doors the hour drive back to Emmerdale felt like minutes. Passing up the Woolpack sign never before made Robert so happy. He entered the pub through back looking forward to when the mill was ready and it would just be Liv, Aaron and him.  
In the kitchen there he was his beautiful husband. Aaron turned to face him. “Hey you're finally-”  
Robert cut him off by pulling him into deep kiss, he just need to it, he need to taste his husband, feel his prefect lip against his.  
Aaron was the one who broke the kiss still not ready for anything further which it was fine for Robert. But he kept his forehead against Robert’s.  
“What was that for?”

Robert let out a sigh. “I just needed to kiss my husband.”

“Are you sure you're ok Robert? You're shaking a bit and you look really pale.”

Aaron cupped Robert’s cheek which Robert couldn't help but lean into he knew Aaron was only doing this so he could look into his eyes, to see if he was lying. But he didn't care he was starting to believe that he could put everything with John yesterday behind. Pretend like it never happen.

“Yea just a bit tired didn't get much sleep. So I'm going to take a quick shower then lay down for a bit.”

“You sure you don't want something to eat first?”

Robert couldn't help but smile he loved how caring Aaron could be.

“No I'm fine.” With Robert turned to head up the stairs but what Aaron said next kind of threw him.

“Oh Nicola it right happy with how you handle the third meeting yesterday.”

“What?” Robert was confused by this statement he never made the third meeting so he had no idea why Nicola would be saying something like that.

“Yea the guy called her after you two were done and said he couldn't wait to get started working we with us. Apparently he even called you Golden Boy.”

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy Shit thank you all who comment or who left a kudos it means the world to me! Now, this chapter was strange to write cause I knew what the idea was but at the same time, I felt really bad lol Now trigger warning for swearing, talk of rape and torture. I'm sorry  
> oh and sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes I'm trying to get better

Robert felt his heart drop into his stomach when Aaron said that. “ _ No, no, no! It has to be a coincidence.” _

“D-did he say anything else?” Robert asked trying with every fiber of his being not to sound scared, it seemed to work as Aaron didn't notice the unsteadiness in Robert’s voice.

 

“Mhm I don't, Oh yeah! He asked Nicola if you had got back to the office ok as you seemed a bit tied up when he last saw you.” 

“ _ Oh fuck!” _

_ “ _ Was he there when your phone was soaked?” Aaron asked confused by what the client meant by tied up no idea of what state this client had left his poor husband in. 

“Ah yeah he was there,” Robert answered sounding so matter of fact, it worried Aaron a little. Robert, on the other hand, had no idea his husband was looking at him worriedly he was too lost in his own thoughts.

 

“ _ How the hell did he find me? I never told him my real last name. Has he been stalking me? But how did he know I wasn't in London anymore? Is he going to try something like that again?” _

 

_ “ _ Rob? Robert?” 

 

Robert felt something touch his face causing him to flinch back and bring him out of his whirlpool of thoughts and questions. 

 

“Are you sure you're alright?”  Aaron was really concerned now, he couldn't help but feel Robert was keeping something from him. 

 

“Yeah, yeah I'm-” Robert stopped himself 

He let out a loud sigh before rubbing his hand down his face. “ _ I'm was raped, I'm was raped, I'm was raped.”  _ The single line repeat over and over wanting to be said however what really came out was again another lie to keep Aaron safe.

 

“I think I got a stomach bug from the hotel been sick all last night and this morning. I didn't tell you as I didn't want you to worry.”

 

A soft smile appeared on Aaron’s face. “Aw Rob-”

Aaron had tried to lean in to give him a hug only for Robert to pull back away from him. Robert saw a hurt look flash briefly across Aaron’s face. 

 

“I don't want you to get sick.” He said as he gave Aaron a weak smile.

 

Aaron smiled back and started laughing at Robert. “Soft lad should've thought of that before you kissed me, idiot, hahaha.” He then playfully hit Robert’s arm feeling silly with himself for thinking the worst. 

 

“Oh yeah, oops,” Robert said smiling still weakly as it wasn't a real smile, it was one he would put on whenever the Whites family would drag him to office parties or when he used to be with one of his clients. He felt sick using it on Aaron but he could see Aaron was satisfied with that excuse. “Well I'm going to take a shower then I'm going to bed.” 

 

“Ok, I'll finish up cleaning then go to bed too long day at the scrap yard.”

 

Robert threw his jacket on the couch and rushed up the stairs as fast as he could he didn't care that it caused him some pain. He quickly popped into his and Aaron’s room to grab his pajamas and headed to the bathroom. There he locked the door he didn't Aaron walking in him checking over his injuries or worse either Charity or Noah.  

 

Robert turned the shower on as he knew Aaron would get suspicious if he was in there too long with the door locked.

 

He kept his back to the mirror still not ready to see himself not till he was completely undressed, yet he could already see the bruises on his wrists and sides were profoundly darker and more discolored. They looked angry and violence. 

 

Once he was done undressing he turned to finally see what John had done to him. Robert gasped at the state of his body, his torso, sides, and hips were covered in a variety of different sized bruises. He was surprised he didn't have many on his inner thighs but they were still very sore in fact his whole was sore.He knew it was likely he was going to find walking and sitting down a bit challenging for a few couples.

 

He turned around to look at his back. “ _ Fuckin Hell It looks like I was attacked by a fucking lion!”  _ As there appeared to be some scratches along his shoulder blades. 

 

When he turned back to face himself he noticed a bandage on the left side of his neck just above the collarbone(of which itself was also covered it what appeared to be a mixture of bruises and hickeys Robert wasn't really sure which was which). 

 

Honestly, Robert was astonished he hadn't noticed this when he was getting dressed in the hospital but then again he was more focused on getting home then what kind injuries John inflicted on him. 

 

Robert slowly and as gently as he could pulled the bandage off, it was extremely tender and raw although it appeared that the hospital had cleaned it and close the wound with stitches. He stared closely at it trying work out what type of injury this could be as it didn't look like a normal cut. It was circular with jaggy lines. 

 

“ _ What the fuck is this?”   _ Robert thought has he took in the details of the mark, trying to make out what could have even made a mark like this, a difficult task since it was stitched up. However, a picture was soon forming in his mind of what kind of knife or object John used.

 

The wound was small with a circular/oval shape about it but it wasn't completely round either as it was broken into two curved like lines almost looking like a-. “OH MY GOD!” Robert exclaimed before doubling over in front of the toilet. It was safe to assume at that point whatever content that hadn't found it way onto the hospital room’s floor before was now expelled into the toilet.

 

When he was finished he stayed there on the floor with his cheek on the cold porcelain. “ _ That bastard bit me, he actually fucking bit me. Why would he do that?”  _ But frankly, Robert knew there was really no point asking himself that question as he already knew the answer. 

 

Dominants, plain and simple. John always liked to be the one in control, the one with all the power. Biting Robert, marking him in that way was just a different way John showed Robert he was the one in charge. That he owned him, hell he might as well as tattooed “ I own you”  on Robert’s forehead. 

 

Shakily Robert made his way back onto his feet as he went to place the bandage back over the bite he looked at the mirror only to see that he couldn't see himself anymore. Not the 31-year-old version of himself that finally had someone who loved him and who a little family of his own. But the 19-year-old who was alone and scared. He stood there in disbelief at what he was seeing. Unsure if he was going crazy or if the past was really coming back to haunt him. 

 

* **Knock knock*** The knocking at the door brought him back to his senses he turned towards the door.

 

“Robert? You ok in there?” Robert could hear the concern in Aaron's voice.

 

“Yeah sorry was just a bit sick. I'll be out soon.”

 

“Ok I’m just heading to bed now, I got you some water for your stomach.” Aaron then walked to their room he hated when Robert got sick he was the world’s worst patient. He started to smile when he began thinking of the last time Robert was ill. “ _ Thank god I love that man.” _

 

Robert on the other looked back the mirror only to see his reflection was back to normal.  _ “Come on Robert get your shit together.”  _ He decides it's probably best to finally take a shower.  Not care that the water is boiling hot. “ _ I remember reading something about fire purifying the soul maybe boiling water get the feeling of that monster off my skin.” _

 

Robert stays in there till his skin can't take any more. It feels raw like as if he is sunburnt all over but he doesn't care. Swiftly he finishes drying off and changed into pajamas, thankfully their long sleeved so are able to cover the bruises. As he leaves the bathroom he hoped Aaron asleep as he knows if Aaron thinks he's really sick he’ll extra caring and attentive things Robert didn't really want right now. 

 

“Hey, you were in there ages you feeling any better?”

 

_ “Shit he's still up,”  _ Robert thought to himself as he slowly climbed nodding to Aaron's question while trying his hardest not to make any noises that would reveal the pain he was in. Once he settled he turned his back to Aaron normally he would cuddle him and wrap his arms around him tightly so that he could make him feel safe but now Robert didn't want to touch Aaron. Not while he could still feel John on his skin. 

 

Aaron just chalked this distant behavior to Robert being sick. It didn't take long for sleep to find him it had been a long day at the scrap yard and he was exhausted. Robert on the other hand just laid there every time he closed his eyes memories of John and other clients that were almost as bad flashed in front of his eyes. Finally, he gave up around 3 when he realized sleep wasn't going to happen anytime soon. He got up to go downstairs grabbing one of Aaron’s hoodies before leaving the room as he may not want his husband to touch him that didn't mean he didn't want him close in some way. 

 

His muscles had stiffened from laying down so long plus the injuries he already had made the stairs a bit harder than they should be. When he got down to the living room he saw his jacket was still on the couch remembering he’d left the painkillers the doctor gave him in one of the pockets. 

He shouldn't have been so stupid as to have left them somewhere Aaron could find them but that was tomorrow’s problem right now Robert wanted some relief. Grabbing the bottle he couldn't help contemplating mixing the painkillers with scotch to numb his mind. “ _ No, I need to relax, not zone out.” _

 

Instead, he chose to just pop them in his mouth and swallow them dry. Slowly he sat on the couch stressfully running his hands through his hair worrying about going into the office tomorrow, which he would be going to despite any objections from Aaron as he wasn't really sick.  He’d rather listen to Nicola go on and on about expanding Holy Scrap then be alone with his own thoughts it was the lesser of two evils. 

 

He laid back waiting for the painkillers to kick in. 

_ “Nicola isn't going to stop asking about the meeting, she isn't going to stop asking what we talked about, she isn't going to stop asking how I manage to get a like that company on our books.”  _

Robert sat up when it dawned on him.” _ The company will be in our books now which I can get his real name. I can turn that fucker into the police!”  _

 

_ “ _ YES!” He exclaimed loudly thankfully though not loudly enough to wake anyone in the house. He couldn't help but smile at the idea of getting rid of John forever. Soon Robert found his mind and body becoming engulfed in a wave of numbness. 

 

“ _ The painkillers must be kicking in.” _

 

Feeling himself getting lightheaded Robert decided it wouldn't be smart to try the stairs. He laid back down on the couch wrapping Aaron’s hoodie tightly around himself breathing in the smell of aftershave that lingered upon it. 

 

The familiar scent and painkillers help lured him into a dreamless sleep.

 

Sounds of laughter and talking slowing brought Robert back to consciousness, slowly he sat up casting his still tired eyes to the clock by the tv there he could see it was now 11:49 pm. At first, he wonders why Aaron didn't wake him when he noticed a glass of water, two paracetamols, and a note:

 

**Robert,**

**I know that despite the fact that you're sick you are still going to come into work and spread your germs around cause you're a stubborn ass. Didn't wake you though cause you needed the sleep and you deserved a lie in.**

 

**I'll see you later, I love you**

 

**Aaron**

 

Robert smiled at the note but remembered what he needed to do. So swiftly he raced up the stairs changed and was out the back door in a heartbeat. He probably went a little too fast when driving to the portacabin but caring about getting a ticket was the least of his worries he was on a mission and no way in hell was anything going to stop him. 

 

Screeching to a halt he practically jumped out the car and darted to the door of the portacabin when he opened it he found everyone laughing and there bang in the middle was the devil himself. In the same style of suit, he wore all the time with the same creepy smug smile on his face.

  
“Ah, Golden Boy you've finally decided to join us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to write something really clever and cheeky here but it's 1:38 am and my brain is a bit fried lol Please leave a comment because they give me the push to keep writing or if you have any suggests, ideas, rant about who you hate Rebecca(sorry if you do like, I just don't) or you just want a chat you can find me on Tumblr @ghost-online


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO!! Again thank you to everyone that comments or left a kudos honestly I'm taken aback by it all I'm really happy you like my story and are even reading it. Now, this chapter is a bit short than the other two but I though since our boys are back tomorrow it would be good to post something cause as much as I have missed them I have not missed their SL(or Rebecca who will be back on our screens boo) Anyway hope you like this chapter!

Robert felt like the air had been sucked out of his lungs. This didn't seem real John being there, injecting himself into Robert’s personal life. It felt like it was breaking the illusion he had built himself about his past and present life never meeting. Any fantasy left of Robert being able to go back to his normal life died within him at that very second. 

 

“Robert are you ok?” Aaron asked concerned of how pale Robert appeared. 

“Yeah,  Robert are you ok?” John asked with a smug look on his face as if he was predator eyeing up its prey, well in a way he was. Hearing his real name being said by this man, made Robert’s stomach flip. Yes, he hated the nickname Golden Boy but hearing this monster say his name was much worst. It just sounded wrong.

 

“W-what are you doing here?” Robert asked still in shock at the sight of his tormentor at his work but he wanted an answer. However, it was Nicola that answered instead. 

 

“Apparently you forgot to get Mr.Duncan’s-”

 

“Please, Nicola there's no need to be formal anymore you can just call me John.” He said to her while shooting her a playful smile and wink. 

 

“ _ His name is really John, no fucking wonder it suited the bastard.”   _ Robert thought to himself 

 

Nicola, on the other hand, blushed taken aback by John’s flirting and rather enjoying it till Jimmy who was standing behind her chair gave it a wee nudge as if to say “ _ I'm still here Nico.” _

 

_ “ _ Ooh oh yes of course, apparently you forgot to get John’s signature on one of the contracts.”

 

“Oh how silly of me.” Robert replied not bothering to hide the sarcasm and hatred in his voice much to the surprise of the others(apart from John of course) who were taken aback as they never seen Robert talk this way to a client. Normally he would be so charming you'd think he was trying to get them to fall in love with him but now he looked as if he wanted to beat the shit out of John. 

 

“That's ok Golden Boy, can't be perfect all the time,” John said shooting Robert the same sickening smile he gave him only a few days ago. John then looked at his watch. 

 

“Well as much as I would love to stay and chat more I got to get going.” 

 

John then proceeded to go around the room saying his goodbyes. He kissed Nicola’s hand much to the annoyance to Jimmy, though John must have sensed that as he then turned to him and while giving Jimmy a handshake. “You're a lucky man with this one Jimmy.” And with that comment, any jealousy Jimmy had was gone. 

John then turned to Adam who seemed more than happy to give him a handshake. 

 

“Now Adam we definitely have to get a pint sometime I want to hear more about those ideas of yours.”

Adam happy at the thought of sharing ideas with the experienced businessman smiled and replied. “Oh definitely mate, will do.”

 

But it wasn't till John turned his attention to Aaron did Robert feel his blood begin to boil. He didn't want this man anywhere near his husband, however, he knew if he were too reactive in anyway questions would be asked, questions there would destroy his marriage. So he had to just stand there and watch. 

 

“Aaron it was really lovely to meet you. Hope Golden Boy knows how special you are.” Then John did something that made Robert want to rip him apart was he winked, he actually winked at his husband right in front of him. And what made it worst was Aaron blushed. Aaron didn't say anything to John he just smiled and blushed a little at the comment but when he looked over a Robert he could see that he had done something to piss him off. Because if looks could kill the glare Robert was giving Aaron would have blasted him from existence. 

 

Robert knew John wasn't interested in Aaron and that he was only doing this to piss him off and it was working. 

 

“John how about I walk you out?” Robert asked turning in vain to hide his angry. John just nodded and walked past Robert out the door. Robert glared at Aaron who looked embarrassed one more time before following John. He waited till they were near John’s car which thankfully far from the portacabin so one would hear them.

 

“Well Golden Boy your husband seems nice, I guess you weren't really gay for pay.” John laughed after saying that finding his own comment funny. Robert though didn't say anything he quickly looked back once to make sure no one was there to see them before grabbing John and pushing him hard against his car.

 

“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING HERE?!” Anger and hatred dripped from his words but John seemed unaffected about his words. 

 

“Why Golden Boy I'm only here to ensure the business arrangements between my company and Holy Scrap.” But Robert didn't believe him.

 

“Was that your plan all along? Set up the meeting so that you could find me?”

 

“Now now Robert you know as well as I do that there are always younger and fitter man (he poked Robert’s stomach as he said that) out there looking for a quick fuck and a fast buck.” Robert strangely felt self-conscious when John poked him.

 

“But honestly Robert it was the lovely Nicola who set up the meeting I had no idea you would be there till I saw you at the bar. So I guess you can say it was fate that wants us to have another go walk down memory lane.”

 

Robert couldn't help but feel disgusted. “A walk down memory lane? You drugged me, raped me and left me tied to a bed!"

 

John just shrugged at Robert's comment. “tomato tomito.” Dismissing Robert as if it was nothing. 

 

“I want you to go or I swear I'll go to the police and you'll never see that light of day.” 

 

John just laughed it sounded so unnatural he then placed his on top of the bite wound he left on Robert.

 

“I don't think so because from I can see is that your darling husband has no idea of our past which means he has no idea of your past as a whore am I right?” 

 

Robert didn't say anything but his tense jaw gave his answer for him. 

 

“Now now Golden Boy from my experience you need honesty in a marriage.”

 

Robert was almost shocked by this new information about John. “You were married?”

 

“I was I mean she was a bitch and I cheated but at least I was honest about it, as for us I may not have been looking for you but I'm sure as shit not letting you go.” John then began tightening his grip on Robert’s wound causing him groan in pain. 

 

“And if you do go to the police I promise that your naive husband and everyone you know will become very aware of your time in the world's oldest profession. Do you understand?” 

 

Robert didn't say anything he just nodded. 

 

“Now that's the Golden Boy I know.” And that John let go of Robert, got into his car and just before drove off John rolled down his window and looked at Robert. “I'm looking forward to our next meeting Golden Boy, I assume the rates will be the same.” 

 

He drove off laughing leaving Robert standing there knowing things were going to get much worse for himself. 

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know about you guys but writing this I picture John is like a British version of Jeffrey Dean Morgan I don't know why. You guys can tell me what you think. Like always please comment as I love seeing what you guys think as that gives me the fuel to write more for you. If you to talk to me I'm always up for a chat @ghost-online on Tumblr. Again thank you for reading and have a good day!!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! as all you guys wished I'm still writing this story and will be as long as you lot keep wanting to read it!you  
> Another thank you for all the kudos as well as the comments to keep going they are working! Also a special thank you to whose who bookmarked it thank you!

“Oh, mate looks like you're in trouble,” Adam said while pushing Aaron’s shoulder slightly. Aaron could almost hear the laughter in Adam’s voice but Aaron didn't find it funny.

“Shut up.” He replied back trying to think about what had happened. It wasn't like Aaron hadn't seen Robert get jealous before, in fact when Robert was still with Chrissie he didn't like the idea of anyone other than him being with Aaron. So Aaron knew what Robert looked like when he was jealous and that wasn't it. He looked really upset and angry. 

_ I mean it's wasn't like I really did anything, he just winked and that took me off guard. Robert will understand once I talk to him won't he?”  _ Aaron thought to himself replaying the glare over and over in his mind.

Jimmy, on the other hand, didn't say anything though the look on his face showed that he found the whole thing funny. Guess it's cause it was one of the rare times it wasn't Nicola and him fighting. Nicola, of course, said something it would be a surprise if she didn't.

“Careful there Aaron looks like your hubby doesn't like you swooning over the client.”

“Ah if anyone was swooning it was you, acting like a schoolgirl around him”

Nicola just scowled and said something to Aaron but he wasn't listening. He tried to focus on the paperwork in front of him but he couldn't.

“ _ Robert wasn't really mad, was he?” _

He knew that he and Adam had to go to a job soon however he wanted to wait to prove to everyone and maybe himself that Robert wasn't upset with him. That idea soon went out the window when Robert re-entered the portacabin. Anger just radiated off him. So much so that everyone went quiet and the tension thickened so much that it feel like you couldn't breathe.

Aaron had never seen Robert like this after talking with a client, yeah he would get annoyed with some of them but he had never been this angry. Aaron decided to try and break the tension in the hope it could better Robert’s mood.

“Hey, Rob-”

“Don't you two have a job to be getting to?”

Robert just cut him off at the knees with his question while shooting Aaron another deathly glare.

“Ah yeah but-”

“Well then you should get going then shouldn't you.”

The coldness Robert's voice was a clearly sign that he wasn't happy with his husband. So Aaron decided he wasn't going to answer or argue, not when Robert was in this mood. It wouldn't be a smart idea, He just nodded and pushed Adam who was finding this all way too funny out the door.

Once they were outside Adam erupted in laughter. He couldn't help it really he weirdly enjoyed the fact Aaron was in the bad books for once, a thing that he had never seen before to Robert and Aaron's relationship normally it was Robert somewhat in the wrong. Not that he thought his mate did anything wrong by unintentionally responding to Mr. Duncan’s flirting. Though if Robert was anything liked Vic when she was angry. Aaron could look forward to a week of the silence treatment. Aaron just stayed quiet hoping that when he got home Robert’s mood would be better.

Robert’s heart ached a little at the sad look on Aaron’s face after he cut him off and basically told Aaron to get out. However, it couldn't stop the feeling of blood burning as Aaron blushing to John replayed in his head.

“ _ Normally Aaron just nods, shakes the client’s and let them get on their way.?Why, why, why?! Did today he had to be different and why John?” _

Robert knew he was being irrational he knew that he also knew Aaron didn't really find John good looking and only blushed because he was caught off guard. But it didn't matter how many time he told himself that it wasn't helping his mood. Maybe because that it wasn't the only reason he was so damn mad.  Bloody John goes from winking at his husband to telling Robert that he wants him to be his very own personal rent boy. The fucking cheek!

Clearly, the man was born with no shame or conscience and the world’s biggest balls. Robert didn't want to do it of course because it meant that being John’s rent boy would mean cheating on Aaron. 

(He didn't count his latest encounter with John as cheating, of course, he was drugged and if wasn't for the hospital and wounds he wouldn't even know anything happened)

He was ashamed to remember he almost came close to cheating on Aaron once when Aaron was in prison and on drugs. He remembers they had a fight and the words Aaron said cut him so deep he wanted to do something worse. So he did what he always did when he was self-destructing he got drunk. Sadly he got so drunk he trashed their future home wasting weeks of hard work and time. Then texted the one person he knew sleeping with would hurt Aaron as much as Aaron hurt him.

Well, he thought he did,  however when it was Liv who appeared in the doorway instead of Rebecca. Robert saw that in his drunken state he texted the wrong person, but that didn't stop him from bad mouthing Aaron all night for being weak or saying how love is pointless. Yet when the sun started to rise, Robert, found himself weeping in Liv’s arms holding her just as tightly as she was holding him. Liv may be Aaron’s sister but Robert saw so much of himself in her, she’s probably the closest thing he will have to a daughter. And that night brought them closer than they ever had been before.

In the cold sobering light of day, Robert thank god that it was Liv that was texted instead of Rebecca as he realized he could have thrown away his little family. Robert remembered how Aaron crying on his next visit and how he say didn't mean what he said and Robert told him how he almost did something stupid too. Together the three of them promise to get better together and be honest with one another.

Sadly Robert felt as if that promise was coming back to haunt him.  It was like he was between a rock and a hard place.  Because if he was honest with Aaron about his past, and of the things he uses to do he knew he would lose him, on the other hand, he knew if he did what John wanted and became his rent boy again he would still lose Aaron if he found out.  

Robert knew that there was no answer that didn't involve him losing the one person he loved so much. He could feel his chest start to tighten and his heart rate high. He wanted to scream. No, he needed to scream, he needed to be alone so that he could sort everything going through his head. And breathe, most importantly he needed to breathe.

Once Robert could hear Aaron and Adam's truck drive off, he waited a few moments before he turned to Nicola and Jimmy. Both looking at some paperwork on Nicola's desk.

 

“Look because I was off most of the morning why don't you two head home early, I can handle the rest of the paperwork here myself today.” He hoped they didn't notice that he was beginning to sweat. He swore the temperature went up 10 degrees in the space of a few seconds.

Thankfully they didn't and were soon out the door leaving him alone. He knew he was starting to have a panic attack he had seen Aaron have a few since he's been back from prison.

Robert ran his shaking hands through his hair, he tried to calm himself but it wasn't working all he could think about was how he was going to lose his family. He started to feel very lightheaded, he tried to stand and make his way to the door but then with seconds there was darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK tell want you what you think of this chapter, what you think should happen in the next chapter. tell me anything!! lol if you want to chat I would you rant about how much the currently SL sucks! But god doesn't Robert look good with a tan? lol as always you can talk to me on Tumblr @ghost-online!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO!!!!!! Thank you again for the kudos and comments, honestly, some of them brought tears to my eyes lol then again I'm just happy you all are reading! I don't you about you guys but Thursday's episodes were beautiful but BUT tonight! not happy god I hate Rebecca. But going off point lol Enjoy this chapter

Robert woke up some time later on the floor of the portacabin. “Shit,” Robert exclaimed rubbing his sore head as he made his way up from the floor. His head was pounding indicating either a headache or he hit his head on the way down. He was leaning toward the “ hit head” conclusion as he still felt dizzy as he sat in the seat by his desk. He waited till the dizziness passed before he decided to see how long he was out for. 

 

“ _ Crap, it's 8, Aaron is going to think I'm working late on purpose cause I was fucking mad at him earlier.”  _

 

Robert's assumption was right as he looked at his mobile which was still on his desk and could see a few miss calls and texts from Aaron. Robert went through the texts before one caught his eye. 

 

**AARON** **_< 3 - _ ** **Hey Rob, don't know when you're coming home but both dinner and I will be waiting. X**

 

**“** _ I don't deserve him, I don't. I was an asshole to him and he still made me dinner.” _

 

Robert knew that he needed to get home and apologize for how he acted to Aaron earlier. So slowly Robert managed to get on his feet though he was still a bit unsteady. He locked up, got in his car and made his way back to the pub but he had to stop a few time as his vision was still somewhat blurry. Luckily he believed he was going to get there in one piece. 

 

Aaron, on the other hand, had been waiting for Robert to arrive home ever since he himself got home at around 5:30 pm he tried calling and texting Robert only to get no response. He even made one of Robert's favorite meals for dinner in a vain attempt to make peace though he thought by the length of time he was going to have to microwave it now getting a curry might be a better idea.

 

Aaron knew that there were two reasons Robert would be this late. Either he could be working late on purpose because he was still angry at Aaron or he could be working late because he simply lost track of time which has happened before as he could be a bit of a workaholic. Aaron really hoped it was the second reason as they hadn't really fought since he got out of prison, ok yeah they may have had one or two disagreements (come on, white cupboard handles really?) but nothing really big. It was different for them just to be happy with no real worries. He was enjoying the calm and didn't want it to end.    
  
“ _ Please be working, Please be working, Please be working.” _

 

Aaron was soon brought out of his thoughts by the sound of someone in the hall having entered from the pub. Aaron stood up and began to walk over to the door. “Robert?” He called out only to be disappointed when Vic appeared instead.

 

“No, it's only me, but I can see that you're not happy about that,” Vic said as she followed Aaron who was making his way back to the kitchen table. As Vic sat down next to Aaron she could see that he appeared depressed. 

 

“Robert is working late tonight, I'm so waiting for him to come home.”

 

Vic didn't really look surprised, Adam probably told her, which wasn't shocking. When it came to the relationship of Aaron and Robert Vic always wanted to know if everything was alright with them. Both Aaron and Robert guessed after all the hard times they had been through the last two years she wanted to make sure nothing else could hurt them. Whether it was a big problem or their own stubbornness. Vic was like their very own real-life guardian angel who tried help whenever she could even if the boys didn't really want her to.

 

“Are you really sad cause Robert is late or are you sad cause you think he might be mad at you because of what happened at the scrapyard?”

 

Aaron didn't say anything he just leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms not really looking Vic in the eyes. To Vic, he might as well of scream his answer out on the roof top. 

 

“Aw Aaron you know Robert is just being a bit jealous, he knows you love him just as much as he loves you.”

 

“But he looked so angry Vic, and he seemed so mad at the guy which I've never seen him be like that with a client.” 

 

“Maybe he was just mad the guy had his eye on you and not him.”

 

Aaron looked at Vic confused. Before he could ask what she meant Vic continue as she must've realized Aaron didn't understand what she was talking about. 

 

“Oh come on even I know what my brother can be like when he's trying to win over a client. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if he was trying to make them think he was in love with them.”

 

Aaron laughed a little as Vic wasn't too far off the mark with Robert’s client gaining technics. Vic continued as she saw her comment had lightened Aaron’s mood. 

 

“He so good with them I wouldn't be shocked if he wanted to them think they were in with a chance of sleeping with him.”

 

Aaron laughed he knew Robert wouldn't cheat on him, he did know Robert came close once but they were both in a bad place and in the end it never happened instead it helped them get closer. But he also knew that Robert had a flirtatious charm when it came to getting new clients. Sometimes it was annoying and well sometimes it was a bit sexy but Aaron would never admit that to Robert. His head was big enough.

 

“Oh come on Aaron you know I'm right.”

 

Aaron couldn't help but smile as he remembered the fact the only reason Holy Scrap exists is that of his affair with Robert. 

 

“Well, he does have a history,” Aaron said laughing feeling his mood lighting. But that didn't last long.

 

“It's nice to know my sister and my husband view me so highly of me.” There Robert stood in the doorway he had heard everything both his loved ones had said about him and it hurt. Too close to the bones of his past. 

 

_ “Fuck!”  _ Aaron thought as he looked at his husband who looked angrier than he did at the portacabin. 

 

“Robert we don't real-” Aaron tried to explain that they didn't mean what they said but Robert was having none of it. Cutting Aaron off before he could really talk.

 

“So you both think of me as some kind of gigolo who fucks clients to get a deal? Thank you, it's good to know.”

 

With that Robert turned to leave. “Robert wait!” Vic yelled hating the idea her brother actually thought they were serious. 

 

“Sorry Vic I can't with all the slagging I'm doing for the business I'm behind on my paperwork.” Robert made his way to the door. Aaron wanted to stop him so he yelled the first thing that came to mind. 

 

“What about dinner?” 

 

Robert stopped briefly, not looking at his sister or husband and replied with angry laced into his words.

 

“I'm not hungry.”

 

And with that, he left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOOH I'm starting a mob on Tumblr, thought we'd light the Robron signal and get rid of Rebecca together lol If you talk, rant or just say I would love to talk you as always to can find me @ghost-online on Tumblr


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!!! as always thanks for the lovely comments and special thanks to Yeleli_tilki as I love your stories and love seeing your comments as well Regularkat and robronanyway who listened to my rants about Friday's episode that shouldn't have happened

Aaron didn't sleep all night after Robert left. He kept wondering why Robert was so upset, alright what they said about him weren't the nicest things but it wasn't like they hadn't poked funny at his unique style of gaining clients before. Even Robert himself joked about his suaveness was the real reason they got so many deals. Hell, that was last week! 

So now Aaron couldn't understand why it would hurt him so much, what had changed? Sadly when Robert came back in the morning he didn't say or even look at Aaron he just came in showered, changed and as back out again. Aaron hopes that this punishment wouldn't last long however it continued for the next week and a half! 

 

Robert would work as late as he could, sleep in his car or the couch(never next to Aaron no matter how much Aaron wished he would) shower, change and then back to work. Aaron had no idea if he was eating as he would leave lunches in Robert's desk only to come back from a job to find the lunches back on his.  _ “At least it wasn't going in the bin, that would really hurt.”  _ Aaron would tell himself whenever he saw them. 

 

Somedays he didn't even see Robert but he could tell he'd been there. It was like living with a ghost you can't see them though things have been moved or replaced. It was torture. 

Vic wasn't faring any better Robert would just blank her altogether. Or just straight up ignoring her calls and texts as well as avoiding her whenever he could next quite amazing seeing they lived in a little village. In the end, both Viv and Aaron thought it would be best to just leave Robert till he decided to give them a chance to say sorry. As they knew if they tried to push him he would only pull away more.

 

For Robert the first few days were somewhat barely though that was because of the headache he received from fainting and hitting his head had helped distract him from the sad looks Aaron would give him whenever they were near one another. However, once that was gone he felt like he was torturing himself as well as Aaron and Vic. Honestly he wanted to forgive them so much as it pained Robert to hurt his loved ones this way but their words hit a nerve in himself that stop him from doing so.

 So he did the only thing he could do to distract him from his own pain which was work. Sadly even that was harder than it should be but not just because Aaron was always so close to him(they did live and work together)it was because of John.

 

John had been ringing almost none stop trying to plan meetings or wanted to chat about different ideas that new their new business relationship. But Robert knew John was only doing all these things to get him all to himself. He wasn't going to let that happen, not if he could help it. So Robert avoided John as if he was the plague itself, constantly having Nicola reschedule or just cancel meeting with John because he was too busy with other deals. Whenever Nicola would try to have a go at him about it Robert would say.

“I'm on a tightrope here Nicola, I'm just trying to keep everything balanced and just make it to the end of the line.”  She would make a face showing how she wasn't happy but Robert didn't care. 

 

Because honestly Robert really felt more like juggling act than a tightrope act. Trying to juggle his angry with Aaron and Vic as well working on the business of the scrapyard and avoiding John. It was really stressing him out plus sleeping either in his car or on the couch wasn't helping either. 

He felt like everything was getting too much which why he was happy he was going to be the only one at the scrapyard that day. Both Adam and Aaron were at jobs, Nicola was needed at the factory and Jimmy had the day off. 

 

Totally alone he knew that he could look over the paperwork Home-Farm, finally reply to some of the emails Liv had sent him. He couldn't wait for Liv to come home, who knew that he would actually miss having a teenager in the house. And maybe have a good hour or two nap on the floor as both the couch and his car were starting to take their toll on his back.

 

“ _ I'm getting too old to sleep in my car.”  _ Something he'd never thought he'd admit to himself.

 

He did still have some of the painkillers left from his hospital visit which helped a bit but he didn't want to use them too much. He had a tricky past when it came to pills some else he never wanted his loved ones to know. But he's been good for years and had a good handle of the painkillers the hospital give him so he wasn't too worried. 

Paperwork, emails, and nap that was the plan of the day. Well, that was the plan anyway, Robert was half way through the paperwork Rebeca had given him. When he could hear a car pulling up, he didn't bother looking to see who it was as he assumed it was either Adam or Aaron. 

 

“ _ Great there goes my nap.”  _ Robert thought to myself as he rubbed his tired eyes.

 

Turning his attention back down to his work he doesn't notice that it was either Aaron or Adam entering. He didn't notice the lock getting turned on the door, locking him and this person in together sealing his fate. He didn't notice anything was even wrong till it was too late. 

 

“Hello Golden Boy, have you been ignoring me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DA DA DA!!!!! What do you think will happen next to our cute blond? What will John do? Will Aaron ever find out? Will the writer of this ever tell her bf she writes fanfic( i did it was awkward) find out next chapter!! Please talk to me on Tumblr @ghost-online or in the comments below


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHAT ANOTHER CHAPTER SO SOON?? YES! I'm on a roll! And I'm going to say sorry as this was chapter made me feel a bit uncomfortable and I wrote it! If this does make you feel uneasy I'm sorry.  
> Thank you for all the comments and kudos. You guys are the reason I have the confidence to even write this. Hope you enjoy.

Robert’s head shot up so fast to look at John he could have given himself whiplash. John was just standing there in front of the door as always in a suit with a smug smile on his face. But there was angry burning in his eyes Robert could see it. It was burning so bright it made John truly look like the monster he was.

 

“I asked you a question Golden Boy,  have you been ignoring me?” 

 

You could almost feel the venom in John’s words. Robert had always boasted that he could talk his way out of any situation but at that time he couldn't speak. Not one word, it felt like his throat had closed up due to fear and not even a whisper could escape. 

 

“You know Golden Boy my mother always taught me that it was rude to ignore people especially when you own them so much.”

 

Robert could feel the blood drain from his face. 

 

“I, ah l didn't-” John cut Robert off by grabbing his shirt dragging him out of his chair and pinning up against the portacabin’s wall. 

 

“Oh, Golden Boy you've gotten older but sure as shit not wiser. Did you really think ignoring me would make me go away?”

 

Robert didn't say anything. He just looked at John trying not to show how scared he was and prayed maybe Aaron or Adam would really come back early. 

 

“Oh, Golden Boy have you forgotten that you own me? I mean if it wasn't for me you wouldn't be here.” 

 

“I don't know what you're talking about,” Robert said tried to sound confident. He thought if maybe he sounded confident maybe he could somehow feel it. 

 

However that just really pissed John off. He grabbed Robert by the throat and squeezed tightly, not enough to start choking Robert but enough to make breathing a challenge. 

 

“DON'T LIE TO ME! You know for a fact that I hadn't of found you on that floor you would be dead now.”

 

Robert knew what he was talking about, one of his darkest days that he wished didn't happen but right now he wished he did die so that John would have never entered his life. 

 

John could see in Robert’s eyes that he was winning not that he was surprised he always won in that end. “ _ Oh, Golden Boy I have you right where I want you.” _

 

“Now Golden Boy like I said before I may not have been looking for you but now that I've found you I'm not letting you go. I think it's time you start repaying your debt.”

 

“Debt?” Robert asked his voice shaking scared any confident he had been faking was gone as he imagined what might have been going through John’s mind. 

 

“Of course I mean how do you really pay back someone for saving their life? Cause I think I could up with some ways you can repay me Golden Boy. Some fun ways.”

John leaned in close and whispered in Robert’s ear. “Remember all the fun we use to have?”

 

Robert knew exactly what John meant by fun and it wasn't in any way shape or form fun. 

 

“Please,” Robert begged. “ I don't want to do this, I don't do this anymore, please just let me alone. And I'll never tell police it was you, please.”

 

John looked as if he was considering what Robert had begged of him. For a minute Robert thought maybe John had changed maybe time had softened him a bit. But he was wrong as John began to laugh long and hard as if he had heard the funniest thing in the whole world. He even teared up a little. 

 

“Really Golden Boy begging? I am disappointed. Maybe that husband of yours has made you weak. Sweet naive little Aaron turned you soft.”

 

“ _ No.”  _ Robert thought to himself. “ _ He doesn't get to talk about Aaron.”  _

 

Robert felt something snap within him. He pushed John as hard as he could sending John stumbling back hitting the desk behind him. 

 

“Don't you even say ANYTHING about my husband do you hear me?”

 

John laughed again finding Robert’s sudden flare of confidence hilarious. “Ooh look at this Golden Boy got some balls!” 

 

Before Robert could do anything John punched him hard in the gut causing him to fell to his knees in pain and winded. John grabbed Robert's hair and pulled his head back so that he could see his face.

 

“But I wouldn't be so cocky if I were you. Cause in case you've forgotten hubby doesn't know that you use to let people do all sort of thing to you for a price. Imagine what he would say if he knew about all that stuff we got up too? Especially with his past.”

 

“ _ What? He can't know about Gordon, no way.”  _ Robert’s shocked face must have expressed what he was thinking as John replied. 

 

“Oh yeah, I know everything about Aaron’s past. Wanted to know about the man my Golden Boy married. Well says they're married but really living in sin naughty boy.”

 

“ _ Holy crap he knows we haven't legalized it yet.” _

 

“And given Aaron’s past with his Daddy how do you really think he’ll feel about his husband charging £500 an hour?” 

 

Robert didn't say anything cause he knew John was right, Aaron was still haunted by what his father did to him. He also remembered the look on Aaron’s face back when they were just having an affair and Robert told Aaron that he wasn't the only one. That he was just one of many. It was a lie just something to hurt Aaron but Robert could still recall the look on Aaron's face.

 The look of disgust. The look of pain. He couldn't do that to him, not again.

 So Robert with tears in eyes and his voice almost breaking when he asked John.

 "So what would you like me to do sir?”

 

“Ah, that's my boy.” John let go of Robert’s hair and looked at his watch to see how much  fun they could have together. He looked back down at Robert who was still on his knees. John gently began to run his thumb against Robert’s bottom lip. 

 

“Well, why don't we do something with that cocky mouth of yours.” 

 

Robert just nodded as he watched John unzip his trousers. A tear fell from his eye. John saw and said in also a whisper as if he was trying to be seductive. 

 

“If you want Golden Boy you can imagine I'm Aaron I won't mind.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I feel bad I'm so sorry if that made you uncomfortable. Please tell what you think in that comments below or message me on Tumblr @ghost-online I love talking to you guys.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO!! I just want to say sorry for three things.  
> 1) I'm sorry that it has taken me ages to update this story the current SL really has me down and is making hard for me to watch what they are doing to my favorite characters cause its shit.(there is no baby!)  
> 2) this chapter made me uncomforted and I wrote so I'm sorry if after reading you feel this way too but sadly it is part of the story's plot.  
> 3) And finally future sorry if I don't update for awhile as I'm moving into a flat with my Bf this week so will be a bit busy.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy :)

John stood in front of the kneeling Robert, trousers unzip and pulled out his already hard cock. 

 

“ _ I see torturing people is still a big turn on.” _

 

Robert thought to himself as he looked at this throbbing cock before him. He didn't want to do it but having Aaron know the true was a worst idea in Robert’s eyes. As he begun to slowing place his lips around John’s cock he tried to ignore the feeling of his stomach turning as he tasted John’s pre-cum in his mouth.

 

Robert tried to imagine John was Aaron he really did. He tried with every fiber of his being. He tried to imagine Aaron was gently pulling his hair but he couldn't as John was pulling so hard Robert thought John would rip his hair out. Robert tried to imagine Aaron’s moans and words of encouragement that almost sounded like he was purring sometimes. 

 

_ “Robert, yes Robert” _

 

It almost worked, he almost believed the fantasy But he couldn't as all he could hear was John's grants and moans, only caring about his own pleasure, not even thinking about the one delivering it. 

 

At one point John squeezed Robert’s shoulder which was still healing from the bite wound John gave him. Robert let out a muffled scream. But this only seems to get John off more. He confirmed this by shelving his cock further down Robert’s throat

 

_ “Sick fucking bastard!”  _

 

No matter how hard Robert tried he couldn't imagine what it would be like if it was with his husband because John was nothing like his Aaron. 

John was rough, mean and selfish words he would never use to describe Aaron. Maybe that's why he was finding so difficult.

 

Sadly the only thing Robert could really imagine was Aaron’s face with disappointment, sadden and angry written all over it. As he was cheating on his husband. Yeah, he was being blackmailed to do it, it still didn't stop Robert from feeling disgusted with himself. Robert couldn't escape, he couldn't trick himself into imagining that it was Aaron

 

Robert hated it and hated himself. Every second John’s cock was in Robert’s mouth he wished he didn't exist. He felt almost claustrophobic as John’s cock was pushing hard down Robert’s throat not caring if Robert was enjoying it or not. 

After John came he pulled his cock from Robert’s mouth he could see Robert was looking for the bin so that he could maybe dispose of his cum. 

 

John roughly grabbed Robert's face making him look at him. “Swallow.” It almost sounded like a growl. But Robert did what he was told. And watched as John cleaned himself up not really caring about Robert. Normally Aaron would cuddle him and laugh with him and tell Robert he loves him. But he wasn't with Aaron not now.

 

“Well Golden Boy that was fun.” John took an envelope from his jacket. “Here's your payment for a  **job** well done.” John smiled finding his own joke funny as he tossed the envelope in front of Robert who was still sitting on the floor.  He just stared at it like it was some foreign object. He didn't really know what to do next. When Robert did eventually picked up the envelope it felt wrong in his hands, it didn't feel like it use too, and in a way he was glad about that to him meant that maybe there was hope he would fall to far from the man he is now. However the sound of John zapping up his trousers killed that hope.  

 

Because he was right back where he once was when he was Nineteen. On his knees with an envelope of money in his hand, waiting to see what John wanted next. 

 

John really wasn't paying Robert any attention at this point as far as he was concerned he had gotten all that he wanted from him today. He showed him who was boss and got him on his knees to prove it. John rather enjoyed it not just because he got to have power over Robert but because it been awhile since he had good head.

 

“ _ Damn that boy has a good mouth and a wicked tongue.”  _

 

Honestly, John would be up for round two if hadn't had to be somewhere. John looked down at Robert still on his knees and smile.

 

“ _ Now that's a beautiful sight.”  _

 

John looked at his watch again and saw that if he didn't leave now he would be late. 

 

“Damn I gotta go, but I guess what they say is right time does really fly when you're having fun.” 

 

John laughed at his own joke again while Robert remains quiet.

 

“Why do you walk me out Golden Boy?”

 

Robert did what he was told unsure of what else he could do. He felt so broken. As usually John didn't care that what he had made Robert do cut the young man so deeply he only care about his own needs and right now his needs had been fulfilled, for now. 

 

Once outside John walked swiftly over to his car with Robert not far behind him, following him like a lost puppy. 

 

John opened the door of his posh car but didn't step in instead he turned back to Robert grabbed his face and pulled him in for a deep kiss forcing his tongue into Robert’s mouth. Robert never really reacted he just stood there as if he was a statue. Soon John broke the kiss but didn't let go of Robert’s face holding so that he had to look into his eyes.

 

“I'm sorry I had to be so rough Golden Boy, I just don't like being ignored, but now that you're mine again. I promise it will be more  **fun** next time.”

 

Robert couldn't miss the evil glint in John’s eyes when he said that as he knew already what  **fun** really meant and it sure as shit wasn't fun in the normal sense.  

 

John let go of Robert’s face and proceeded to get into his car, he rolled down his window so that he could say one more thing to Robert before he left. 

 

“Oh and Robert, if I were you, I'd clean myself up a bit. You've got a little bit of me left on your chin.” And with that comment, John was gone.

 

As John drove off Robert felt like he was knocked back to reality with what John said. Robert quickly started rubbing his face with hands trying desperately to get any trace of John off him. 

 

_ “Get off, Get off , GET OFF!!”  _

 

“Robert? You ok?”

 

When Robert heard the voice behind him he prayed that it wasn't Aaron. Thankfully it was Adam but a new worry began to creep up Robert’s spine.

 

“ _ Oh god, how long has he been there? Did he see John kiss me? Did he hear what John said to me?” _

 

_ “ _ Robert? You ok?”

 

Adam asked again looking worrying at his brother-in-law. Robert looked like a panic animal when Adam caught him almost scratching at his face. Honestly, Adam had never seen Robert be like this and it really worries him. 

 

“Ahh yeah I'm fine, I just need to get home.” Robert tried to say to Adam convincingly but he knew his raspy and harsh voice wasn't helping. 

 

Adam still was really worried about Robert something just seemed off about him. 

 

“Mate are you-”

 

“Yeah just got to go.”

 

Robert cut Adam off he didn't want to talk he need to get home, he needed to feel safe. Quickly Robert rushed back into the portacabin to get his keys as well as his painkillers and was quickly out the door again. Not caring that Adam was calling after him. Next thing Robert knew he was back at the pub to him it just seemed like he was only at the Scrap yard but he realised he must have been driving like a madman though honestly didn't care. 

 

Robert barged through the front of the pub and rushed passed anyone that was in his way, he just wanted to get upstairs and wash John off his skin. But Vic popped out the kitchen. 

 

“Ooh, Robert are you ok?” 

Adam had texted her saying that Robert was behaving weird and it worried him which then worried Vic. Vic knew he might still be in a mood with her but he was still her brother. Mood or no mood. She need to know if something was wrong.

 

However, Robert surprised her because instead of answering Robert just hugged her. Hugged so tightly as if he was scared she was going to disappear.

 

“Robert, what's wrong?”

 

“Nothing.”

 

Robert said voice still rough from John’s form of fun. He finally let Vic go so that he could look at her. He could see the confusion and worry in her eyes. 

 

“Honestly Vic, I'm fine I'm just sorry for how I've been acting for you later it was stupid of me.”

 

“ _ Especially now that it's true, I'm nothing more than a gigolo.”  _

 

Before Vic could say anything Robert moved passed her and went up the stairs. He grabbed some sweatpants, an old shirt and hoodie. And entered the empty bathroom. 

 

He locked the door, he turned the shower on. He needs it to cover the noise he knew he was going to make. 

 

“ _ I need to get him out of me.”   _ Robert thought to himself as he shoved his fingers down his throat. It took a bit of time but soon he was able to make himself sick. He wanted any trace of John gone which meant the cum he was made to swallow.

 

After he was done being sick he began to strip when caught sight of himself. Like before he didn't see himself not as he was now but as his 19 yr old self. That broke him. He hated the fact he was back down the hole he had tried so hard never to go down again. 

 

Once Robert was able to somewhat get a hold of himself when into the shower. Turned up as hot as it could go, hotter than it was before though this time he couldn't feel it he was too busy trying to clean John off his skin. Rubbing his skin red raw but he didn't care. 

 

When he finally felt somewhat clean he turned the shower off. Slowly he dries himself and got dressed both of which hurt as his skin was now very sensitive. He picked up his discarded clothes off the ground and went down the stairs to the kitchen.

 

He emptied his trouser pockets(his keys and painkillers) then placed the clothes in the bin he didn't want to ever see those clothes again. He put his keys on the counter but held the painkillers in his hand. 

 

“ _ I need to feel numb, I want to feel numb.” _

 

He knew he shouldn't do what he wanted to do, he knew it was a slippery slope but he didn't care he need it. So instead of the instructed two, he took four with a shot of scotch to wash it down. He then hide the drugs in his laptop bag that was thankfully laying on the table. 

 

He felt the numbness quickly consume his mind but he didn't feel sleepy and it felt great. He flopped down on the couch. 

 

“ _ Oh this is so good, so good. I've missed this feeling. Who knew feeling nothing would feel so good.”   _ Robert thought to himself with a dopey smile on his face. He had no idea how long he had been just staring into space when Aaron walked through from the back door. He had left his phone at home that day so he didn't see the text messages from Adam and Vic about their worry about Robert. In fact he just walked passed Robert seating on the couch to the kitchen.

 

He had decided that today was going to be the day he put an end to the silence treat Robert was subjecting him to, he had a game plan all worked out. But turned out he didn't need it because before he even had a chance to say anything Robert envelop him in a hug. 

 

Aaron was stunned he was happy that his husband was finally hugging him again yet he didn't know what caused Robert to forgiven him.

 

“Ahh, Rob-”

 

“I'm sorry I was an idiot before I shouldn't have been.” Robert interrupted in his harsh voice. 

 

Aaron was shocked by this admission as well as the state of Robert’s voice. Robert must have sensed this because as he broken the hug with Aaron he said.

 

“I've got a cold, but I'll be ok.”

 

“But Robert I'm sorry from what I said I didn't mean it.” 

 

“It doesn't matter now Aaron.”

_ “Because everything you said is now true.” _

 

Aaron didn't really believe him but he didn't want Robert to push him away again. 

 

“How about we go to bed cause I don't know about you but I'm tired,”  Aaron suggest as it had been sometime since he shared a bed with Robert. 

 

Robert just nodded, the idea of sleep seemed really appealing but as he turned to make his way up the stair his vision began to blur causing him to lose his balance and stumble. 

 

“Oops,” Robert said laughing with a dopey smile that Aaron hadn't seen Robert act like this before but he didn't really give it a second thought. 

 

Robert just stayed in his clothes and laid on their bed as he watches Aaron changed. Aaron was telling Robert about how the job went but Robert didn't hear a word he was too busy lost in his thoughts. 

 

Soon Aaron was next to Robert his arms wrapped around his middle Robert’s chin resting on his head. Aaron couldn't help but have a nagging feeling in his gut that something was wrong with Robert but he just decided that he was just being paranoid. And whatever worries he had could wait till the morning. 

 

Robert couldn't sleep, as much as he would have liked to doze off he didn't feel tired, he didn't feel anything. Not even the warm buzz he would normally get when Aaron was this close, but maybe that was a good thing after what he did today he didn't deserve it. It wasn't long till he could hear Aaron breathing become slow and steady, a sign that he was now asleep.

 

_ “ _ Aaron, you awake?” 

 

Robert whispered checking to see how deep of sleep Aaron was now in. Satisfied that Aaron wouldn't wake up. 

 

“I don't deserve you, Aaron, you deserve someone better than me, someone who isn't broken. Who won't hurt you. But I'm selfish and I just want to keep you for a little longer before my mask slips and you see how broken I really am and you run away.”  

 

Aaron didn't hear a word, he didn't even feel the tears that fell from his husband as he held him close.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me what you think your comments keep me going through this shit SL. And if you want to chat you can find me on my Tumblr @ghost-online


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO!! sorry, I've been so busy this week trying to move only for that not to happen, then drama with the BF. Honestly, I feel like my life is a drama like Emmerdale lol Anyway here a short chapter as a way to say sorry for being absent.

That nagging feeling in Aaron’s gut telling him that something was up with his husband don't go away. In the morning when Aaron read the texts sent by Vic and Adam about Robert’s behavior it really worried him. 

 

Aaron was really freaked out after Adam told him about the frightened look he saw on Robert’s face back at the scrapyard. As well as when Vic said Robert seemed so unlike himself when he came back to the pub that day. 

 

However, when Aaron confronted Robert he just brushed it off like it was nothing, just a misunderstanding which might have worked, Aaron would normally even put it down to stress. Except for the fact, Aaron felt like Robert's whole manner seemed to change overnight.  

 

He was sending most nights up late working which isn't strange for Robert but he then he is up again early in the morning. It was like he was rarely sleeping nowadays but even when he did he seem to push himself as far away from Aaron as he could. 

 

It was like he was now two people in the morning Robert would overly touchy and laughing for no reason almost like his old self but then he would go to work or a meeting. Because at night different Robert would return. One who was distant and quiet, barely talking to anyone. Keeping everyone especially Aaron at arm's length. This started to worry not only Aaron but the likes of Vic and Diane hell even Adam was concerned.

 

Aaron tried to convince himself it was stress from dealing with their new client, John Duncan. As Robert appeared to be always running off to meet John to talk about plans or new ideas.  Aaron just assumed that this guy was more demanding than the clients Robert was used too because as soon as he got back it was straight into the shower then into one of Aaron’s old hoodies. Things he only did when really stressed. But he looked lost and pale. Yet any time Aaron would ask if everything was ok he got the same response. 

 

“You know me, nothing I can't handle.”

 

However Aaron couldn't help but feel Robert was keeping something from him but what really was worrying him was the fact Robert was drinking more than he normally did, going through a bottle of whiskey in a single night. As well as a few shots in the morning when Robert didn't think Aaron was looking. 

 

Aaron wanted to get to the bottom of what would make Robert drink so heavily and so often. He felt like time was against him on the subject would what was wrong with Robert. 

 

“ _ I need to sort this, I needed to sort this soon.” _

Aaron would repeatedly say to himself when he would see Robert curled up on the couch with a drink in his hand and glazed look in his eyes.  

 

It didn't help that Liv and his mum were going to be back soon from taking care of Sandra. Aaron didn't want them to come back and see Robert behaving so unlike himself. Especially his mum, from what Liv told him through phone calls she was still wasn't happy with Robert after learning about the fact he almost cheated on Aaron.

 

Liv told him that when they got home from the prison after Robert’s confession Chas slapped him and said that she didn't want him anywhere near Aaron when he got out. In some way Aaron was happy the last few months she was away taking care of Sandra. But he still did miss her and Liv.

So Aaron was determined to find out what was going on with his husband and sort it. 

 

One way or another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please comment as they are the fuel that keeps me going. If you want to talk about this story, Emmerdale or Robron you can find me on Tumblr @ghost-online or if you don't have it I do have Kik as well so message me if you want to chat on that.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Holy Cow as of posting this chapter this story has gotten 195 kudos!! omg, thank you to everyone that left a kudos or comment or just even still reading!!

Robert knew he wasn't behaving like himself, he wasn't stupid. He could see the looks of confusion and concern on his loved one's faces. But he just didn't care that was the upside of mixing painkillers and alcohol was the feeling of calmness. And be able to not give a shit when he knew he really should. He even came up with a schedule of when he should take his helpful mixture. 

 

Even though he needed the feeling of calmness after his first “job” with John Robert decided that it would be better to take his mixture in the morning before seeing John.  Yes, he knew it caused him to act really unlike himself and he knew Aaron could sometimes smell the whiskey on his breath despite a number of mints he ate. And that he shouldn't even drive half the time with his mind so foggy.

 

Yet he found the calmness helped get him through the day without wanting to scream and tear any part of skin off that John touched. It also helped him be able to look his husband in the eye in the morning, give him a kiss and tell him that he loved him without crying and begging for forgiveness.

 

Robert was almost thankfully John had only been making him give blowjobs and the occasion handjob yet that didn't stop Robert’s heartache as he was touching someone who wasn't his husband. Hell half the time John actually believed Robert was enjoying himself. 

 

“I knew you come around Golden Boy, damn you're so good. I forgot how good you are.”

 

This worked in Robert’s favor, John was less rough(less rough than he normally was)when he thought Robert was as into it as much as he was. But Robert knew that soon John would get bored and want to be more physical. A worried that plagued him. 

 

Which was probably one of the reasons he never got high after his “meetings” with John. Maybe it was because he knew he didn't have enough pills which was the downside mixing painkillers and alcohol. As he couldn't just pop to the shop to get more. Or maybe it was a form of self-punishment, either way, every night he would go home sober with the memories of his betrayals fresh in his mind. 

 

He would then force himself to look in the mirror just to see how he had become the pathetic 19 years old he once was. And tell himself how stupid he really was to have let himself slip back into his past. 

 

“ _ Maybe this is what I deserve for all the bad things I've done, maybe this is my reckoning.”  _ Robert would think to himself as he would stare into the reflection of his now dull eyes.

 

Then he would scrub himself raw in a shower that never seemed hot enough nowadays to burn the traces sadistic monster off his skin. 

 

Then he would spend the rest of the evening lost in his thoughts with a bottle of whiskey to get him through the night. All while doing his best to ignore occasional eyebrow raise and a worried comment or two from Aaron and his other loved ones. 

 

“Is everything ok, Robert?” Concern was evident in Aaron’s voice but Robert would just put on a fake smile and say.

 

“You know me, nothing I can't handle.”

 

All while really thinking. _ ”If you knew what I've been doing you would leave me.” _

 

But Robert wasn't stupid he knew Aaron was starting to get concerned about his drinking. His bloody get fixed quick mixture was turning him into Jekyll & Hyde when all he wanted to be was Robert Sugden again. 

 

Yet he couldn't stop himself he needed something to get him through the pain he was feeling. However, he also knew he needs to get this sorted soon as Liv and Chas were coming home. And that meant that if Robert didn't get this under control more eyes would be on him which would cause more pressure and eventually he would break. Then he would lose everything. 

 

He needs to something new, something that didn't need alcohol as Aaron already cornered him on the drinking than other night. 

 

“Robert we need to talk about this,” Aaron said as Robert went to open a newly bought bottle of whiskey. 

 

A bottle Robert desperately needed after his latest meeting with John. Turns out Robert was too good of an actor because instead of his jaw being sore and his knees getting bruised. John decided it was time he treated Robert. 

 

“ Golden Boy you deserve a treat for being such a good boy.”  John had said smiling as he lowers himself down into his knees. Joyfully undoing Robert’s belt.

 

That night in the shower Robert scrubbed his cock so hard that he couldn't please but wince a bit when he sat down on the couch. 

 

Robert couldn't help but hate that Aaron had picked tonight of all night to bring up his new drinking habits. However, he just played along 

 

“Talk about what?” Robert asked trying his best to fake confusion when really he knew deep down Aaron was talking about. As It had only been a matter of time before Aaron would want to talk about his drinking and behavior. And it looked like that time had come. It just so happened to be only hours after John gave him a blow job. Just his luck.

 

“This,” Aaron exclaimed pointing to the bottle in Robert’s hand. 

 

“Drinking every night, the weird behavior. This isn't like you, Robert. What is going on? Cause you are not just worrying me you're worrying lots of people that care about you.” 

 

Aaron moved closer Robert removed the bottle from his hand and held it tightly as if he was scared Robert was going to kick off and run away.(Which honestly sounded like some Robert would do.)

 

However Robert did not move, he just released a deep sigh as look down at his held hand. He didn't have the energy to fight, not even when Aaron was so close to the line of truth. Robert didn't want to lie again to Aaron so he told him the truth. 

 

Well a diluted twisted version but still close enough to the truth Robert was willing to get. 

 

“You're right.” Aaron could help but hear how defeated Robert sounded. It was as if he couldn't keep up the act of everything being ok. Sadly that wasn't completely true but Robert knew had to tell Aaron something to put his mind at rest.

 

“I know I haven't been myself lately. I guess after everything we have been through.” 

 

Robert could feel Aaron tighten his grip on his hand. He knew that Aaron still felt really guilty about going to prison. And he didn't mean to remind him. So continued to reassure Aaron that his new behavior wasn't his fault.

 

“I thought I could handle Jo-Mr. Duncan’s account on my own but he's persistent and demanding than I thought. And I guess it's just stressing me out and causing him to worry that he may give us a bad name if I don't meet his goals and do want he wants.”

 

“Ah Robert look I know we’ve been through so much but we’re married. We are a team. You need to tell me if you feel things are getting too much. If you think the  Mr. Duncan is too much hassle I could go to some of the meetings, I mean I know I'm not great at them but-”

 

“NO,” Robert said a little too loudly. Causing Aaron to look at him weirdly. 

 

“Ah no, I can handle  Mr. Duncan but I think I'll just roll back on the Home Farm accounts. I think we could both do with a little less of the White family in our lives.”

 

Aaron couldn't help but laugh but Robert was right less he had to see both Chrissie and Rebecca the better he would feel. Because even though he trusted Robert 100% he still didn't like hearing all the sly comments from the both of them about Robert. 

 

“And the drinking?”

 

“I'll roll back on the drinking as well Aaron. I'm sorry if I caused you to worry.”

 

Robert pulled Aaron into a kiss. It wasn't long before the kiss deepened and began to get heated but Aaron broke the kiss.

 

“Robert I don't thin-”

But Robert cut him off as he knew what he was going to say.

 

“It's ok Aaron, I'm not going to push you. When you feel like you can then we can try. But only when you want.”

 

And Robert meant what he said he knew Aaron still wasn't ready to be that intimate yet. After everything he went through in prison Robert understood Aaron needed time.  But also at the same time, Robert himself didn't feel that he could spend the day with 

 

John doing things that made him feel sick. And then come home to make love to his husband. He may have been a rent boy but he wasn't heartless. 

 

“I love you, Robert,” Aaron said as he leaned against his forehead against Robert’s. He felt so lucky that he had a husband that was so patient and understanding. 

 

“I love you too Aaron.” Which was true no doubt about that it was just himself Robert hated.

 

“Shit,” Aaron exclaimed after his phone when off. Looking at the text he remembered that he had promised Adam darts and a couple of drinks that night. However, he didn't expect to do this “intervention” with Robert tonight. 

 

“It's Adam I promised him drinks, but I can cancel.”

 

“No go, Aaron, I'll be fine.” 

 

“But what about that.” Aaron pointed to the bottle of whiskey. 

 

Robert knew Aaron didn't want to leave him with temptation. No matter how much Robert felt he needed it, he needed his husband to feel secure more even if it was at the expense of his only version of comfort. 

 

“I'll take care of it.” Robert grabbed the bottle, got up and walked over to the kitchen sink. He undid the lid and proceeded to empty the contents down the drain. 

 

And while he knew he was pleasing Aaron all he could do was panic about what he could do next.

 

“ _ Great I can't drink in front of Aaron now. I mean could sneak drink like a teenager but I'm running low on painkiller soon I'll be out and it's not like David’s supply them. I need something different, something I can hide better. But who could help me?”  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooo who can help Robert? haha well, thank you for reading please leave a comment as that fuels me to write faster lol or come talk to me on Tumblr @ghost-online some of you lot have already and I love talking you about this story as well as ranting about the shit SL that's on now.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone!! thank you to everyone who is still reading this lol Special thanks to cait-p, izzymay05 and justlivealietonight for chatting away with me all weekend lol 
> 
> HEY, GUYS GUESS WHOS TURNING 25 NEXT WEEK?...ME!!!! Yes, I'm old hahaha. So while I go cry in the corner please read and enjoy!

Robert couldn't help but notice the slight tremor in his hand.  It had been a week since his little talk with Aaron and Robert now was officially out of painkillers which not only meant he would have withdrawn to deal with but his inner turmoil as well. Which of course would get to the point where it was too and he would break. Then his world would fall apart around him.

 

So while in the pub one night alone, as Aaron was out on an order all day and Robert was off from both work and John. Robert thought quietly to himself staring at his drink, an orange juice laced with vodka unbeknownst to his husband who thought he had gone cold turkey. And was doing really well but in reality that wasn't true. Robert had just carried on in secret because drinking helped kept the worse of the withdraw at bay. 

 

He hated lying to Aaron but out of all the lies, Robert had been telling him so far he thought the drinking was very low on his list of problems. 

 

He tried to think of anyone who would be able to help with his problem. Old names from the past filtered through his mind but only the nicknames as real names were forgotten long ago. And sadly the only real two names he knew popping up from his past were Danny’s and her’s. 

 

He knew that if found her phone number and gave it a call that she would drop everything to help him. She always did. It wouldn't even matter that no words had been spoken between them for years, and he knew it wouldn't matter to her if she hadn’t had any idea what life he was now living, as he knew that she would only care that he was that he was happy and living a different life that he had before. A life she helped create with blood, bruises and broken bones.     


Which is why he knew he couldn't call. Because if she were to know he was back in John’s crutches then all the pain she suffered was for nothing.

 

So decided to focus on Danny or Danny Dealer as he remembered him. A cute(not that Robert really noticed)Irish medical student who sold the best drugs and who was once a good friend to Robert. Till Robert decided to use supplies he bought from Danny to try and end his life. After that, he heard very little from Danny but then again after he met John he heard very little from his friends back then. 

 

He remembered  Danny but it appeared his last name was lost to Robert. Yet he thought he had it written down somewhere along with the other the real names of his past written down in a book, he had kept them for a “just in case” moment like this. But he had gone through all of his stuff that morning and came up with nothing.   
  


Which why he was trying his hardest to remember. He was so lost in his own thoughts he didn't even notice Vic had not only walked over to where he was sitting and was even half way their conversation before she realized he wasn't listening.

 

“Robert!” Vic shouted knocking Robert not only out of his thoughts but nearly causing him to spill his drink.

 

“What!?” Robert replied angrily he wasn't really mad at Vic he was mad at himself. Thankfully she didn't notice the anger in his tone.

 

“I'll say it again since you weren't listening, do you want me to drop off the boxes of your stuff you've left at mine after I finish work tonight? I thought since you're moving into the Mill soon you'll finally have more room for your stuff.” 

 

_ “Of course!!! I only took what I thought was important when moved into the pub! Fucking Idiot! The book must be at Vic! Along with other reminds from my past. Shit!”  _ Robert thought to himself while also internally kicking himself for forgetting such an important detail. As well as being so stupid to have just left the dark secrets of his past the spare room of his baby sister’s house.

 

“How about I sort them out now instead? That why you could just go home after work and put your feet up.” Robert tried to hide the desperation in his voice, he didn't want Aaron to seeing anything he sure as shit didn't want his sister too either. 

 

From the smile slowly creeping upon her face it was clearly the as hard as he tried the desperation was obvious. 

 

“Ooo got some dirty secret you don't want your hubby to know?” Vic was really enjoying seeing her be so desperate. 

 

“You have no idea, Vic.” Which was very true. 

 

“Well as much I would love to see the embarrassing things the great Robert Sugden wants to hide, I would prefer a lovey bubble bath after work instead.”

 

“ _ YES!”  _ Robert yelled in his mind. 

 

“Here.” She said as she handed over her keys.

“You can take as long as you want just hand them back to me when you're done.”

 

“Thanks, Vic,” Robert said smiling before giving his sister a quick hug. 

 

“No problem. Oh, let me have a quick sip of your drink I'm gasping.” 

 

Before Vic could even touch the glass Robert grabbed it and downed it in one. The last thing he need was Vic realizing he hadn't gone off the drink like he had promised Aaron. 

 

Aaron whom he knew had reassured everyone that Robert was on his way to getting back to “normal” but was giving drinking a break for awhile. 

 

If that drink touched her lips she would taste the vodka and all eyes would be back on him and the pressure on him would go up tenfold. 

 

So down his throat, the orange and vodka mixture went. When it was gone he looked at the understandably confused Vic. 

 

“Sorry Vic need all the energy I can get.” Then with that and a shy smile, Robert was out the door. 

 

Vic, on the other hand, was left there confused at what really happened yet she soon just pushed the incident out of her mind. As Aaron had assured not only her but everyone that was worried about Robert that he was going to be ok again. So she just decided to go about her day and get started in the kitchen.

 

Quickly Robert had got the boxes from Vic’s house turns out he had left more boxes there then he remembered and headed to the mill, he thought it would be better to go through the boxes in private rather than have Vic and Adam walk in on him. So he packed the boxes up into his car and made his way to the mill. 

 

When he got there he wasn't shocked to see Ronnie there working away, he was really grateful for all the work he was doing turning the Mill into a house for Aaron and himself. 

 

Why a guy like Ronnie would want to be with a guy like Lawrence, Robert would never know then again he could ask the same question about Aaron being with him.  

 

Ronnie didn't need much convincing when Robert suggested him taking the rest of the day off. Soon he was alone the boxes made their way to the empty living room. Robert hopes the job would be quick and the book would be found in no time. 

 

“This is going to be easy!”

 

Three and half hours later, however, proved a different story. Most of the boxes were empty now embarrassing reminders and treasured mementos of his past covered the floor but no book or even hints of what Danny’s last name could be found.

 

“This is fucking ridiculous!” He exclaimed loudly to himself. He was pass annoyed at this point he was now just pissed off. Even worst pains from withdraw were starting to kick in. He was getting a bad pain in his gut and he couldn't keep his hands steady. He felt like he beginning to spirling. No he knew he was.

 

“FUCK!!” He screamed kicking the last unopened box over, causing the contents to spill across the floor. 

 

Robert was frustrated at the fact he couldn't find the book and at himself for losing it in the first place. He fell to his knees as he finally admitted defeat to himself, he was alone in this and he would just have to deal with the withdraws the best he can. 

 

And thought he knew he tried he hardest to find what he needed that didn't stop tears from forming in his eyes. Slowly began to collect his objects that had flooded the floor from all the boxes. Stopping for short moments to gaze or laugh at items he once cared deeply about. He was almost done with cleaning up his past when he came across an ugly mint green hoodie. 

 

“ _ Oh God, Liv and Aaron would wet themselves if they knew that I wore this.”  _ Robert laughed to himself. He went to throw it back in the box when he felt something in one of the pockets.

 

What he pulled out was something he didn't expect to see. It wasn't the book he was looking for but a small pile of photos. The memory of how he got them flashed before his eyes.

 

“Here.” Syd(his beautiful bruised guardian angel) said as she handed a small package. Slowly he opened the package to find a pile of photos. “It's so that you can always remember me. Not that you couldn't cause you know, I'm amazing.” They both laughed but that didn't stop tears from falling as they knew really that this might be the last time they see one another. 

 

“Oh!” Syd shouted as she wiped her tears.”I also wrote names and blurbs on the backs too so you could alway remember the people in your life and what we did together.” Robert didn't know what to say so he didn't say anything he just pulled Syd into a hug. Syd held Robert so tight he thought he wasn't going to be able to breathe soon but he didn't care cause he knew that this was the last time he was going to hug her. 

“I'm going to miss you,” Syd said you could hear the sadden in her voice. 

 

“I'm going to miss you too Syd.”

 

That was the last time Robert saw his best friend but he never forgot her. Looking through the pictures he could feel tears roll down his face as all the happy time began the flood back. He paused when came across a certain photo. 

It was him and Syd as well as Danny together smiling away. He turned the photo over only for his to jaw drop open because of what was written on the back turned out to be the information he was looking for.

 

“ **Robert aka** **Blondie** (a nickname only Syd called him),  **Sydney Macbride aka** **Syd** **, Danny O'Hanlon aka** **Danny Dealer** **.** ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooo so Robert has out found Danny's last name but even if he could help will he want too? Come talk to me on tumblr @ghost-online, I love talking to you guys. Or leave a comment they are like drugs to me and keep me writting for you guys.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO!! thank you for all the birthday comments I've had a great lazy day. Got some great stuff from my bf and family and my lovely bf even made me a cake. And all comments for you guys really made my day thank you again. So I was going to post this till I was done with chapter 13 but I wanted to show you guys that you lot are the reason I'm even still writing.

Robert couldn’t help but kiss the photo in his hands. Syd must have really been his guardian angel as she manages to help him again without even being there. Quickly he stored his past a hallway closet to be forgotten about all over again(well until Liv probably finds it). He soon made his back to the pub, adrenaline rushing through his system corner acting the effects of the withdraws. He didn’t need anything to help him right now, he was focused, he had a mission.  In a flash, he was in the living room with his laptop in front of him. At first, he thought about just using google but realized Facebook was a better idea. 

 

“ _ Thank god for Facebook _ .” He thought to himself as he began his search. Yes there may be many guys with the same name as Danny but he narrow it down to what age he was now 31 yrs like Robert which meant Syd was now 30 yrs herself.  She was only 24 the last he saw her.

 

“ _ Fuck when did we all get old?” _

 

Still, many guys popped up but not the one he was looking for, so he added where he was from. Not that Robert really remembered the locate off by heart hell he couldn't even remember the last name of a man he once considered a close friend. But he did recall a time they as a group had visited Danny’s hometown in Ireland for his birthday and he had the photo in his hand to prove it. Date and location thankfully provided by the amazing Syd. 

 

“ _ Nope, nope that's not him nope. Come on he has to be on Facebook, everyone is on it!” _

 

Robert was too engrossed in his searching he didn't notice Aaron enter through the pub till he spoke up. 

 

“Please tell me you're not working away on your day off. I thought we talked about this.” Aaron said this with a smile on his face but Robert could hear the underlined worry to it. 

 

“Surprisingly, I'm not working,” Robert replied smiling as he told the truth as it wasn't really it works well not the type work Aaron was thinking. 

The look Aaron shot him showed he didn't really believe him. 

 

“Honestly I'm not, I'm looking up an old friend.” Which was true however he failed to mention his old friend was once his drug dealer and he badly needed his service. 

 

“An old friend?” Aaron said surprised while racing over to look at the screen.  Robert wasn't really shocked by his husband’s reaction. Even Robert knew the idea of him having friends wasn't something that normally popped into people’s minds not even Aaron’s. Now enemies that were something that normally is associated with him. Hell with his history exs would even be more common. But friends? Nope that was something that Robert hasn't really known since he was in his earlier twenties. 

 

He couldn't but find his mind drifting back to that time of his life, yes there were many dark times because of John and his chosen line of work, however there were moments of light in the darkness. And to Robert, those moments of light were any times he spent with Syd and Danny. 

 

The sound of Aaron’s chair screeching bought Robert out of his memories.

 

“So what brought this on?” It was a fair question for Aaron to ask him. Because since he's known Robert has never really talked about old friends. Aaron was sure that Robert, as mean as it was to think it, didn't really have any friends. 

 

“Vic asked if I could move some of the boxes I still had at her’s to the mill. So when I was almost done I knocked one over and found this pictures.”

 

Robert said as he handed the pile over to Aaron who look rather curious at which now laid in his hands. Robert knew Syd wouldn't have included any pictures of John or other clients. However he wasn't sure of which embarrassment of his past awaited in those photos but it was a risk he was willing to take. Aaron looked as if he believed him so he continued tell Aaron his twisted version of what really happened.

 

“Which got me wondering what some of my old friends may now be up too.” Robert watched as Aaron began to flick through there the pictures somewhat nervous of what he may see. Aaron, on the other hand, couldn't help but feel a weird sense of excitement. He of course seen pictures of Robert when he was younger but not in his early twenties and definitely not with friends. 

 

He looked the same. Robert really wasn't kidding when he would say he was cursed to forever look hot. But there was no way Aaron was going to admit it. He laughed a little at the sight of Robert’s hair it was long enough he could tuck it behind his ears. 

 

“Is that Danny?” Aaron asked pointing to a young man with gray eyes with a mop of curly dark hair who had a appears in a few photo often with Robert or a blonde girl. Robert smiled as he looked at the photo. He remembered how close they had once been only to be sadly at the memory of how it ended. 

 

“Yeah that's Danny, he was Irish and would normally try to be the voice of reason.” Which Robert always found funny as Danny was also a drug dealer.

 

“He was studying to be a doctor last time I saw him.” Aaron could see Robert’s face light up as he continued to talk about his old friend.

 

“So why did you two lose touch?” Aaron could see in an instant he had asked a touchy question as Robert’s face drain of light and he made a face which normally did when talking about his father. 

 

“We just did.” The tone of Robert’s voice hinted that he didn't want to go further in his explanation. And Aaron knew him well enough not to push him so he when back to looking at the photos. He couldn't help but smile as he looked at random moments of his husband’s past. To Aaron, Robert looked so carefree and unburdened like he had a bright spark within him. Not that Aaron didn't think Robert had lost that spark far from it. As it was one of the reasons that he knew draw him to Robert in the first place but he could see that it had faded. 

 

_ “I wonder what happened to him. What changed?”  _ Aaron thought to himself as he stared curiously at the photo in his hand while also occasionally glancing at his husband, whose attention seemed to be back on the screen in front of him. 

 

Deciding that it wasn't the right time to ask questions like that as he knew how secretive Robert could be about his time away from Emmerdale. 

 

He turned his attention back to the photos. He continued to smile as he looked through them till he came across one that stopped him dead in his tracks. It was a photo of Robert smiling at the camera with the blonde girl who had already happened in a few photos with Robert. However here she was draped over him kissing his cheek. Aaron turned the photo to found a handwritten note saying.

 

“ **Me & Blondie: Forever SS”**

 

Aaron was sure that blonde girl in the photos must have been a girlfriend of Robert.  _ “ Great another ex I didn't know about.”  _ Aaron thought to himself. 

 

“Hey, Rob I think I found one of your exs. I don't need to worry do I?” Aaron said while nudging Robert playful but really in the back of his mind he was worried that this girl could just be another Rebecca waiting in the shadows. 

 

Robert’s head turned to look at the photo so quickly he could have given himself whiplash. Looking at the photo in Aaron’s hand he soon started laughing. 

 

“Me and Syd? No way!” 

 

Robert continued to laugh only stoping when he noticed the confused look on Aaron’s face.

 

“Syd was my best mate and roommate but never a girlfriend.”

 

“Then what does SS mean?”

 

Robert smiled as he answered. “ S oul  S iblings. Cause we were so close, we often told people we were siblings normally people would believe us till they realized Syd was Scottish or I was English.” 

 

“Oh, yeah you two do look like siblings.” Aaron couldn't help but feel silly with himself. Robert just laughed again she pulled Aaron close to himself. For the first time in awhile, it felt like it uses too before John re-entered his life. 

 

“There! Is that him?” Aaron asked pointing to the screen. For a second Robert wasn't sure what Aaron was talking about, lost in the moment till he looked at the screen. 

 

And there he was Danny O'Hanlon, Doctor Danny O'Hanlon. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Robert found Danny but is he close and will he even help Robert? What happened between them to make them lose touch? who knows? I know but I'm the writer, however I would love


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!!! thank you again for all the lovely comments and kudos! I love hearing all your theories so please tell me more! And enjoy this chapter!

Turned out not only did Danny become a doctor like he always said he would be but his GP was located in Hotten. Maybe it was faith or maybe it was just dumb luck but Robert knew he would have to see him sooner rather than later. 

 

Because as the night went on adrenaline slowly left his system, it had done its job his mission was complete he found who he was searching for. So as the adrenaline left him he felt himself steadily succumb to the symptoms of withdrawal. 

 

He knew what was coming at dinner that night just an hour after finding Danny he saw the tremors in his hands return. As the night progressed he steadily got worse from sweating and dizziness to where the color had gone from his face and his head in the toilet. 

 

As usual, he lied to Aaron saying it must have been something he ate earlier but that wasn't true ether as he couldn't really remember the last time he really ate more than a few bites of something. That's the thing about guilt it keeps you full so you don't need to eat. 

 

Around 3 am he finally managed to keep his stomach from ending up in the toilet and headed to bed. Yet sleep didn't come only nightmares. John touching him and Aaron catching him then throwing Robert out. 

**_“I don't love you anymore Robert, you whore I hate you. GET OUT!”_ **

Played over and over again he didn't know he had started crying in his sleep till Aaron shook him awake. 

 

“ROBERT! ROBERT! WAKE UP YOU'RE ONLY DREAMING.”Aaron screamed as he held Robert close.

 

“You're ok its I'm here.”

 

But Robert knew he wasn't dreaming he was in a living nightmare. When he awoke again after a few hours of sleep his body ached as if he had beat up by Cain Dingle again. Aaron watched him cautiously like a hawk as he descended the stairs to the living room he only to seemed a little relieved when Robert phoned Nicola to tell her he wasn't coming in. He had no idea what she said as Robert just hung up the phone before dropping down onto the couch himself looking like death warmed up. 

 

“God, you look like shit.” Charity commented while seating at the table. 

 

“Thanks for the compliment Charity.” Robert snapped back he knew he looked bad. His skin a sickly pale color with sweat glistening his forehead. Withdrawal was a bitch. 

 

“Maybe I should stay home today as well and look after you?” Aaron asked, ever the caring husband. 

As much as Robert wouldn't have minded be care after by Aaron, he had other plans that day that his husband didn't need to know about. 

 

“No I’ll be ok by myself, go to work.” He sounded terrible but it worked Aaron give him a quick kiss before leaving. Robert waited a few moments before heading back to shower and get ready. As he reached the top of the stairs he heard Charity shout.

 

“Maybe try to leave some hot water for the rest of us!”

 

Robert didn't reply back, he didn't have the energy. A little longer then he wanted(he had to jump out of the shower twice to be sick) he was dressed and almost out the door when.

 

“Where do you think you're going?”

 

“Out Charity.”

 

“I thought you were sick?”

 

_ “Oh, will you just fuck off woman!”  _  Robert thought to himself, he just wanted to go, no he needed to go and Charity of all people was stopping him.

 

“I am sick Charity, but there is something I need to do.” Robert stated before passing past her not waiting to see what she was going to say next. Normally he would be worried that she may tell Aaron but with the way he was feeling at that moment he really didn't give a shit. 

 

By the time he got to his car he felt like there was a marching band playing in his head. It was so bad he found himself having trouble concentrating. 

 

“ _ How the hell am I going to drive if I can't even think straight?” _

 

He tried to calm himself in the hope that would help steady his hands but to no avail. Glancing at his glovebox he remembers he had hidden a small bottle of whiskey for emergencies like this. 

Cautiously he looked around just in case anyone was there might see him and report his failed promise of no drinking to Aaron. Thankfully it appeared to be too early for anyone to be walking around. So quickly he downed half of the small bottle in one go. The alcoholic liquid burned his throat and caused a fit a coughs to emerge. However he soon found the tremors in his hands starting to settle and his blurred vision began to clear. He still had a horrible headache but it was now something he could bare. 

 

“Ok.” He said out loud to himself before releasing a deep sigh. “Let's get going.” 

 

Soon he was out of the village and on his way to Danny’s work. Normally with how important it was to him he would be a bit like a boy racer and drive there as fast as he could but with alcohol, in his system, it would be better to not get pulled over or in another crash. 

 

Robert managed to get half way down Hotten Main Street before that effects of the alcohol started to wear off.

 

“ _ It's not too far away, I can walk from here.”  _ Robert had studied the google map print last night in between his trips to the toilet. The GP where Danny worked wasn't far but he knew finding the place wouldn't really be his biggest issue, it would be getting Danny to help him. He was stupid he remember why they stop being friends, it was his fault and now he couldn't help but feel lower than low at what he was doing.

 

Going to see his former drug dealer friend who was now a doctor in the vain hope of getting drugs to help him. Maybe if Danny couldn't give him drugs he would at least know someone who could. Well, that's what Robert kept telling himself as he walked through the GP doors. 

 

It was quiet not really busy at all. Then again it was only just after 9 so they likely just been open an hour. Slowly Robert walked over to the reception. He could help but feel a weird sense of déjà vun like it was the first time he bought drugs from Danny. However he knew that so many things were different now, he was older, he had so much to lose in case Danny didn't help him. But at the same time if Danny did help him Danny is then pulling himself on the line. He could lose so much more. And as much as Robert wanted to walk away and disrupt Danny’s new life but he just couldn't. 

 

As Robert approached reception he was a bit taken aback by the young twenty-something girl behind the desk. Her hair was a unique blend of greens and blues was a bit of a shock but something about her seemed familiar. Like in a way she reminded him of Liv. God, he missed her so much.

 

“Ah Hello.” 

 

The girl must not have heard him enter the building as she jumped a bit. 

 

“Oh hello, how can I help you?” Robert smiled when he heard the hint of a Scottish accent in her voice. 

 

“Yes, I'm looking for Dan-Doctor Danny O'Hanlon. I'm an old friend of his and would like to talk to him.” Robert knew he was the term old friend loosely but if it got him into Danny’s office then so be it.

 

“Oh, I'm afraid Dr. O'Hanlon is busy and wouldn't be able to see anyone who doesn't have an appointment.”

 

“ _ No!” _ Robert's mind screamed he didn't think of this, he had only planned on coming in and seeing Danny he never thought that he wouldn't be able too.

 

“Is there a way I can have an appointment for some time today?” Robert said quickly thinking on his feet, feeling quite proud pleased with himself. However, that feeling didn't last long when he looked at the receptionist's face. It didn't look hopeful.

 

“I'm sorry but if you wanted to make an emergency appointment you would need to call first thing this morning. And with how busy we’ve been lastly the earliest appointment I can give you is next week.”

 

“ _ Next week!!! I don't think I can make it until next week.”  _

 

Robert could feel his pulse race with panic he knew for a fact that he wasn't going to last until next week especially if he had to see John. If he couldn't see Danny he would just have to find another way to cope. How he wasn't sure but as he made his way back out the door when the receptionist shouted after him.

 

“Wait!”

 

Maybe she could sense Robert’s panic or maybe she could just see it on his face or maybe she just felt sorry for him. 

 

“If you want to talk to Dr. O'Hanlon he likes to have a quick cigarette behind the build so that patients can't see. He's there now.”

 

Robert felt like Lady Luck was back on his side. 

 

“Thank you.”

 

As he turned to leave he stopped and turned back to the young girl. Not really sure why he wanted to ask but felt like he needs to.

 

“Sorry to ask but are you from Scotland?”

 

She smiled back at him before asking.

 

“Yes, Oban, why have you been?”

 

“No, you just reminded me of a friend.” Then Robert made his way out the door. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Danny is so close!!! but how is he feel about seeing Robert you'll just have to wait and see!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHAT!! TWO CHAPTERS IN ONE DAY?!?! That's right! Cause I'm in a really good and cause I want to know what you lot think! ENJOY!!!

It didn't take long for Robert to find Danny, he was the only other person behind the building beside Robert himself. Danny had his back to Robert but Robert could tell it was him even if he did now dress better and his hair appeared to be tamed he was still the same Danny Dealer to Robert. 

 

“Hey, Danny.”

 

The way Danny spun around so fast you could have sworn he heard a ghost. In a way, he did the ghost of friend past. Back to now haunt his present. 

 

“Fuck me.” Danny muffled cigarette still between his lips. 

 

“You know you shouldn't be smoking if you're a doctor.” Robert joked trying to break the tension. It didn't wrong. 

 

“How the fuck did you find me, Robert?”

 

“Ah, Facebook and your receptionist.” 

 

Danny was clearly pissed that his receptionist told Robert where he hides to have a break. He removed the cigarette from his mouth.

 

“Well, Dionne shouldn't tell strangers where I am.”

That comment hurt Robert but he knew he deserved it.

 

“I know but I needed to talk-” Danny cut Robert off not really even listening in the first place 

 

“And why are you stalking me now Robert? Did you want to take a walk down memory lane? If so let me jog your memory it goes along the line of you making me feel like shut about myself, our best mate in the hospital because of your bad choices and ending with you heading off into the sunset never to be heard of again.”

 

“I know but Danny I need your help.”

 

“Oh yeah and how on earth can I help you?” Danny asked before taking a puff of his cigarette. Then it clicks. He looks at Robert, really looks at him. 

 

“Oh you have to be fucking joking, you want drugs?” 

 

Robert doesn't say anything but his silences answered Danny’s question for him. 

 

“I'm a fucking Doctor now Robert I don't do that shit anymore for fuck sake. And even if I did what in God's name makes you think I would give anything to you? I'd ask if you were high but I can clearly see that you're going through withdrawal cause I'm a fucking doctor!”

 

Robert didn't say anything, he didn't know what to say he hadn't really planned this far. He needs help, he wants to tell Danny why he's really there, that John was back and the things John was making him do were causing him to break. But he couldn't get the words out. 

 

He can feel the tears threatening to fall. Yet he felt like he couldn't be weak even if it could help his case. Robert just sighed and ran his hand over his face. It was then Danny show the ring on Robert's hand and began to laugh. 

 

“So is that you want to use again? Any escape from your boring married life? Am I right? TELL ME!”

 

“I WANT TO USE TO SURVIVE!” Robert screamed tears now flowing but he didn't care he needed Danny to understand. 

 

“What?” Danny asked confused by Robert.

 

“I want to use so that I don't feel like breaking every time my wonderful husband tells me that he loves me. I want to use so that I can stop feeling like I need to tear off any part of my skin that monster has tainted with his touch. I want to use to stop myself from feeling like I want to die a little less.” 

 

Danny didn't know what to say he could see the vulnerability in Robert’s eyes. 

 

“That's why I want to use Danny so that I can make it to the end of the day in one piece.” 

 

Danny threw his cigarette on the ground not caring about it anymore and moved cautiously over to Robert who was almost shaking. 

 

“Robert, what monster?” Danny asked but in the back of his mind, he feared he already knew the answer. 

 

“John,” Robert said sniffling. “He is back.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOOOOOOO........what did you think? please tell me in the comments below or if you want to chat to me I love to hear from you. You can message me on Tumblr @ghost-online


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!! thank you for all the wonderful comments honestly it really means a lot me to hear from you guys and know that you like where the story is going! Btw my bf thinks our new flat is haunted just thought you lot should know lol

Danny could feel the color drained from his face. He couldn't have heard Robert right. He must have misheard him. That's what he told himself anyway.

 

“What?” Danny asked so quietly it was almost a whisper. 

 

“He is back, John. The bastard is back.” Strangely Robert felt a weight lift off him as he told Danny the true. Hell, it was probably the first time in a long time he told someone the truth.

 

“How Robert? How did he find you?” Robert could hear the concern in Danny’s voice. He couldn't help but let out a small laugh as only seconds Danny was angry and swearing at him.

 

“My coworker arranged a meeting.”

 

“What?” Danny asked confused 

 

“It was an accident my co-worker thought she arranged a meeting with a new client which turned out to be him for the scrap yard business I'm an investor in as we are alway-”

 

“Ok Rob I get in you're a businessman now and that your co-worker mistakenly arranged a meeting between you and that fucking bastard. What happened next?”

 

“What do you think?” Robert said sounding defeated. Before he continued he laid his back against the building. He felt like needed something to keep him from falling to the ground.

 

“I woke the next day I had been drugged and raped.”

 

“Why did you report him to the police Rob? Why did you let him sink his claws into you again?”

 

“I was going too after I found out his real name which guess what is really John I was going to report him to the police. But he said if I did that he would tell every one of my past. What I use to do.”

 

Danny ran his fingers through his hair trying to take in everything he was hearing. “So? You should have still gone to the police Rob, who cares if he tell anyone what he did to you is way worst.”

 

Robert shook his head. “No, because I would lose everything.”

 

“Rob you don't know that your family would understand.”

 

“For fuck sake Danny! This isn't that pretty woman movie this is real life and in the end, the hooker doesn't get the happy ending they end up alone.”

 

“So you've been doing what John wants again.”

 

Robert just nodded not really wanting to go into any more details.

 

“Have you told Syd?” 

 

“NO!” Robert yelled. “I don't have any way of contacting her and if I did I wouldn't tell her.”

 

“Robert she would want to help. She did before.” 

 

“Yeah, and John beat her up so badly she ended up in the hospital. I can't tell her all the pain she went through was for nothing. Please, Danny, you're the only one I have left.”

 

“Robert last time I gave you drugs you used them to try and kill yourself. Then after promising me, you would never do drugs again I found out you were buying from a guy who I warned you the stuff wasn't pure! I felt like I lost a brother, Robert, you weren't you anymore. And now six years last you turn to me for help? I don't know.”

 

Danny turned away from Robert tears threatening to fall if he stared at his lost friend a second longer.

 

“Please, Danny!” Robert sobbed unable to control his emotions anymore. “ If you don't help I don't think I'll make to the end of the month, I lose everything, my husband, my daughter, my life!”

 

Robert couldn't speak anymore words were replaced by the sounds of tears. 

 

_ I will regret this tomorrow but fuck it!”  _  Danny thought to himself before grabbing Robert and pulling him into a strong hug. Both men fell to their knees still enveloped in each other's arms. It wasn't a hug of passion or romance it was deeper than that it was the hug of two lost brothers finding one another again. 

 

“I will help you, Robert, I couldn't before but I will now.” Danny whispered into Robert’s ear. Robert pulled away to look at him to see if he was really serious. When could see he was telling the truth he felt safe.

 

“Thank you, Danny.” Robert as he let go of Danny and began to make his way onto his feet.

 

“Now Robert there are going to be some rules ok.” 

 

Robert just nodded not caring about the rules he was just happy he was getting some help. 

 

“Now I don't know about you but before we get down to business I need another cigarette.” Danny said with a bit of a smile on his face which made Robert feel like everything was going to not get better but easier. 

 

“You want one?” Danny asked holding out the cigarette packet to Robert. 

 

“Fuck it.” Robert exclaimed before taking the packet and popping one of the few cigarette left in his mouth. Danny helped light it. Robert coughed at first as it had been years since he last smoke(Chrissie hated the smell) but sound the familiar tobacco taste filled his lungs and he could feel himself relax. The two of them stood there in silence till Danny decided it was time to break it. He couldn't help but ask he had always been curious by nature. 

 

And the fact that last time he saw Robert the man would claim he was only gay for pay. So now six years later proudly saying he had a husband was a fact too juicy for Danny to ignore.

 

“So a husband then?” Robert could hear the childlike glee in Danny’s voice. 

 

“Yeah, his name is Aaron.” Robert answered with a soft smile on his face. He pulled out his phone to show Danny the picture of Aaron and Liv he had as his background.

 

“Aye, he's a good looking guy Robert."

"Thanks, I'm a really lucky man."

 

“So does that mean your-”

He couldn't be mad at Danny for asking last time he saw him Robert was still saying he was straight and only attached to men if they were clients

“Bi, I'm bisexual Danny.” Robert answered Danny before he even finished the question. 

 

“Do you love him? Does he make you happy?” Danny asked as that's the only thing that he felt really matter in a relationship, not the sex of the person but the fact you just love them and are happy together. 

 

“Yes and Yes Danny. Which is why Aaron can never know about my past and John.” 

Danny nodded taking another puff of his cigarette.

 

“So Danny what about you? Anyone special?”

 

“Nope, well I was married by it didn't work out.” 

 

“Shit Danny sorry about that.”

 

“Aye it's ok we were more in lust than love, plus I think I still have a thing for a certain blonde.”

 

Robert smiled knowing who Danny was talking about but couldn't help himself. “Ah, Danny I'm married.” 

 

“Fuck off.” Danny said laughing Robert laughed a bit too happy he could still make his old friend smile but he couldn’t stop himself from asking. 

 

“Are you still in touch with Syd?” Danny was quiet for a bit longer than normal.

 

“No, however, I did find the same way of how you found me I found she facebook just don’t have the balls to make contact. But she looks good, she looks happy.” Danny smiled thinking of the pictures he had seen of Syd. She had changed a bit but to him, she still was his Syd. 

 

“That’s why she can't know Danny.” 

 

“I know Rob but if I think things are getting too much like before or I think you really need help Robert I'm calling her.”

 

“Ok.” Robert said agreeing to the terms he wasn't too happy about them but if it got Danny to help him then so be it.

 

“Plus if anything did happen to you and Syd finds out I didn't tell her, Woo I don't know about you but I found her to be a bit scary when mad.” Both men burst into laughter remember all the time they had seen Syd angry and yup she was scary but damn she came out some brilliant only one liners. 

 

As Danny laughed in a weird way he enjoyed having his mate back. But he remembers what needed to be done. “Right come on mate it's time to get to work.” Danny said flicked his cigarette to the ground. “I've got a special patient to deal with.” 

 

Robert felt a mixture of confusion and panic. “I thought you said you would help me?” 

 

Danny looked at him as if he had told the sky was green. “I am you, idiot.”

 

“But?” Robert muttered still confused. Danny sighed feeling a bit frustrated that Robert really wasn't getting it.

 

“I'm not just going to give you random drugs that may tie you over for now but you'll just end up abusing later. 

 No I'm not a drug dealer anymore I'm a doctor so you're going to come inside tell me how you're feeling again then I'm going diagnosis you and prescribe you something that can really help you, Robert.

 Because at the end of the day if we are going to do this we are doing it right.”

 

As much as Robert wanted to argue with Danny he was right. Robert threw his cigarette onto the ground ready to get started. 

“Alright, lead the way Dr. O'Hanlon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAY! Danny is going to help! But you there is always something around the corner. Please leave a comment to tell what you think or how I can convince my bf the flat isn't haunted lol Or you want to talk to me, get mini previews or tell me your theories you can find me on Tumblr @ghost-online


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!! As always thank you for all the lovely comments and kudos. I'm so glad you all like Danny. Bf still thinks that flat is haunted I'm not too sure lol I hope you all enjoy this chapter btw I'm not a doctor so any drugs mentioned I made up lol

Both men re-entered the building, Danny leading the way with Robert not far behind. Robert couldn’t help but notice that Danny had an air of confidences about him. The type of confidences only a doctor could have.  Robert, on the other hand,  seemed shy and scared like a lost puppy worried about being kicked.  
  
“Dionne could you please cancel all my appointments today as something very important has come up.  And if there are any really urgent appointments today just transfer them to Dr. Matthew.” Dionne just nodded and began making phone calls.  
  
“Could come this way with me, Mr. Sugden.” Robert was surprised by how forceful and in control, Danny sounded like he was able to solve any problem    
  
Suddenly Robert felt like he was a small child again, he never really like doctors it didn’t even matter at that time it was his mate. He still felt like the young boy he once was who use to cling to his mother. Sadly his mother wasn’t there to calm him down and tell him everything was going to be ok but he could see that message in Danny’s eyes as he lead Robert into a small room.  Both men entered the room Danny closed the door behind him before sitting at his desk while Robert sat in the chair next to it.  
  
“Alright, Robert I want you to go over everything you are feeling again. And I want you to tell me everything that happened to you as well. Don’t leave anything out.”  
  
Robert just nodded sighed and started from the beginning. He told Danny everything from the first met in the bar to the latest encounter he even showed Danny the bite mark forever scarred on his skin. Danny didn’t say anything, he looked like  professional. However Danny inside was screaming ,so mad that his friend was go through all of this again yet he repeated reminded himself that this time was going to be different.  
  
“ _This time is different he’s not alone he has me_.”  Yet Danny was worried that may not be enough but for now, it would be.  
  
Robert felt sick to his stomach not sure if it was because he was telling  Danny all that had happened to him or because the alcohol had left his system and withdrawal was crawling its way back through his body. Either way by the end of him talking he was sick in Danny’s bin.      
  
“Sorry,” Robert mumbled as he wiped his mouth feeling very embarrassed.  
  
“Nah mate it's alright surprisingly you are not the first person to be sick in my bin.”  Hearing that made Robert smile.  
  
“OK, Robert from what you’ve told me I’m going to prescribe you a drug called Torpens. It's going to help you feel you're like more in control and less unbalanced. Though patients have described them feeling almost numb after taking it. Is that alright.”

 

Robert just nodded unsure of what to say. Yet he felt relieved he was going to be in control of himself again.

 

“Ok then now Robert like all drugs there are some side effects.”

 

“Like?”   
  
“Dry mouth, mild headaches but you take ibuprofen while on this drug. Also insomnia.”

 

“ _ As if I slept now anyway.”  _ Robert thought to himself as he listened to Danny.

 

“And you may find you have a loss of appetite,” 

 

Robert couldn't help but glanced down at his soft stomach he knew his husband loved but lately he found himself hating it. He knew he only really started hating it when John poked him. 

 

“ _Maybe_ _cutting back may be a good thing.”_

 

Danny printed off the prescription and was about to hand it to Robert when he stopped.

 

“Rob, how long have you been going through withdrawal?”

 

Danny couldn't help notice how Robert had a sheepish like a small child being caught doing something he wasn't meant to.

 

“I haven't really, I've been drinking to counteract the effects.”

 

Danny couldn't help but be disappointed in his mate. What he was doing was dangerous. 

 

“Well you can't take Torpens while you're going through withdrawal it won't help you.”

 

“So what am I going to do?”

 

Danny was quiet for a moment thinking about what they could do now. Then the penny drop!

“ _ Fucking idiot how could you forget that!?”  _ Danny began to look through his desk before it appeared he found what he was looking for a little packet that contained two clear pills.

 

“What's that?” Robert asked having never seen a pill look like that before. 

 

“This my friend is Secessio, a drug that can help you go through withdrawal in three days.”

 

“I've never heard of it.”

 

“It's normally they are only prescribed in extreme cases I think this counts.” Danny said with a smile. 

Robert emptied the little packet into his hand. He knew he needed to do this not only for Aaron and Liv but for himself. It wasn't till he looked back did he realized Danny was holding a cup of water for him to drink with the pills. 

 

Robert took the cup and then quickly popped the two pills into his mouth and with the help of the water swallowed them.

 

“Thanks for this Danny.”

 

“Well, I wouldn't be thanking me just yet those pills speed up the withdrawal process which sadly means for the next two to three days you are going to be as sick as a dog.”

 

“Is that what your patients tell you?”

 

“No from personal experience mate.”

 

Robert couldn't help but be shocked by that admission.

 

“What? How can you be shocked? I use to be a drug dealer who didn't really follow the whole don't try your own supplies rule.”

 

Robert didn't know what to say but he knew Danny was right. As there were many times Danny and him use to get high together.

 

“Now give me your keys Rob.”

 

“What? Why?” Robert asked while he handed his keys over to Danny

 

“Cause when those pills kick in soon you wouldn't be able to walk let alone drive. Please give me a chance see where Robo is now living.” Danny said while moving towards the door. Robert smiled as he followed Danny out the door.

 

“Don't call me Robo.”

 

Soon Robert was following Danny out of the building he quickly saw a flash of confusion on the face of Dionne as they passed her on their way out the door but she didn't say anything. Not long after they were on their way to Robert’s car.

 

“There is it.” Robert said pointing out his car to Danny.

 

“Are you joking? Danny asked not believing that the car in front of him was Robert’s.

 

“No why?” 

 

“Why on earth would giraffe like you get a Porsche this low?

 

“Shut up and unlock the doors.”

 

After laughing at Robert again Danny unlocked and both men were off. Before long they were at the pharmacy. Danny insisted he'd be the one to get Robert’s drug no matter how much Robert stated he could get them himself. 

 

He felt like an idiot waiting in the car for Danny however shortly after Danny enter the pharmacy Robert could feel a small pain in his stomach. 

 

And the longer Danny was in the pharmacy the more the pain grew in his stomach. By the time Danny came back not only was the pain more intense but the marching band had returned in his head only this time they brought a tank too.

 

“Here you go mate” Danny said after he settled back into the car handing a bag over to Robert. Robert just nodded. 

 

“You ok Robert?

 

“Yea.” Robert replied but Danny knew he was lying. But didn't push him.

 

“Oh, I got you this too.” Danny sheepishly as he handed a small bottle over to Robert.

He looked down at the small bottle filled with blue pills.

 

“Wh-”

 

“Viagra.” Danny answered before Robert even finished his question. Before Robert had a chance to protects Danny continued.

 

“From what I remembered about that bastard, he didn't get too happy when you weren't as excited as he was.”

 

Robert knew Danny was right.

 

“Thanks.”  

 

They continued their journey in silence. By the time they got to Emmerdale Robert felt sick to his stomach with sweat dripping down his back. 

 

“Just the pub there.”

 

Slowly Danny parked the car and drop out not even giving Robert to see if anyone he know (Aaron) was around.

 

_ “Fuck fake Danny.”  _ Robert as he followed Danny. However, before he could say anything Robert double over due to the pain in his stomach. Thankfully Danny was quick to his side helping he stand back up. 

 

“Well, you really don't change do you?” A voice echoed behind them. As they turned to look Robert couldn't help but roll his eyes.

 

“Fuck Chrissie.” Robert whispered. 

 

“Bored with Aaron already?” Chrissie asked with a smug look on her face but Robert didn't have the energy to argue with her so he just walked to the back of the pub with Danny not far behind a bit confused with what just happened.

 

Unbeknownst to the two men sneaking through the back entrance of the pub Aaron was in the pub too no idea of what was going on.

 

Aaron was a mixture of angry and worried. He came home to find his sick husband missing only to be told by Charity that Robert left moments after he did. He had tried to call Robert but it turned out he had left his phone. That worried Aaron as Robert practically had his phone glued to him. 

 

After a few pints that worried was changing to angry. 

 

“Where the hell could he be?” Aaron exclaimed to Adam. 

 

“Mate I don't know, but don't sweat it.” Adam said trying to calm down his friend. Which might have worked if Chrissie hadn't walked in.

 

“I knew he couldn't faithful, not even to you.” Chrissie said as she walked over to Aaron.

 

“What are you on about?” Aaron asked confused and annoyed.

 

“Robert, I just saw him with another man coming in through the back. Guess he didn't think you would be home.”  

 

“What?!” Aaron said before rushing through the back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn you, Chrissie! lol btw is anyone else getting really annoyed with the current SL cause I'm at the point I want to slap Vic. Anyway, what did you think? please tell me below or come talk to me on Tumblr @ghost-online


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!! As always thank you for the comments as well as the messages on Tumblr they keep me going. And they must be working as this is my longest chapter! So what is Aaron going to do with Danny? First reading, find out and enjoy!

As Aaron ascended the stairs he couldn't help but fear what Chrissie said was true. He wouldn't deny the fact that yes in the past he was worried about Robert cheating on him with women but it never acrossed his mind that Robert could cheat on him with other men. 

 

When he got to their bedroom chills ran down his spin as he could hear Robert with another man.

 

“Ow, what are you doing?”

 

“I'm trying to help you.”

 

“Really cause you seem a bit eager, I thought I wasn't the blond you want.” Aaron then heard Robert laugh causing him to feel sick. 

 

“Well this really isn't the first time I've gotten you in bed now is it Robert?” Followed by more laughing.  That was the last straw for Aaron. 

 

“WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE!” Aaron screamed as he entered the room instead of finding Robert in the arms of the stranger he heard. There was Robert sitting on the bed with the stranger on his knee appearing to help Robert with his shoes. 

 

A clearly shocked Robert jumped to his feet yet before could answer his very pissed off husband he felt himself turn a shade of green. 

 

Feeling like his stomach was going to explode Robert ran pass Aaron to the bathroom to violently emptying his stomach into the toilet.  Normally, Aaron would be worried about Robert having never heard him be that sick before but all he could see was red. 

 

_ “Robert was about to cheat on me.”  _ That's all Aaron could think even though it didn't look that when went he entered however a few pints had dumb down his rational side of thinking. Aaron grabbed the stranger in his room and pinned him against the wall. 

 

“Listen mate I think you've got the wrong end of the stick here.” Danny tried to be as calm as he could as he could see that rage in Aaron’s eyes.

 

“Oh really? Cause it looked like you had your hands all over my husband!” It didn't matter it Aaron that the scene he walked in on didn't seem sexual all Aaron could see was red.

 

“I was just helping him with his shoes!” Which was true Danny didn't understand why Aaron didn't get that. 

 

“IN OUR ROOM!”

 

“Well, I wouldn't be a good friend if I just left him!” Danny shouted back feeling himself starting to get pissed off.

“Robert doesn't have any friends!” Aaron normally hated the fact Robert didn't have anyone he could call a friend but right now it worked in Aaron’s favor. 

 

“AYE HE DOES, ME!” Danny exclaimed as he shoved Aaron off of him. 

 

“Now listen Aaron you need to calm the fuck down and let me explain!”

 

Hearing this man he didn't know in his room say his name stopped him in his tracks.

“ _ How does he know my name?”  _ Aaron thought to himself.

 

Danny ran his hands over his hands trying to calm himself as best as he could.

 

“My name is Dr. Daniel O'Hanlon but you can call me Danny. I'm an old friend of Robert’s.

 

Aaron was confused as he looks at the man standing in front of him more and the more he thought of his name did it finally clicked in his mind.

 

_ “Danny O'Hanlon! The guy from the pictures last night!”  _ Aaron thought to himself shocked.

 

Danny could see in Aaron’s eyes that the penny had dropped. 

 

“It's nice to meet you Aaron sadly I had pictured it.” Danny said extending his hand to Aaron nervously. 

 

“What the fuck is going on here?” Aaron asked again more confused and less angry. Not bothering to shake Danny extended hand.  

 

“Listen Robert messaged me on Facebook last night.”

 

_ “I don't remember seeing Robert message him last night? But maybe he did when I was busy upstairs.”  _ Aaron thought to himself.

 

Danny could see so far that his lie was working so far so he took a chance and continued hopping Aaron would believe him.

 

“And I've just gone through a divorce which got me thinking about the past and the good days. So I saw Robert messaging after all these years as a sign to meet up and get on with life. But when we did meet up I could see how sick he was but Robert kept saying he was fine over and over. Till he was almost sick on my shoes, I decided he was in no fit state to drive himself home so I volunteered. Then well you know what happened next.”

 

Danny couldn't help but be totally surprised with himself. He was never good at lying but he knew Aaron couldn't know the real reason why Robert met up with him. As Danny looked at Aaron he could see that split second of doubt flash across Aaron’s face and Danny was sure Aaron didn't believe him. Cause why would he really? Danny was a stranger as from Aaron knew. 

 

“ _ Shit! Please believe me cause I can't tell you the truth. Cause how can I really tell you your husband came to me for drugs. Because he has to deal with a former client. Cause oh yeah! Your husband use to be a rent boy! OH GOD BELIEVE ME!”  _ Danny screamed in his mind. But Aaron face softened, the rage in his eyes disappeared. Aaron believed Danny. 

 

“Listen mate, Danny I'm sorry. I thought something was going on. Robert had been acting a bit off and as bad as it sounds but Robert doesn't really have any mates around here. So seeing you here I jumped to the wrong idea. I'm really sorry about that.” Aaron couldn't help but feel embarrassed he had not only had an ass of himself but he had assaulted the only friend Robert seems to have. 

 

Danny, on the other hand, could believe what he was hearing, Aaron actually believed him.

 

“Ah, no mate it's alright. I totally understand why you thought what you thought but I can ensure you Robert isn't my type. He's too English and a man.”  Aaron laughed he was happy that Danny wasn't annoyed with him and he was kind of happy Danny was also straight. 

 

“Aaron I can explain!” Robert exclaimed as he appeared in the doorway looking like death warmed up.

 

“It's alright Robert I explained everything.” Danny replied to a slight confused Robert. “I'm the one who pushed who to meet up with me, you know after you messaged me on Facebook. And after you were almost sick on my shoes gave you a lift home. And we'll you know the rest.” 

 

Robert still looked confused till Danny shot him a look that basically screamed  go with it you idiot!

 

“Oh yeah. Look, Aaron, I'm so sorry I didn't think you were home yet. I thought could get home before you cause I knew you would be pissed at me for leaving being sick.”

 

“You're right I am pissed.” Aaron replied to Robert who looked ashamed(and still very sick)

 

“But I understand however you need to go to bed.”

Robert was about to protest when Danny jumped in. 

 

“Aaron is right mate. You're clearly suffering from a bad case of food poisoning and it's only going to get worse before it gets better.” 

 

Robert knew both men were right he felt like shit and from what Danny had told him earlier he was going to get worst before he got better.

 

“Ok, but I'll show Danny out first.”

 

“No I will, plus I think I owe him a pint after pinning him against a wall.” Aaron said still a bit embarrassed. 

 

“I think I could do with a pint.” Danny said smiling. 

 

Aaron was happy Danny was taking him up on his offer and made his way back down the stairs. As Danny was passing Robert, Robert quickly grabbed Danny and pulled him close.

 

“Thank you.” 

 

“No problem Rob, now rest you're going to need it.”

 

Aaron leaded Danny to the pub once he was down the stairs. All eyes were on them when they were in the pub they must have heard the yelling both men thought.  Thankfully though Chrissie had left. Must have though she had done enough.

 

“Two pints Charity.” Aaron said as he leaned against the bar. Adam quickly walked over to while still looking at Danny strangely. 

 

“Aaron is everything ok?”

 

“Yeah just a misunderstanding, Adam this is Danny an old mate of Robert.”

 

“Wait a mate? As in a real friend?” Adam asked totally shocked at the idea of Robert Sugden actually had friends.

 

“Jesus, is really Robert that unpopular here?” Danny asked not happy that it seems surprising Robert would have friends. No answered his question but their silence spoke volumes. 

 

As the evening went on a pint turned into a few with Danny sharing stories to Aaron and Adam and even eventually Vic about Robert’s time in London with him and Syd(of course he left out the drugs and clients). 

 

“Listen, lads, this has been great but I really should be heading off. You know any taxi places?” Danny asked. As if by faith Pete walked in.

 

“Hey, Pete do you mind giving Robert’s mate a lift home?” Aaron asked hopefully Pete would say yes.

 

“Robert’s mate? Ah yeah sure let me just go to the restroom first.”

 

“Thanks.” Danny said though he was still not happy about people looking like he was something out of a movie when described as  Robert’s mate.

 

“Oh, Aaron here is Robert’s car keys you need to tell that husband of your to get a higher car. Felt like I was trying to get out of a clown car.”

 

Aaron laughed.”I've already tried.”

 

“Also Aaron I'm sorry about earlier upstairs but honestly you have to Robert love you and our daughter with all his heart.”

 

“What daughter?” Aaron asked confused he didn't know where Danny got the idea of them having a daughter.

 

“The girl with brown hair and a pony tail.” 

 

Aaron was still confused till it clicked.” _ Liv he's talked about Liv. Had Robert told Danny she was his daughter.”  _ But Aaron could ask Pete appeared. “Ready to go?”

 

“Yeah, here is my card Aaron incase you think Robert is getting worse but I wouldn't worry too much he may seem out of it for the next few hours but he sure be back to normal in two to three days. Just make sure he drinks plenty of fluids. It was good to meet you Aaron” And after that Danny followed Pete out to his taxi praying he had done the right thing that day and he wouldn't regret it too much in the morning. 

 

Aaron watched Danny leave before he also said his goodnight to Adam and Vic and headed through the back. He kept thinking of what Danny said. “ _ Maybe he just saw the picture and assumed.” _ Realizing it was late and needed to check on Robert Aaron decided it was time for bed. 

 

After quickly heading the stairs, he creeped into their bedroom he could see Robert was fast asleep so he tried his best to change as quietly as he could but the few pints he had earlier worked against him now. As he lose he balanced by tripping on his own jeans. Next thing he knew he found himself on their bedroom. 

 

“Fuck.” Aaron said as he picked himself up praying Robert was in too deep of sleep to have heard him. However, a voice in the dark dashed his hopes. 

“Aaron?” Robert sounded so weakly and unlike himself, it almost broke Aaron’s heart.

 

“Yea, it's me sorry if I woke you.”

 

“No I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry.” Robert said as he began to cry. Aaron rushed to his husband’s side forgetting about changing. And slide into bed in just a shirt and boxers. Yet Aaron didn't care as Robert clearly needed him as his crying became sobbing. 

 

“Hey, hey shh it's ok, what brought this on?” Aaron asked as he held Robert close. He couldn't help be notice that Robert was shaking causing Aaron to pull Robert closer.  _ “He must really be sick.”  _ Aaron thought to himself as he tried to calm his poorly husband.

 

“I'm just so sorry, I love you so much, Aaron. I can't lose you.”

Aaron assumed Robert was so emotional due to a combination of illness and nightmare. Aaron had no idea of the deep-rooted true there behind Robert’s tears.

 

“It's ok Robert I'm not going anywhere. I love you too and you will never lose me.”

 

“You promise?” Robert asked wiping his tears sounding almost a small child.

 

“I promise.” 

 

Aaron words gave Robert hope as he slipped back into a slumber that if the truth were to get out Aaron would stand by him and even though that the truth should be told as soon as he woke again. 

 

However, in the light of the hash morning, he knew better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOOOO....What did you think? did you like or hate please tell me in the comments down below. Or if you want to talk to me you can find me on Tumblr @ghost-online


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO!! as always that you for all the lovely comments and kudos they are like my drugs so keep them coming lol. I've been away on a small break so I haven't done much writing but after the week we in the fandom have had I thought I post a wee chapter for you guys. Also, I wanted to let you know that despite what happening on the show as well as my bf telling me I should stop(he is not a fanfic fan lol) I will not stop this story.

 

As much as Aaron wanted to stay home to look after Robert they both need they could only really afford one of them to be off work for a bit but Robert promised not to leave for any secret meetings(though it wasn't like he had the energy to leave even if he wanted too). 

 

Yet that didn't stop Aaron from calling to check up on him every few moments however it got to the point where Charity said:  “If you call one more I will come down there and stick that phone where the sun don't shine!”

 

It's was around noon the day had been strangely slow both Adam and Aaron were sitting about the port-a-cabin. Adam played with a stress he nicked from Nicola’s desk while Aaron stared at his phone.

 

“You know if you do call Charity will kill you.” Adam said laughing.

 

“I know but I'm just worried. Robert doesn't get sick like this often.” 

 

“Listen I know you are mate but Vic is working today so I know she's going to be checking on Robert every two seconds. Plus his doctor friend said he would be good in a few days” 

 

Aaron knew Adam was right and that he should worry too much. 

 

“How bad is he anyway?” Adam asked as he only knew Robert had a bad case of food poison.

 

“He keeps throwing up, shaking and sweating. He’s really bad.”

 

“God he sound like Holly when she went through withdrawal.” Adam said sadden hinted in his voice brought on by the thought of his late sister.

 

“Withdrawal? Robert wouldn't do drugs, it's more likely he's going withdrawal cause he's not working as much as he uses too.”  Aaron replied hoping to bring a smile to his friend’s face. It worked.

 

“Yeah, that seems way more believable. I bet if you brought home paperwork for him to do he would be as right as rain.”

 

Both men began to laugh at the idea of work being Robert’s cure. 

 

***Knock knock*** The knocking at the door ended their laughing. Aaron got up to answer the door confused at who it could be as they didn't really have any jobs in today and weren't expecting anyone. 

When he opens the door he's surprised to see it's Mr. Duncan, or John as he preferred to call. 

 

“Alright Boys” John says as he steps into port-a-cabin. All dressed up as if he was there for a meeting which worried Aaron.” _ Shit was he meant to have a meeting with Robert today.”  _ Aaron thought to himself.

 

_ “ _ Oh is Golden Boy not here today?” John asked curiously wondering if his favorite plaything was trying to hide from him again. 

 

Aaron, on the other hand, smiled having forgotten the nickname Mr. Dun- no  John had given his husband. 

 

“Oh no he’s really sick at the moment, can barely get out of bed.”

 

“Oh, that's a shame.” John said disappointedly as he wasn't going to see Robert’s pearly white teeth bite down on the ball gag he had waiting for him in his briefcase. 

 

“Did you have a meeting with him?” Adam asked thinking either Nicola or Robert forgot to write it down in the planner.

 

“No, I just found some work I thought Robert could help me with, you know stuff he could really sink his teeth into.”

 

“Anything we could help you with?” Aaron asked as they weren't really busy. Plus he thought if he helped now it would mean less stress for Robert in the future. 

 

John thought about for a minute and as much as he wouldn't mind Aaron on his knees with his lips awaiting John’s cock. Or young Adam bent over the desk ready for John special kind of service. But no. As fun as both ideas would be it was his golden boy he truly wanted.

 

“No, you're alright I wouldn't want to stop you two from getting away earlier. Plus it's nothing that couldn't wait for Robert till I get back from my business trip.” John said with a smile on his face. As he turned to leave he paused and sniffed the air. 

 

John turned back towards Aaron and leaned in close. So close Aaron could feel John’s warm breath on his skin. It caused his pulse to race and his face to turn ten shades redder.

 

John pulled back to stare at the blushing young man. “Sorry about that, but you smell so good. What stuff is that?”

 

Aaron could have sworn there was a hint of flirtation in John's eyes that pulse race faster.

“I-It's jj-just cheap body wash from the local shop.” Aaron barely managed to say much to the amusement of Adam who was still watching the whole scene play out in front of him.

 

“Well, it smells amazing on you.” John said while sending Aaron a quick wink. 

 

That rendered Aaron speechless, Adam on the other hand almost couldn't contain his amusement at the rare sight of Aaron blushing. 

 

“I'll just have to see him when I get back. Later Adam.” John said as he gave Adam a quick wave.

 

“Aaron.” John said as he took Aaron’s hand if Aaron or anyone had looked more closely they would have seen the deadly lust the laid in the darkness of John’s eyes. 

 

“Take care of that husband of yours, I'll need him when I get back. He works well under pressure and he has a good mouth.”

 

Though Aaron was confused by the wording he thought John was talking about the way Robert was with clients, the way he could sweet talk and charm them.

 

“Oh I will and you have don't know how good he could be with his mouth.” Aaron said thinking of the times before prison when Robert would wake him with his amazing mouth skills.

 

John just smirked as he left as all he could think was. “ _ Oh, Aaron I think I do.” _

 

After John left and closes the door silence filled the port-a-cabin. Aaron could face his face begin to cool down, all he wanted to do now was forget about how he embarrassed himself in front of John but he couldn't help it John’s flirtation way seem to have an effect on him. 

 

Adam, however, decided that He needed to add his two cents in rather than continuing the silence.

 

“So flirting with the clients is your new thing now? Don't think that husband of yours would be too happy that.”

 

“ _ Shit.”  _ Aaron thought after the fight they had the first time he met John plus he wasn't even sure if Robert was pissed that he accused him of cheating with Danny having been too ill to have really talked about it. Aaron knew for sure that if he heard he went all red with John again Robert would be mad.

 

“Then again John didn't really leave anything for Robert so it was like he wasn't even here.”

 

Aaron smiled he knew in an instant what Adam was talking about. “Thanks, mate.”

 

“No problem you're not the only here who suffers when you two fight. How about we close up early and you can take care of that husband of your after you buy me a pint first of course.”

 

“Oh of course.” Aaron said as he quickly headed to the door, looking forward to seeing Robert no matter how sick he was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh no John is back, thankfully he's off again but for how long and does he have his eyes on Aaron or has he thought of a new way to mind f**k with Robert? Who knows( i know) please leave a comment below as the more you comment the fast I write because I want to make you lot happy lol or come talk to me on Tumblr @ghost-online I always love to answer questions or give you hints of whats to come.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO! looked who finished the next chapter faster than they thought they would! Honestly didn't think that this would happen so fast but it did guess the wee holiday really help make the creative juices flow fast lol

Turned out Danny was right within three days Robert no longer felt the sickness of withdrawal and soon able to take the drugs Danny had given him. At first, Robert was worried that it would take a few days of taking them before they truly started working. However, that proved not to be the case as within an hour after taking the first dose he felt more in control of himself than he had in awhile. 

 

Although Danny had been right about some of the side effects as well. Robert didn't get any headaches but he did find himself not as hungry as he normally was. That didn't really bug him as he wanted to lose weight but he knew Aaron would be concerned as he had already lost a bit of weight with being sick for three days straight.

 

So he made rules for himself so that Aaron wouldn't be worried. Robert only ate when Aaron was around which normally could be only breakfast and dinner or lunch and dinner. And when he did eat he would have a sandwich or salad if he could have that he only eat some of the food and say he had a big meal beforehand if Aaron hadn't been there to see him eat. 

 

The loss of appetite wasn't the only side effect. Insomnia seemed to also have its claws in Robert. Often he would find himself just staring at the ceiling. Not Robert minded too much whenever he did sleep nightmares weren't too far behind but he knew he needed those few hours to keep Aaron’s concerns at bay. So again he made rules. 

 

At night Robert would wait a couple of hours till Aaron was in a deep sleep. (He was always amazed that despite everything he had been through Aaron could always fell into a deep sleep with Robert was next to him.) Then Robert would quickly and quietly change into his run stuff and head out the door. He found that workout outside the pub meant he was less likely to wake anyone. 

 

At first, he would do just some stomach crunches and push-ups but after awhile he started to run around the village. When he ran he began to understand why Aaron liked it. It really gave him a chance to think about everything. Helped him see that the lies he told Aaron weren't bad but kept him safe. Because Robert knew that at the end of the day he had to be the strong one. Aaron had gone through so much pain(some of which was his fault) he didn't need anymore. 

 

So during the day Robert would take his pills and have his rules for food and at night he would clear his head by running till he was tired which helped him sleep for a few hours. It may not have been normal or 100% healthy but it got Robert through the day.

 

It had been two weeks since Robert’s last run in with John and he hadn't heard anything from him. He was actually starting to wonder if John had moved on from him. Maybe he had found someone else to mess with and would leave Robert alone. Fingers crossed, anyway, he had other things to think about. Liv and Chas were finally coming home. Aaron was so excited like a child at Christmas, Robert couldn't really blame him though last time he had seen both of them he was still in prison. 

 

Robert was excited too. Not about Chas coming back, their relationship had taken a huge hit when Robert admitted that he was going to cheat on Aaron after their fight. It didn't matter that he didn't cheat he was thinking about it and to Chas that's all that mattered. But Robert didn't care cause it wasn't her return he was excited about it was Liv’s. 

 

Robert hadn't seen his girl in so long, they had been writing however when John re-appeared in his life he hadn't been writing as much as he did before. But John was hopefully gone and his family was going to be whole again. Also soon they would be in their own home and everything would be back to normal, no better than normal it would be perfect.

 

Faith had decided that they needed to throw a huge welcome back party for the return of Chas and Liv. At first, both he and Aaron tried to talk her out of the idea but as soon as the other Dingles heard about the idea there was no stopping it.  So all week they were busy getting stuff and ordering stuff. Both of them were run off their feet but at the same time, Robert felt it was the first time in awhile they were a couple again. 

 

They have been acting all touchy feely like they once were. Kisses and going as far as Aaron would as far as he would let himself go. Because as much as prison had affected Aaron’s intimate side John had affected Robert’s. Cause there was no way Robert could touch Aaron the way he deserved after he been focused to touch John. However, they were getting back there.

 

It was the return day of Liv and Chas which was also the day of the welcome back party which meant they were super busy. Vic and Marlon were in the kitchen cooking up a storm, Faith and Charity were stocking up the bar cause one thing everyone knew was that the Dingles knew how to party. Aaron and Adam happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and got roped into decorating. Robert on the other hand luckily was in the back working on some last minute paperwork that Nicola drop off that morning. 

 

“Hey skiver you going to come help anytime soon?” Aaron asked as he came through to back.  

 

“You know I would be helping if I didn't have this work to do.” 

 

Aaron shot him that basically said  I know you're lying. 

 

“Well, I would try to help.”

 

“Yeah right, how much longer do you think you are going to be?” 

 

“Not long then I'll be right through to help I promise.”

 

“You better Mr.Dingle.” Aaron said before giving Robert a quick kiss.

 

“I promise Mr.Sugden.” Replied Robert as he watched his husband return to the front. Nothing in the world could ruin the happiness he was feeling at that moment. Well till his phone beeped. He looked at his screen and felt the color drain from his face.

  
**Unknown:** **Golden Boy meet me at the Hotten Hotel in one hour. I've got a surprise for you. - John x**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh no, a surprise from John that can't be good. So what do you think it could be or what do you think of Robert as always please tell what you think below or talk to me on Tumblr @ ghost-online.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO!! sorry, I haven't posted anything in ages I had a small operation last week and I'm still recovering but I managed to write some of this from my hospital bed and finished it today. Please enjoy and see notes below for future story news.

The idea of a surprise from John sent chills up Robert’s spine but he knew that whatever it was, was nothing compared to the punishment he would receive if he didn't meet John. 

 

So quickly Robert cleared away his paperwork and made his way to the back with the vain hope of avoiding Aaron as he left.

 

“Where are you heading off too?” Aaron’s question dashed the idea of leaving with no questions. Robert turned to face Aaron who a had a faint smile on his face like he just thought he was catching Robert avoiding helping with the party. It hurt Robert that it was not the case as he would gladly help out with fifty Dingle parties then see John. However John had held over Robert, and he knew he couldn't disappoint him even if it meant disappointing his husband.

 

“I just a call from John he said he needs to see me. It's important.” Robert said as he watched Aaron’s face drop a bit.

 

“But mum and Liv are going to be back soon and we have the party not long after they arrive.” Aaron couldn't hide the sadness in his voice. 

 

“I know and I promise I'll be back as soon as I can. I'm really sorry but it's just something I need to do.” Robert replied before heading out the door not giving Aaron another chance to say anything else. 

 

“Robert?” Was the last thing he heard as the door closed.

 

Quickly Robert made his way to his car and was soon on his way to the hotel. 

 

In no time Robert found himself just sitting in his car outside the hotel. Robert knew what he needed to do however he had a hard time willing himself out of the car. Robert jumped when the quietness of the car was broken by the sound of his phone. It was a text from Aaron.

 

**Aaron:** **I love you, didn't get to say that before you left. Be back soon I know Liv can't wait to see you. X**

 

Reading that text made Robert’s heart break but it also made him realize what he needed to do if he wanted to keep his family. He had already given up on his self-worth. 

 

So he opened his glove compartment to get the other pills Danny gave him. He hated the fact Danny was right about needing them. He pocketed the Viagra and made his way to the hotel. His phone went off with a text from John.

 

**Unknown:** **Room 505, don't keep me waiting much longer Golden Boy. - John x**

 

John must have either known he was close or had someone watching him the lather really wouldn't have surprised Robert. John always liked to keep an eye on him in the past so when Syd was able to hide him, John lost the plot and Syd sadly bore the brunt of it.

 

Robert pushed the dark memories to the back of his mind he needed to be in control now. When he was in the elevator he popped one of the blue pills in his mouth.

 

_ “Maybe if he thinks I'm kean he'll be quick.”  _ Robert thought to himself as he felt an erection grow within his trousers. Thankfully no one was in the hallway or he would have gotten some odd looks. 

Soon he was at room 505. 

 

“ _ You can do this Robert, you've done this before you can do it again then you can go home.”  _ Robert told himself before he knocked on the door.

 

* **Knock Knock*** Robert could hear movement before the quickly opened revealing John dressed in a simple bathrobe. 

 

“Aw Golden boy you're early.” John said surprised at how fasted reacted to his text. Then John’s eyes what was waiting for him in Robert’s trouser.

“And eager to I see, well you better get in here. Don't want that to go to waste.”

 

John moved to let Robert into the room. The room screamed expensive but knowing John so well Robert wasn't surprised. 

 

“Now Golden Boy I want you to strip.” John said as he took sat down on the bed in front of Robert. Robert felt sick as he did what John wanted. Slowly removing each item of clothing he could see John’s eyes darken more and more with lust. Till finally, Robert stood there completely naked. John stood up and began to circle him like a shark circling its prey.

 

“You've lost weight, good for you. No offense but you were getting a bit soft around the middle.” Robert didn't say anything he just wanted to get it over and done with. He didn't see the point of these games. 

 

“Oh, what happened here?” John asked as his fingertips tracing Robert’s scar. Robert didn't say anything however he did slightly flinch, having always hated being touched there ever since he received the scar. John could see he was making Robert uncomfortable but that didn't mean anything to him. He leaned close to Robert. And whisper.

 

“Was someone a naughty boy?” Robert again said nothing but to John saw the way he clenched his jaw which to him said so much. 

 

“Well since you were early, I'm not totally ready. However, you can put these on(John points to some items on the bed) and wait for me.”

 

Robert looked at the blindfold and earplugs. Sensory Deprivation, he had heard about it the past but never tried it before even with John. So Robert was curious about what John was up too, yet he did what he was told he put the blindfold on and the earplugs. He was sure the last thing he heard was a shower.

 

John closed the door and jumped into the shower. The warm water relaxed his muscles, what planned to do to Robert he knew he needed to be limber. 

 

John covered himself in his new body wash not his normal scent but he knew it would be perfect for today. He couldn't help but smile as he rethought about his plan. He wasn't delusional he knew Robert didn't love him or even like him but that didn't matter to him. He loved the power over him the fact that at any moment John knew he could destroy Robert’s “perfect” little life.

 

Soon he felt he had left his Golden Boy waiting long enough. John turned the water off, and jumped out. He quickly dried off. A new scent covered his skin. _“Thank you for the inspiration, Aaron.”_ John thought to himself as he quietly opened the bathroom door, not bothering to put clothes on. No point as he wouldn't be needing them. 

 

John was breathless as he stared at his Golden Boy, his naked Golden Boy. Quietly and quickly he setup the camera he had hides as he had promised a mutual friend of theirs he would record this special meeting. Normally he didn't like to share his meeting with anyone but he couldn't refuse the person who gave him back his Golden Boy. 

 

Robert couldn't hear or see anything but he could feel movement around him. John must have been close then it hit him, a scent he knew so well, a scent he loved. 

 

“Aaron?” Robert asked confusion could be heard in his voice.

 

“ _ This can't be Aaron has to be a trick.”  _ Robert told himself but then he felt a gentle kiss on his lips something so unlike John. Robert tried to remove the blindfold covering his eyes keeping him from seeing the truth. But again he felt a hand gently moved his hand away from his blindfold. 

 

“No Golden Boy you don't get to see me.” John said aloud knowing Robert couldn't hear him.

“I want you to think I'm your precious husband Aaron.” Angry and hatred laced every word. However, Robert is none the wiser.  As far as he knew he was somehow in the gentle arms of his husband.

 

His neck and kisses were getting covered in gentle kisses he hadn't felt in so long. Soon he felt himself being guided backward then these soft hands helped lowered him down onto a bed.

 

“Aaron, is that really you?” Robert asked all logic had got out the window the second he smelt his husband’s scent. He felt his head being moving up and down a silent way to say yes. 

 

“Oh yeah I'll be your husband, I'll be your Aaron.” John said as he moved Robert’s head up and down.

 

It had been so long since their wedding night that soon Robert felt himself become lost in the moment. A fog of ecstasy covered his mind as the further they way.  Robert turned onto his stomach and began to get on all four. He could feel tears starting to form in his eyes as he cried.

“I want you inside me, Aaron, I need to feel you.”

 

John just smiled and did want he was asked. He honestly felt like this idea of his couldn't have gone any better. He had never seen this side of his Golden Boy before. So happy to be with him so happy to please him any way he wants. John so pulled out once he was done, Robert just laid there smiling away lost in his only imagination, only when he removed the blindfold did his smile fell. And did he remember where he was and who he was with.

 

“ _ Oh god, what have I done.”  _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think? please leave a comment below or come and talk to me on Tumblr @ghost-online. Also, I think there are only 2/3 chapters left before the big reveal and the fallout from it. So just be patient cause it's going to be big.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY!! IM SO SO SORRY!! I know I have posted in ages but honestly, work has just been GRRR! which really has been effect my writing mojo which doesn't help this story or my new one. And sadly my grandpa has passed away too. Really the beginning of August has not been fun but I'm back and though this isn't as long as my chapters normally are I hope you lot(if you are still reading) like it

Robert laid there on the bed almost catatonic.

_“Oh god, what have I done? Oh god, what have I done? Oh god, what have I done? Oh god, what have I done?”_ A question he asked himself repeated over and over in his mind. But he knew the answer. He had lost himself in John’s trickery and as a result, he showed John a side of himself only Aaron ever saw. A vulnerable and soft side that he only knew he had because of Aaron, and now that side had been shared with a monster. Forever scarring it. 

 

John, on the other hand, was beaming. Smiling from ear to ear about what had just happened. He and Robert had done many things together in the past but that was the first time John had felt Robert truly wanted him. Of course, he knew that wasn't really the case as Robert had been yelling out his husband's name and not John's but that didn't stop John from feeling very proud of what he had been able to get out of Robert. 

 

John hummed away to himself as he began to get dressed rethinking every detail. He turned to look at Robert with a devilish smirk on his face. 

“Golden Boy that was something else. I'm going, to be honest with you I've never experienced a pleasure like that before so loving and raw. Your husband is one lucky man.” Robert could hear the tone of John’s voice he was like he almost teasing him as if it was just a little game only them two were playing.

 

Robert by that time had quickly sat up and tried to cover what was left of his dignity with the bedsheet. 

 

“Don't you dare talk about him.” Robert whispered barely heard by John whose smile only grow wider.

 

And though as hard as Robert tried to look as if John didn't finally get under his skin or in his head. Sadly he was, he had finally clawed his way in and there was no way he was leaving. Robert could feel the tears began to fell from his eyes. 

 

John could see the tears, see that he had effected Robert so deeply that he appeared to have broken him. Yet John felt nothing but the joy of the pleasure he had received. He even began to hum to himself as if what happened was nothing more than a quickie between two consenting adults. Swiftly he tidied away his camera before Robert could notice not that it really mattered anyway if he did. In John’s mind, he already had Robert by the balls. 

 

“Why?” Robert asked sounding so broken, if John had a heart he might have cared.

 

“What?” John replied as he continued to get dressed already thinking about what other things he needed to do that day.

 

“Why did you make me think you were Aaron? Out of all the things, you could have done, why did you do that?” Robert hoped that if he knew it would somehow make him feel better about himself. John turned to look at him usually quiet as if he needed to really think about his answer. Yet as Robert looked deeply into John’s dark eyes he knew the answer wouldn't be good.

 

“I'm greedy so when I'm fucking you I want all of you even the parts you only show your husband. Because Golden Boy at the end of the day you're a whore and you're mine. So I can do whatever I want with things that are mine.” 

 

John's answer shouldn't have surprised Robert but it did. Robert was knocked out of his shock when John threw the pile of his clothes at him.

 

“Get dressed, as much as I love to see you naked I've got places to be.”

 

Robert was almost on autopilot as he did what he was asked and was swiftly dressed in a matter of minutes. He followed John as he made his way out of the room and to the elevator. Soon Robert was trailing behind John through the lobby like a beaten dog afraid it may be hit again. Once both men were outside John grabbed ahold of Robert and pulled him close before kissing him roughly, so roughly it almost hurt. Unknown to both of them they were being watched. Their mutual friend watched them from a distance. 

 

When John finally pulled away he shoved a wad of money into Robert’s hand.

 

“I put in a little extra there for you, why don't you use it to spoil the husband.” And with John left with a smile on his face while Robert was almost as white as a ghost. 

 

Their mutual friend watched with a Cheshire cat grin on their face as they watched as Robert slowly walked to his car before he finally broke down. Crying heavily against his car door but the friend feels nothing but satisfaction not just with what they were witnessing. But also with the part, they played in bring John back into Robert’s life.

 

_ “Did you honestly think you deserved a happy life? No this is what you deserve Robert. Pain and misery” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So did you like it? I know you all want the truth to come out and promise it will and it will be big. Please tell me what you think as your comments do help me write. Or come talk to me on Tumblr @ghost-online.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! thank for all the lovely messages about my family's loss that really meant a lot. So much I wrote the story's longest chapter! think of it as my way of saying thank you for still reading

It didn't take Robert long to calm himself and get into his car. However it took much longer to will himself to drive back to Emmerdale, back to Aaron.  It was 20 minutes and at least twenty texts asking where he was before he finally found the strength the start the car and drive.

 

Robert just drove silent in the car the only thing keeping him company was the voices of his loved ones tell him how much he had failed them. In what seemed like only seconds Robert was at the woolpack yet he didn't want to go in. He needed a few more minutes to collect himself and reappear the mask he found himself wearing more and more around the people he loved even the man he loved. 

 

He flipped his mirror down to better collect himself however all he saw at first was the broken boy he once was, now is. In horror he looked away. “ _ Come on Robert pull it together.”  _  When he looked back and sighed in relief when he saw himself as he was now. His eyes were a bit red and his clothes seemed a bit dishevelled but it was nothing he couldn't explain away. As he continued to collect himself he was thankfully to see John didn't like any marks. However just because john didn't leave an visible marks didn't mean Robert didn't feel covered. 

 

Once Robert felt that he was presentable well more presentable then he was 10 minutes ago. Before he left the car, which he felt had become one of the few places he could let down his newly build walls he popped two of Torpens pills into his mouth. He knew it would take a bit of time before the pills kicked in and calmed his nerves however he didn't have time to wait. He had to face what awaited for him in the pud.

 

So slowly he exited the car and made his way toward the pub. Robert couldn't help but notice a tremble in his hand as he went to push open the pub door. Honestly though it felt like his whole body was trembling. 

 

“ _ It's just the pub, this place is your home you can get through this.” _

 

He took one last deep breath before he walked through those doors. Then he saw what awaited him. He was somewhat pleased to see that the party hadn't started yet. He knew Aaron as well as Liv would have been upset if he had missed most of it, and he had upset them far too much already(even if they didn't know it). 

 

Yet he hoped if he had arrived with the party already in full swing he could have slip pass everyone and headed upstairs to shower and change without anyone noticing. 

“ _ Maybe I still can? Now if I just slip into the back withou-”  _

 

A voice from behind interrupted his train of thought. 

 

“Oh look who has finally turned up now that the work is done.” 

 

Robert turned to see a clearly unhappy Chas with one hand on her hip and other holding two glasses. She must have been outside when Robert pulled up but never noticed her. 

 

“ _ Well there go the “be sneaky” plan and from the tone of her voice the disillusion she's not mad at me anymore. Fuck!” _

 

_ “ _ Hey Chas it's great that you're back.” Robert said with a uncomfortable smile. 

 

“Mhm.” Was all he got as a reply as she walked passed him and placed the empty glasses on the bar. 

 

He hated the fact they had gone so far backwards in their relationship to now even small moments like this were awkward and filled with thick tension. 

 

And though Robert was aware things between them would never be as they were before nevertheless he was determined to crawl back to a place where moments like this weren't so hard.

 

“So did you have a great time in the sun? Weather reports said it was sunny every day.”

 

“It wasn't a holiday Robert I was there to take care of Sandra and Liv.” Chas snapped back as she crossed her arms as if she was getting ready for a fight.

 

“I know but Liv had texted that you two went to the beach a couple of times.” Robert said almost sheepishly scared he was going to say the wrong thing. Sadly it appeared that he had.

 

“Oh so you do remember texting Liv cause one minute she's telling me you two are texting daily the next barely a word from you.”

 

Robert couldn't help but bow his head in shame. Chas was right he hadn't been messaging Liv as much as he once was but the stress of everything had played too much on his mind. 

 

“You're right Chas but work has been stressful lately.”

 

“Oh, what princess posh calling you up all hours to do that dirty work you love so much?”

 

“MUM ENOUGH!” 

 

Robert turned to see a clearly angry Aaron standing in the doorway with Liv peeking her head from behind him. Chas just throw her hands up in air and made her way into the back not wanting to get into a fight with her son. Well another fight actually as they already had a mini falling out went Liv and her arrived at the pub only to find Robert was nowhere to be seen, not that Chas actually wanted to see him.

 

But seeing that he wasn't there and leaving all the party want to be done by others was just more evidence to Chas that Robert was still Mr.Shifty in her eyes. 

 

“You ok?” Aaron asked Robert worried he's mother words might have hurt him. 

 

“I'm fine.” Robert replied with a small smile trying to reassure his husband all while thinking. “ _ It's nothing I don't deserve.”  _

 

Robert didn't really care about what Chas thought about, not too much anyway it was the young girl hidden behind Aaron he was worried about. Liv and him had grown close so the idea of that bond being broken scared him more then being left alone with an angry Cain. 

 

“Liv I-.” Before Robert could even start to say sorry for being so far and between with his texts Liv rushed at him and hugged him tightly. 

“I missed you.” Liv said quietly trying (poorly) to hid her emotions reminding Robert how much like Aaron she was. Robert let out a huge sigh as the weight of worry lifted off his chest. Sadly the worry really seem to shift from Robert to Liv because as she hugged Robert she cause tell he had lost a lot of weight. And as she let go to look at him she noticed he looked paler than normal and had slight bags under his eyes. 

Aaron had hinted to her went they were at David’s that things had been a bit shaky between him and Robert due to stress and a new client but that things were better now. Yet the state of Robert’s appearance told a different story. 

 

“ _ Something isn't right here.”  _ A little voice said in the back of Liv’s mind. Yet she tried to believe what Aaron, that they were in a good place any happy. So she pushed it down the little voice. Liv let go of Robert. 

 

“I'm going to help Vic in the kitchen.” Once Liv had rushed off Aaron turned to Robert which concerned in his eyes. 

 

“Are you sure you're ok?” 

 

Robert didn't really answer just ran his hand through his hair. Aaron could see something wasn't right.

 

“Because if you're upset at what my mum-” Robert quickly cut Aaron off.

 

“No no, it's nothing to do with your mum honest.” Which was true though Chas’ coldness towards him did feel like he had just been kicked when he was already down.

 

_ “ _ Then what's wrong? No lies remember.” Robert felt a knot developed in his gut. He couldn't lie to Aaron after that so he told the truth.

 

“The meeting with John was a bit more intense then I thought it would be.”

 

“Oh shit, that may be my fault.”

 

“What how?” Robert couldn't help but be confused by Aaron’s admission.

 

“Well John came by the port-a-cabin when you were sick saying he had paperwork for you. I didn't tell you cause he said it could wait till him came back from his trip and I didn't want to stressed when you were so ill.” Aaron decided to leave out the part where John flirted with him . Aaron thought that it wasn't really important plus he didn't want Robert to be really mad at him hours before they were going to have a party. 

 

If it had been any other client he may have been mad but cause it was John he didn't know what to feel. He knew hands down that it wasn't paperwork John had waiting for him but he doubt that if Aaron told him about the random visit soon it would have help him today. 

 

“Look that's okay I don't think it would have made a difference today.” Robert could see Aaron’s face lighten up at the fact Robert wasn't mad, well Robert wasn't mad at him anyway. 

 

“I'm going to pop upstairs and take a quick shower before I get ready for the party.”

 

“Alright, I love you.”

 

With a sad smile Robert replied. “I love you too.” Robert quickly made his way upstairs he didn't want to bump into Chas again. Once he grabbed his clothes then jumped into the bathroom, triple checking the lock on the bathroom door. Then he did his usual routine of undress and stepping into the hot shower without looking into the mirror. He found himself hating his reflection nowadays. 

 

But as he stood under the scolding hot water he still felt unclean. He could feel panic begin to grow thankfully because of the medication running through his veins he wasn't having a full blown panic attack in the shower. 

“ _ I don't feel clean, why can't I feel clean.”  _ Robert panicky thought as he scrubbed his skin with soap and hot water. He stuck his head out the shower and looked around the steamed filled room. Hopping to find something, anything to help him feel cleansed and untarnished. Soon his eyes fall into a bottle next to the toilet.  **Bleach.**

_ “Yes, that will work.” _

 

By the time Robert finished in the shower and had gotten dressed the party was already in full swing. Not wanting to bring attention to himself and still sore from his shower Robert decided to sit down in the corner of the pub. God he wanted a beer or some form of alcohol so bad. Though he knew he couldn't, he promised Aaron and he was on medication from Danny. 

 

Plus he reminded himself “ _ loose lips sink ships.”  _ So he sipped an orange juice and tried not to let the cold glares from members of the Dingle family get to him. 

_ “Great so Chas told them about that night too? Perfect.” _

As the night went on he made some small talk with both Diane and Vic. Aaron was too busy laughing away with Adam and Paddy Robert didn't mind he loved seeing his husband so happy. Planning on heading up to bed early he was lost in his own thoughts when a hand smacked hard on his shoulder. He couldn't help but hiss in pain as his skin was so tender. 

 

“Shit sorry Robo you ok?” Danny asked worried by Robert's reaction. 

 

“I'm fine and don't call me Robo. What are you doing here Danny?” Robert asked surprised Danny was there. 

 

“Aaron invited me. Hope that's ok?” Danny was starting to feel like being there was a mistake.

 

“Yeah of course! Sorry I was busy thinking about nothing. Actually, I want you to meet someone.” Robert was soon searching through the crowd with Danny not far behind when he finally found the person he was looking for. 

 

“Liv! I want you to meet a friend of mine, Danny. Danny this is Liv Aaron’s sister.”

 

Danny was a little confused as the first time Robert mention the girl in front of him he called her his daughter.

 

“You have a friend?” Liv said pretending (only a bit) to shocked at the idea of Robert having a friend.

 

“Jesus Robert what is it you and everyone here shocked you have a mate. Are you this village’s version of the antichrist?” Danny asked barely hiding the annoyance in his voice. 

 

“Not really antichrist but from what I heard he was close. In his younger days.” Liv replied with a cheeky smile on her face. Danny grinned as Liv instantly reminded him of Robert when he first met him.  _ “Oh yeah, that's Rob’s kid.”  _

 

“So has he thought he was cool and told bad jokes or does that happen with old age?”

 

“Oh cheeky watch it I'm the same age as him! But aye he's alway been this way.” Danny nudged Robert as he laughed however stopped when he saw that Robert was not only lost in his own thoughts but from the look in his eyes they were dark thoughts. 

 

“You know what I think I'm going to pop outside for a quick smoke. Rob, why don't you come with me?” Danny pulled Robert towards the door not even giving him a chance to answer.

 

“It was nice meeting you Liv.” Danny shouted not really looking back because if he did he would have seen the worried teen follow them. Once outside Danny pulled Robert over to the side of the pub so they couldn't been seen. Although it might they couldn't see Liv who was just around the corner.

 

“So are you going to tell me what's wrong?”

 

“What? Noth-”

 

“DON'T! Don't think you can bullshit me Robert just don't. Now tell me what's up.”

 

Robert was quiet for a moment. He thought about lying but he knew he couldn't not to Danny who had done so much for him already. Plus he just didn't have the energy to lie. 

 

“Let's just say those pill you gave me finally came in handy today.”

 

“Fuck.” Danny exclaimed. He reached into a jacket for his cigarettes he didn't really need them before. But he needed one now.

 

_ “Pills? Why would Robert be taking pills?”  _ Liv thought as she continued to listen. Very confused.

 

“I shouldn't have given them to you.” Danny muddled as he lit the cigarette in his mouth.

 

“Honestly I don't think it would have helped if I had them or not one way or another. The thing with John was just more intense then I thought it would be.”

 

“ _What thing? What is going on with Robert?”_ Liv could feel herself starting to worry.

 

“Are you sure you're ok though mate? Cause you don't look it.” Danny said before taking another puff of his cigarette.

 

“I'm fine it was nothing I can't handle. I just need to sleep.”

 

“Then go sleep.” 

 

“I can't now can I? I need to stay for the party.”

 

“Mate the last thing you want is to stay at the party you have a face on you like a horse arse.”

 

“But Aaron-”

 

“But Aaron nothing he's not going to notices and I'm telling you as your friend and as a doctor, you need to clear your head and rest.”

 

“What about you?”

 

“What about me? I'm only here cause Aaron invited me. Look I'll just head off I've never been one for parties.”

 

“But-” 

 

“No, but just go relax and rest doctor's orders.” Danny said as he threw the last of his cigarette on the ground. 

 

“Thanks, Danny.” Robert said he couldn't help but smile it was nice having someone besides on his side.

 

“Well, I'm off Robo. Remember if you need anything call me.”

 

“I will Danny, thank for you know.”

 

“I know.” Danny said before he headed to his car. Robert started to make his way back to the pub

 

Liv snuck back into the pub before Robert had a chance to see her. As she entered the pub she felt a mixture of worry and confusion. She hoped that when she returned from Ireland things would be better but it appeared like things aren't what they seemed.

 

When Robert entered the pub he easily made his way through the crowd so swiftly no one noticed him thankfully everyone that care about him was too drunk to see he was gone. Soon he was up the stair in his room quietly he changed into any long sleeved t-shirt and an old pair of sweatpants he didn't care that he would probably wake up drenched in sweat because of how warm he would get during the night. 

 

He need to cover the raw rashes that now marked his skin. Once he was done getting change he wrapped himself duvet. The sounds of the party were better than any sound machine in a short time Robert was lost in his dreams of happier times. 

 

A noise from the darkness of the room jolted Robert awake. He panicked at first not knowing who the stranger was in the room with him. But as his eyes adjusted to the dark he sighed as the figure stepped into the light streaming through the window from the street light. 

 

“Aaron for god sake you scared the shit out of me.” Robert whispered with a small smile on his face. 

 

“Sorry.” Aaron slurred clearly drunk. Robert just laughed as he got out of bed to help his very drunk and cute husband. When Robert went to help Aaron with his jacket when Aaron grabbed him and pushed him against the door not in a violent way but in a way that means a certain type of business. 

 

“I missed you at the party.” Aaron whispered in Robert’s ear. 

 

“Sorry I was tired. Long day remember.”

 

“Well, are you still tired?” Aaron replied and because his face was illuminated Robert could see what Aaron wanted.

 

“Aaron I don't thi- ooh” Robert couldn't help but groan as Aaron kissed the part of his neck that always turned him on.

 

“I want you so bad.” Aaron growled as he slipped his hand down Robert’s sweatpants.

 

“Aaaaron.” Robert managed to get out as he felt Aaron start to stroke his cock. 

 

“Let me make you feel good.”

 

Robert bit his lip and nodded he was starting to lose himself.

 

“Let me make you feel hard golden boy.” 

 

Robert's eyes shot open he couldn't see Aaron anymore he saw John. The memories of what happened to him earlier flashed in his mind. But what made it worst was the smell of alcohol on his breathe bring back dark memories he long forgotten. 

 

“Stop.” Robert said as he felt himself start to panic.

 

“Shh don't worry no one can hear us.”

 

“Stop now.” But Aaron was too focus and drunk to really hear the panic in Robert's voice.

 

“I said STOP!” Robert before push Aaron so hard he just missed the bed and landed on the ground. It was only then looked up at a now shaking Robert did he see the clear panic it his eyes. 

 

“Oh god, Robert.” Aaron was the only thing he was able to say to him as Robert opened and ran out as fast as his feet could take him. He didn't stop even when called his name. He didn't stop till he was in the car and drove as fast as if his demons were chasing him. 

 

It was till he drove pass the Emmdale sign did he stop. Robert felt like he couldn't breathe but he knew he couldn't go back. So did the only he could think me called his friend.  

 

**Danny:** Robert? What's wrong?

 

**Robert:** Danny I need your help. 

 

Danny could hear the tears in Robert's voice. 

 

**Danny:** Come to my flat Robert let me help you.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO? you like? please tell me what you though as it makes me write fast and I've already started the next chapter I just need some fuel so please leave a message below or message me on Tumblr @ghost-online as I love talking to you guys or hell added me on snapchat @kelseymac92!


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SO SO SO SORRY! I know I haven't updated in ages. The current SL is really getting to me I hate it so much lol

The last thing Danny expected to be doing that night was sitting on his shit sofa comforting his old mate. But then again he didn't think he would be sending most of his nights alone after he reached his 30s. He thought he would be married with a kid maybe yet the marriage thing didn't work and no kids to call his own. So he sat next to Robert unsure what to say. 

 

Robert had been at his flat silently nursing a beer(Robert didn't even argue when Danny handed it to him)before Danny finally decided he need information and from the tone of Robert’s voice when he called he knew it was something bad. Which worried him as Robert seemed ok when he lifted him at the party. 

 

“So are you going to tell me what's happened?” 

 

Robert sighed and took a mouthful of his beer before he placed in on the table in front of him.

 

“I lied earlier when I said that my meeting with John was nothing I couldn't handle.”

 

“ _ Fuck I knew it.”  _ Danny thought as Robert continued.

 

“He did something he's never done before. He covered my eyes and ears then he just left me I don't know how long for be when he came back I thought he was Aaron. He smelt like Aaron so  I thought he was my Aaron.” Robert let a sob, he tried covered his face ashamed at what he had done. 

 

“I cheated on Aaron.”

 

“Why do you think that?” Danny asked softly.

 

“Because I showed him a side only Aaron saw. I've tainted our love.”

 

“That's fucking bullshit, you didn't taint anything that monster tricked you. What he did is Sensory Deprivation. It can visual hallucinations, paranoia and a depressed mood. So no Robert you didn't cheat on Aaron.” Robert didn't look convinced.

 

“I've tried Sensory Deprivation once.” Danny admitted Robert looked shocked.

 

“Yeah I kind of like it, my wife well now ex-wife, however, did not.” Robert had look on his face that was a mixture of worry and confusion. 

 

“I was the one whose senses were blocked and I was so lost in the euphoria of it all that called out the wrong name.” 

 

Robert let out a laugh he couldn't help it. He didn't expect Danny to come out with that.

 

“Sorry. But maybe she didn't hear you right?”

 

“Oh, she heard me right. My ex-wife’s name was Molly. I called out Sydney.” 

 

After a few moments of silences both men burst into laughter. The type of laughter that causes your cheeks to hurt but still can stop. When the brief moment of happiness faded Robert face turned serious. 

 

“There's more Danny.” The smile fell from Danny’s face and sighed

 

“I guessed that. Did John do something else?” Danny couldn't help but be worried. He knew if John could do this he could do anything.

 

“No, after the party Aaron came upstairs and we got you know.” Danny knew what “you know” meant.

 

“Okay what happened well I know what happened but why did you call me.” 

 

“Aaron called me golden boy.”

 

“Oh shit.”

 

“Yeah, then all I could see was John so I freak and pushed Aaron off and ran off.”

 

“Ah mate.” Danny said before he pulled his broken friend in for a hug. Robert cried a bit in the arms of his friend before he tried to pull himself and continued to tell Danny what happened 

 

“And you know what was worst.” Robert stated as he pulled away from Danny.

“It didn't just remind me of what happened with John today. It reminded me of the time I got really scary when I was working.”

 

“Wasn't that the night Syd and I met you?”

 

Robert nodded. 

 

“Wow.” Danny said as the memory came to mind.

 

I haven't thought about in years but tonight it all came flooding back.” Robert said his words tinged with sadness.

 

“Damn So what are you going to do?”

 

“I don't know, can I stay here tonight?” Robert asked wiping the tears from his face. 

 

“Of course mate, but you'll need to let Aaron know you're alright.”

 

Robert looked as if he was going to argue with him but Danny cut him off before he could start.

 

“Listen, mate, if Aaron just ran out of your house like a bat out of hell after you two were getting all you know. Wouldn't you want to know where he is or at least he was ok?”

 

“You right. Shit, he must be freaking out.”

 

“No shit I'm right I have a PhD so I do know a thing or two. Look just text him, let him know you're ok and that you two can talk in the morning.”

 

Robert looked at his phone the display alight with texts and miss calls from Aaron begging to know if he was ok. 

 

“But what am I going to tell him. How can I explain pushing him away like that and running off?”

 

“You explain by telling the truth.”

 

Robert looked panicked by that idea.  _ “I can't tell Aaron about John it's gone too far to simply tell the truth.” _ But as if Danny had read his mind he continued with. 

 

“Not about John. I know no matter what I say I won't get you to tell him about that asshole cause you're a fucking stubborn mule. But tell him about the first time. You said you haven't thought about it in years maybe with everything happening with John it's a good time to get it off your chest?” 

 

“I think you're right.”

 

“Of course I am I'm always right.” Danny exclaimed with a huge smile on his face. A silly smile that made Robert laugh as he picked up his phone to text Aaron.

 

**Robert:** **Aaron I'm sorry but I'm ok. I'm staying at Danny’s place tonight I will explain what happened in the morning. I love you x**

 

After that Robert turned off his phone he knew Aaron would try to call him again the second he got that text but he needed some peace. As well as some quiet to think about how he would tell Aaron about his first time selling himself.  

 

As Robert thought he looked around Danny’s flat it was only then he noticed all the boxes and things half packed away. 

 

“Are you moving?” Robert tried to hide the hint of sadness in his voice. He had only just reconnected with his friend, yes under horrible circumstances but still in enjoy having Danny back in his life. Robert didn't want to lose him. 

 

“Aye, my lease is coming to an end. I was thinking about moving to a village not far from here but at the time I wasn't too sure.”

 

“And now?”

 

“Well turns out my old mate lives there so at least I'd know someone. And from what I've heard he doesn't have many friends in his little farm village.”

 

“You're moving to Emmerdale!” Robert exclaimed his face lit up like a kid at Christmas. 

 

“Yeah well, it seems like an ok place. And having my mate back in my life hasn't been a totally bad thing even if the reason sucks.”

 

Robert didn't say anything he just pulled Danny into a tight hug feeling happy then he had been for ages. After a few moments, Danny broke the hug.

 

“Well it's getting late and as much I love chatting with you but we need to get our beauty so one of us can have a serious talk with their husband. While the other has to treat the aches and pains of aging pensioners.”

 

“We’re living the dream aren't we Danny.”

  
  


“We fucking are. You alright with the couch tonight?”

 

“Yeah, thanks again Danny.” 

 

“No problem Rob, night.” 

 

“Night.” Robert said as he watched Danny leave the room. 

 

Robert laid back on Danny’s old couch and pulled a spare blanket over himself. He let his heavy eyelids fall. The day had been long and tiring day even the little rest he had earlier hadn't seem to help. He didn't stand a chance when the exhaustion that had been building finally took over. As fatigue took his body memories of the past took his mind. 

 

Robert had only been on the job a few months but he had surprised himself by taking it like a fish to water. It all happened by accident really just started with a one night stand. After a few too much one lonely night he gave into desires that had been brewing within him since he was fifteen. And the fact the cute man at the end of the bar looked so much like the farm handed that would creep into his thoughts late at night really sealed the deal. 

 

Yet the feelings of ecstasy and passion soon wore off when the sun rose again and alcohol faded from his system. As he rushed to get dressed the cute stranger shoved what at the time Robert thought was his phone into Robert’s jacket pocket. Robert almost ran out the door when finished getting dressed, didn't even get the guy’s name not that he cared. That's when he remember the phone number in his pocket only it turned out not to be a phone number but a few hundreds instead.

 

That's when the idea popped into his head. Sell himself. Why not? He was good at sex(well that's what half of the women of Emmerdale told him) and he was good at reading people(that's what his mum told him). 

 

And he told himself he was only having sex with men for money(he was straight after all) he couldn't stop the feeling that a part of himself deeply hidden was finally getting satisfied.

 

So after few months “on the job,” he had gained a somewhat cocky level of confidence. Like he thought he was completely in control. However, unbeknownst to him that was going to change. 

 

It happened one night when Robert went to his favourite pick up place. A nightclub in the heart of London  **Urban Side City.** There Robert found he could enter broke but leave a few hundred quid richer with either a woman or guy’s hand on his arm. Though he noticed that if he was with a guy they wanted action right there right now. So they would end up shagging in the toilet or in the back alley. Yet women preferred to be intimate in their own beds. Which worked for Robert as his shit flat was no place for business or living for that matter.

 

It was still earlier when Robert arrived. The club was only filled with regulars(like himself) and old clients that weren't interested in a repeat encounter. That didn't really worry Robert as he knew the place would get busy soon and so would he. Yet for now he turned his attention to his favourite barmaid, a Scottish blonde who looked around the same age as him maybe a bit younger.

 

“Hey, beautiful.” Robert said as he sat down at the bar with one of his charming smiles on his face.

 

“Hey Blondie, you all alone night?” Syd replied almost teasing.

 

“For now, but you know I'm never alone long. Maybe you can keep me company tonight.” Robert gave Syd a flirtatious wink. But Robert wasn't serious and she knew that yet that stop her from putting right back.

 

“Oh blondie I would love too but I can't afford your company.” 

 

Robert laughed as he watched Syd serve another person. He enjoyed their random chats. He didn't want to admit it but she was the closest thing he had for a friend and he didn't even know what her name was. 

 

A glass placed down in front of him brought him out of his sad thoughts. When he looked to see who gave it to him he saw it was young guy only a few years older than him. He was tall tanned with brown hair and blue eyes. Way hotter than any other guy who chatted up Robert before. 

 

This guy had an air of confidence so thick Robert almost choked.

 

“The name is Sean Matthews.” The guy said huge cocky smile in his face. He stuck out his hand.

 

Robert shook it before replying.” Robert.” Trying his hardest to hide his nerves and put an act of confidence that could in some way match Sean’s.

 

“I've seen you around here and I know what kind of service you offer.”

 

“Oh you do?” Robert replied back trying to sound as flirty as he could. Why not? This guy was cute and if it might he was going to get some money too so what? As he discreetly checked Sean out he pushed his father voice out of his head. 

 

“I do. And I would like to make a deal.”

 

“I think we could arrange something now if you want?” 

 

“You're not busy?” Sean said pretending to sound surprised. Robert liked how playful Sean was. 

 

“You're lucky I have sometime free now.” Robert said before he down the drink Sean bought for him and followed Sean out the door to the alleyway. Once they were out of view of anyone. They started making out, Robert enjoyed it at first but then something didn't feel right. 

 

Robert's mind started to feel foggy.

 

“Wait stop.” Robert said a bit of panic in his voice but Sean didn't stop he just continued and started to undo Robert’s belt.

 

“Sean No stop.” Robert muddled not feeling right.

 

“Please stop. I don't want this.”

 

“Shut up. I don't care what you want. I want this.”

 

“Help someone please.” Robert muddled again losing the battle to stay awake.

 

“Shut up whore no one is going to help you.”

 

“OI!” A voice shouted behind them. That was the last thing Robert remembered before everything went dark. 

 

When Robert regained consciousness he shot up panicked as he had no idea where he was. It looked like a nice studio flat.

 

“Hey, Blondie.” Robert turned to see his favorite barmaid and a guy he regularly saw around the club. 

 

“What happened?” 

 

“When you left with Mr. Dickhead I noticed a substance in your glass. I told Danny and we went to find you. Brought you back to my flat. 

I'm Sydney, by the way but you can call me Syd this is Danny.”

 

“Robert.” 

 

“You know for a hooker you're not very smart. Didn't you know shouldn't get drinks from clients?”

 

“I'm still new at this.”

 

“That least you got the money right?” Danny asked

 

“No.” 

 

“Oh, Blondie always get the money first.” Syd said in an almost laughing way. 

 

“How do you know all the rules? Are you a”

 

“Hooker?” Syd cutting Robert off. He just nodded in agreement.

 

“No, I've worked in pubs and clubs since I was sixteen so I know some of the rules.”

 

“And you're a stripper too.” Danny said a small smirk on his face. 

 

“I'm a barmaid who sometimes dances I never strip asshole.” Syd said 

 

“And you?” Robert asked looking at Danny

 

“I'm a doctor.”

 

“He's a drug dealer.  Danny Dealer.”

 

“And I'm studying to be a doctor.”

 

“Well, I just that would mean I'm a real estate agent who only sales himself.”

 

The three people laughed. “Listen Robert you can rest here tonight if you want. Till you feel 100% again.” 

 

“Thanks, Syd.” 

 

It was from that night Robert made new rules to keep him safe. Plus he now had Danny and Syd watching his back. Two weeks after that night he moved in with Syd who didn't mind if he bought clients back as long as he gave her a heads up. 

 

Danny became his best mate who would come around to watch football. The three of them become as thick as thieves. There were the best few years of Robert's life. Then his father found him. Which turned out to only be the calm before the storm that would tear them apart.

 

Robert was awoken from his memories by the sound of an alarm going off in the other room. Danny emerged looking like he didn't sleep well. 

 

“You look like shit.” Robert said

 

“Right back at you. You really to talk to Aaron?” 

 

“Yeah, I think I am.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you ready for part two? please tell me what you think in the comments below or on Tumblr @ghost-online


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in one day cause I feel bad for not posting in ages!

Aaron couldn't help but feel sick with worry. The look of fear in Robert’s eyes sobered him up just as much the fall to the ground did. By the time he had come to his senses Robert was gone. Aaron ran down the stairs not caring how loud he was and out the door in the vain hope Robert was only outside sadly all Aaron found was that Robert’s car was gone. 

 

He went back inside he hand frantically running through his hair worried about what to do next. He had never seen fear like that before well not in Robert’s eyes. He had seen fear like that before in his own ever time he looked in a mirror when he knew his father, no Gordon was coming up to his bedroom. 

 

Aaron ran over to the table where his phone was laying. Over and over Aaron tried to call Robert but no answer. So Aaron decided to call the one person Robert normally turns when they fight, Vic. Aaron hoped she not only get Robert to talk to him about what happened but some insight too. Though he knew that was unlikely.    
  
As much as he knew Robert loved him counseling and Liv(though he wouldn't admit it) really helped him see that and truly helped him feel like he could trust Robert. However, he couldn't help but feel Robert was still keeping things from him like he was still holding things back from him. 

 

Aaron tried not to take it personally it wasn't like he was the only one who got half truths and excuses about his life. Vic and Diane felt the same too. Back when Robert and he were just an affair, one night after a few too many with Adam. Aaron asked Vic what Robert had been up to before he met Chrissie. Vic was silence for a moment.   
  
“I don't know.” The sadness in her voice catches him off guard.   
  
“He never talks about it and when I asked once he just said stuff before he changed the subject. Why do you care? Got a thing for my brother?” Vic teased any sadness totally gone from her voice.    
  
“As if he's getting married and he's straight. Plus even if he was single and gay he's not my type.”   What a lie that was.   
  


The phone rang a few times before someone finally picked up.

 

“WHAT THE FUCK!?” Adam yelled when he answered. Aaron whinged a bit as he had forgotten how early in the morning it was.

 

“Adam it's me. Is Robert here?” Aaron asked panic clearly could be heard in his voice.

 

“No, Aaron has something happened?” Adam asked Aaron could hear noises in the background most likely Vic asking what was going on. This was confirmed when Vic began to talk on the phone.

 

“Aaron why isn't Robert with you?” Vic asked concern at what was going on.

 

“We were messing around.” Aaron said feeling a little awkward he is saying this to his sister-in-law/mate. But hoped she understood his meaning without him going into deep detail.

 

“And he started to freak out, pushed me to the ground and ran out the door. By the time I made it down the stairs and outside after him his car was gone.” 

 

“Have you tried calling him?” 

 

“Yeah but he's not answering. Vic, I'm really worried I've never seen him like that.” 

 

“Ok, I'll try to call him and see if he answers. If he does I'll call you back. Just stay calm.” 

 

“ _ Stay calm? How the hell can I stay calm when my husband ran out on me scared out of his mind!”  _ Aaron thought as he listened to Vic pass the phone back to Adam. 

 

“Do you want to come over?” Adam asked worried about his mate.

 

“No, I want to stay in case Robert comes back.”

 

“Do you want me to come over?”

 

“No, I'll be fine you should stay with Vic. I've probably made her worry so she'll need you more.”

 

“Okay mate, will call if we hear anything.”

 

“Thanks, Adam.” Aaron said before hanging up. He put the phone back on the table before collapsing himself onto the chair he put his head in his hands he felt both sober and exhausted. Like he had been awake for days rather than a few hours.

 

“Aaron?”

 

Aaron's head shot up hoping to see Robert standing in the doorway however it was his young sister standing there. He could see she had a look of worry on her face. “ _ Great she's back one night and she already has to deal with this drama.”  _

 

“Aaron, are you ok?” Liv asked worried about the way her brother looked. She knew something was wrong Liv had heard the shouting from their room and footsteps running out the door. But she knew there was more to the story maybe something Aaron didn't even know.

 

“Yeah, I'm fine, sorry if I woke you.” Aaron said trying his best to sound believable. Liv didn't believe him but she didn't want him to know that.

 

“It's ok, I was already awake. I swear Charity’s snoring could wake the dead.” 

 

Only Liv could make Aaron laugh when he's worried about Robert. 

 

“How about I make us some hot chocolate?” Aaron asked making his way to the kitchen. He doubted either one of them was going to sleep anytime soon so might as well drink something sweet.

 

Liv just nodded as she made her way to the table. When she sat down she noticed pictures she had never seen before only to see there were pictures of a young Robert.

 

“Oh my god! Is that really Robert?” Liv said laughing looking through the pictures. She had ever seen Robert’s hair so long or him that happy before. It was almost like she was looking at a different person altogether. Aaron sat down next to her. He passed her a mug of hot chocolate then looked at the picture with her.

 

“Yeah, Robert found them in one of the boxes he still had at Vic’s. Look there is his friend Danny you meant have seen him at the party. 

 

“I did but I thought he was joking when he said he was Robert’s mate.” 

 

“Hey!” Aaron exclaimed, “Don't be mean.” The two siblings laughed till Aaron’s phone lit up. Quickly Aaron grabbed it as if it was the most important thing in the word. 

 

Liv watched as Aaron panicked and worried face began to soften as looked at the screen. Aaron quickly texted Vic to let her know.

 

“Is Robert ok?” 

 

“Yeah he's at Danny’s flat tonight but he’ll be back in the morning.”

 

“But is he really ok?” Liv asked she wasn't stupid the second she saw Robert she knew something was wrong. 

 

“Of course.” Aaron said though he didn't believe himself but also as Liv believed if he was happy. She didn't yet she didn't let on that she didn't. 

 

“How about we head back upstairs and we both try to get a few more hours sleep?” 

 

Liv just nodded and followed Aaron up the stairs and headed to her bedroom door. Liv stopped at her doorway she turned back to Aaron. 

 

“I love you, Aaron.”

 

“I love you too Liv.” Aaron replied a small smile on his face. He couldn't help but feel like this day was bittersweet. He got his sister back only from his husband to disappear. 

 

Aaron laid down on his cold bed. His eyes only just had slowly shut for what it seemed like a minute when he was awoken by the bed dipping. When he opened his eyes and his vision finally cleared he could see it was his husband. Sitting next to him looking almost as tired as he probably did. 

 

“Robert?” Aaron said still sounding tired.

 

“I'm sorry.” Robert replied not looking at him. Before Aaron could say or ask anything Robert continued. 

 

“I think the past few month have been harder on me more than I really knew. You going to prison and us finding one another again, going back to work, John.” 

 

Aaron didn't notice the way Robert broke when he said John’s name.

 

“Everything just started building and building and it made me remember something I tried not to think about for a long time.” 

 

Aaron sat listened in shock as Robert told him of that night in the club of course he left out the bits about why he was really there but didn't stop the story from being an less surprisingly. Aaron had no idea his poor husband was almost raped but then he remembered the look on Robert's gave when he had told him about Gordon and how supportive he was. It wasn't just because he loved him, he had almost been in the same position. 

 

Aaron told himself that he would have to buy Danny a pint next time he saw him as well as Syd if he ever met her for saving his husband. 

 

“I'm sorry I pushed you. I'm so sorry.” Robert said before the flood gates opened. Aaron held him as cried. He cried for everything in his past Aaron knew about and everything he didn't. He cried for the lies and the half truths, he cried till he couldn't cry anymore. The whole time Aaron held him trying to be as strong for him as Robert had been him. 

 

“You don't need to be sorry Robert. This year has been hard on both of us but as long as we have one another and we’re going to be ok.” 

 

Robert looked at Aaron tears still in his eyes and all he could think was. _ “Oh, Aaron I want that be true I really do.”  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're still with me in reading this story. one more chapter that the truth will be revealed! please tell me what you think in the comments below or talk to me on Tumblr @ghost-online


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, My God!! IM SO SO SO SORRY FOR THE LONG ASS WAIT!! I didn't mean for this to happen I really didn't but its hurt to write when your inspiration is turning to shit but there is light at the end of this shit tunnel and I AM BACK. (Hopefully, there are still people out there how still want to read this.)

Even though weeks had gone by since the night Robert ran out on Aaron after the welcome home party and though they had said repeatedly everything was fine between them now, Liv’s gut told her another wise. Her suspicions had already been raised when she overheard him and his friend Danny talking about pills.

 

After that night she just started noticed little things that suggested something was very wrong with Robert. Something worse than pills. Although he and Aaron couldn’t seem happier together. Liv noticed Robert started to tense up whenever Aaron touched him or have a guilty look in his eyes whenever they kiss. She also noticed when she returned that he lost some weight so she watched him around food.

 

It scared her how little he was eating not that Robert ate a lot, to begin with, she always known him to be a health nut but now he barely eating anything when Aaron was around or nothing at all when he wasn’t. One night when it was just the two of them she had made Robert’s favorite soup in the hope of getting him to eat. Sadly it didn’t work.

 

“Sorry, Liv I had a huge lunch with a client today. Couldn’t eat another bite.” But Liv knew that was a lie.

  
  


She tried to Aaron about but he just brushed her off saying Robert way through a rough patch while she was away but he’s ok now and that it’s just a little stress.

 

Liv couldn’t hear any worries in his voice or concern in his eyes so she started to believe what he was true, that Robert was stress. 

 

 _“If Aaron isn't worried then maybe I shouldn’t be.”_ Liv repeated thought to herself 

 

Till she was walking to her room one day and could hear the sounds of heavy breathing coming from Aaron and Robert’s room. Of course, her first thought was “ _ eww can’t they lock the door.”  _

 

However, Liv quickly remembered Aaron wasn’t home he was out on a job. Slowly Liv walked over to their room scared that behind the door Robert was with someone else but when she gently pushed the door open the sight that was playing out in front of her scared so much more. 

 

Robert was there sitting on the ground rocking back and forth breathing so heavily like air couldn’t get into lungs. He was having a panic attack Liv knew the signs all too well because of Aaron but she had never thought she’d see Robert have one. Have a few seconds to get over the shock of what she saw Liv rushed through the door to Robert still rocking back and forth on the floor.

 

“Robert you need to breathe with me. Breath in and out. Breath in and out. Breath in and out.” 

 

It took a bit of time but soon Robert appeared to calm down and he even started breathing normally again. When the panic attack finally passed the two of them sat on the floor, the silence was deafening. Robert was clearly embarrassed about being caught by Liv in a moment of weakness. He thought he had got a handle on the panic attacks because of the pills Danny gave him yet a text from John could still send him spiraling out of control. 

 

“Please don’t tell Aaron about this.” Robert begged quietly sounding nothing like the cocky man she had grown to love.

 

“I won’t.” Liv replied because she really wouldn’t. She had already tried so many times to tell Aaron something was wrong but his Rose tinted glasses were so tight at the moment she doubts even this would knock them loose.

 

“Thank you.” Robert said as he made his way by to his feet. “I need to get to work, I’ll see you later.” And with that, he was gone not even giving Liv a second look as she just sat still on the floor of his room. 

 

Liv was lost in her thoughts of worry when an unexpected voice broke through.

“The panic attacks were way worse before Robert started taking those pills.” Noah said as he stood quietly in the doorway.

 

Apparently, Liv wasn’t the only one who saw the change in Robert. 

 

“What are you talking about?” Liv asked wanting to make sure they were on the same page first just in case. 

 

“Oh come on Liv I know you've noticed Robert isn't the same guy you knew when you left. I'm just surprised Aaron hasn't. Robert is barely eating, he seems stressed all the time, every night he's out running. And he's always using up all the hot water whenever he takes a shower.”

 

Of course, she already knew about Robert’s new eating habits and she knew the showers as she remembered Charity moaning at Robert about using all the hot water not long after she got back sadly recently she started to notice the smell of bleach after he would shower as well now.

 

Yet she didn't know what Robert was out running every night when they all slept. “ _ Shit no wonder he's lost so much weight.” _ Liv thought as she stood in shock, in shock about how much Noah knew and in shock about how much she didn’t.  

 

“How could Aaron not notices any of these  changes when you and I can  obviously see it?” Noah asked clearly been wanting to ask this question for awhile.

 

“I think after everything Aaron been through the last few months I think he's just unknowingly blocking out the bad and trying to see only the good.” Liv replied hoping that was the case and not just that Aaron really didn't notice.

 

“When did this all start? When Aaron got out of prison?” Liv asked thinking maybe the stress of Aaron’s return caused the change in Robert.

 

“No, it started after he came back from meeting his new client John.”

 

Liv nodded and started making her way to the door. “Where are you going?” Noah asked.

 

“I'm going to the port-a-cabin to talk to Robert and get to the bottom of this. Cause this can't go on anymore.”

 

“Are you sure he's going to really tell you the truth.” Noah said knowing very well that Robert had a history of lying.

 

“No, but I need to try something.” Liv said before she left the room and started on her journey.

 

Liv walked slowly to the port-a-cabin in the hopes she would have a better idea of what she was going to say to Robert sadly nothing really came to mind but that wasn't going to stop her. When she finally arrived she was happy to see that Robert's Car was the only one parked out front which meant he was alone. 

 

_ “Ok, Liv you can do this.”  _ Liv told herself as she stood outside the door before she slowly knocked.

 

*Knock Knock*

 

The door quickly swung open so fast it caused Liv to jump. Clearly, Robert was expecting someone, however, that person wasn't her. “Liv?” Robert exclaimed very shocked she was standing there. Liv could also see that Robert looked almost as nervous as she felt.

 

“Hi, can I come in?” 

 

Robert just nodded and let Liv passed although as he did he quickly scanned the road ahead to see if a sadly familiar car was making its way towards toward them. Thankfully for the time being that wasn't the case. But he knew he was coming, John had been “nice” enough to text him earlier that day letting him know that he would be making an appearance today. And because Robert had been such a good golden boy lately he was going to give him a special treat. The idea of a treat cause Robert to go into a panic as he knew John’s gifts were never good not for him anyway. 

 

“ _ What does that monster have in store for me today?”  _ Robert asked himself.

 

“Robert?” Liv called out as she waited inside.

 

“”Sorry was just thinking about something else.” Robert replied as he reentered the port-a-cabin. Inside he found Liv sitting in his chair by his desk looking at her feet. She looked just like Aaron when he would want to talk about something that worried him. Clearly, whatever she  wanted to talk about wasn't good though he had a good idea what it was about. _ ”Shit this is about the panic attack earlier.”  _ Although he had hoped she would have forgotten about it and moved on but then again she's just like her brother.

 

“Robert, what happened earlier? I've never seen you like that and that freaks me out.”

 

“I'm just stressed from work Liv.”

 

“But it can't just be that, can it. Cause you're not eating and you're running every night. I know  about the pill and I know Aaron hasn't seen the change in you but I know something is wrong Robert and it's scaring me.” Tears started to form in Liv’s eyes. Robert couldn't help but feel guilty he thought he had been so careful in hiding everything. The last thing he wanted to do was worry Liv not when she's had to deal with so much already this year. 

 

“Liv there isn't anything. It really is just stress I promise you.” 

 

“If something is wrong then why not tell Aaron or let me help?” 

 

“Aaron has been through so much you both have. And if there was a problem which I'm not saying there is, it would be my problem to sort.”

 

“But Robert we’re family.If you have a problem we can get through it together. No matter what it is.” Liv exclaimed.

 

Liv was right Robert knew that but he was too scared of what he could lose if the truth came out.  _ “Would you really think of me as family if you knew the truth Liv?”  _

 

Before Robert could say anything else the door swung door revealing a man Robert never wanted Liv to meet.

 

“Well well, who's this Golden Boy?” John said with a huge smile on his face. Liv instantly felt every hair on the back of her neck stand up like her gut was warning her to get away. Robert stood in between them not wanting John to get any closer to Liv.

 

“This is Liv, Aaron’s sister and she was just going.” Robert said through gritted teeth but John didn't notice he was too busy looking at Liv in a way a grown man shouldn't look at a child. As if on cue Liv jumped to her feet wanting to get out of there as fast as she could.

 

“I really need to go I have homework.”

 

“Yeah, Liv why don't you head home we can talk later.” Robert said as he tried to move Liv pass John. But he slightly blocked their way.

 

“Whoa now, I sure homework could wait for a bit. I love to get to know a bit more about you Liv.” John said as he took Liv’s hand a lightly kissed it. This didn't feel right to Liv it felt wrong and dirty and she wanted to run.

 

Robert then grabbed his hand tightly cause him to let go of Liv’s. ”NO, Liv is going home now.” he then pushed John back so that they could both get through the door.

 

“Liv, you get home now and you don't look back.”

 

“Robert what about you?” Liv asked knowing something bad was going to happen if he stayed.

 

“I’ll be fine you just go. Now.” And with that Liv ran as fast as she could away from the port-a-cabin. When she was far enough away Robert then reentered only to be met with a punch to the gut.

 

“That was very rude Golden Boy and here I was going to treat you for your good behavior lately but I guess I need to teach you a lesson.” John said as he pulled Robert up by his shirt before throwing him onto his desk. He then pulled down Robert’s pants as he laid bend over.

 

“Need to teach a good hard lesson.” John said as undid his belt and jeans.

 

“ _ I rather get this lesson then Liv, I rather get this lesson then let you touch my daughter!”  _ Robert thought to himself over and over ignoring the pain as John thrust himself into him again and again till he felt he had made his point.

 

“Don't make me need to teach you that lesson again Golden Boy.” John whispered into Robert’s ear. 

 

Liv patiently waited for Robert to return home as a sense of worry growing in her gut. Something about that guy John wasn't right.  _ “Maybe he's the new client that caused all of this change in Robert?”  _

 

Liv jumped at the sound of someone coming through the door however it turned out only to be Aaron.

 

“Hey, you ok?” Aaron asked seeing his sister looked a bit off.

 

“Yeah just waiting for Robert, I need help with my homework.” Liv lied.

 

“Alright well, I'm heading through to the pub for a drink with Adam. You need anything just come through.”

 

“Ok, I will.” Liv said with her best fake smile which seemed to work. When Aaron left she turned her attention to the pictures that seem to never move from the table. Slowly she passed the time looking at each one laughing at how different Robert looked then. “ _ Did he really think long hair suited him?” _ Saw that Danny was really telling the truth that he was his mate. But there other pictures of a girl in them too her arm often around the both of them. She looked a bit like Robert too. Long blonde hair blue eyes. Liv wasn't sure how long she had been looking at the pictures when Robert finally appeared in the doorway of the living room. 

 

“You're right, something is wrong but thought I was dealing with it clearly I'm not as good as hiding things as I use to be.” Robert said with a small laugh though she couldn't see that funny side.

 

“Is it something to do with that man? Cause I don't like him, Robert.” 

 

“Yes but I'm going to deal with it. You wouldn't ever have to see him again Liv.” Robert said before he turned to go up the stairs.

 

I meant wat I said before Robert. we’re family.If you have a problem we can get through it together. No matter what it is.” Liv yelled out.

 

And although she was repeating herself it was like he was hearing it for the first time he knew he didn't need to deal with this alone. And even if it meant he would have to tell Aaron the truth about his past he knew he would be keeping John away from the people he cared about the most.

 

So once he made it to the bathroom and locked the door he pulled out his phone and finally called the number he should have called the second John showed his face in Emmerdale.

 

“Hello DS Wise, It's Robert. I'm calling because of my case. I know his real name now. It's John Duncan. Now let's put this bastard away.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So is there anyone here to read this or have I lost you all? please talk to me in the comments below or message me on Tumblr @ghost-online so that I can never leave an update for this long again. Again I'm so so s sorry!!


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO!! I hope everyone had a great Christmas, my lovely bf got me an iPod so that and I'm quoting him here "continuing to write my porno fics" so great. I got him lego lol OMG the Christmas episode was so good and yeah robron arent back together yet but we are on the right track. Sorry, its taking me ages to update I'm trying to get a new job as I need to leave my current one. Anyway, lets continue to the fic btw I want to give special thanks to hail-the-angel as she edited this chapter for me and she didn't need to. and Dairxoxo who is just lovely.

Robert woke that morning with a feeling of lightest he hasn’t felt in a long time. Like it was truly the start of something new, of course he was a bit nervous but Liv’s words about them being family repeated in his mind. Together as a family they had gotten through Gordon’s trial and Aaron’s time in prison they could get through this. It would be hard but Robert knew they could do it. He looked over his sleeping husband. Moments like were his favourite as Aaron looked so peaceful even after everything he’d been through, he looked so innocent.   
“ _ God, I love him. _ ” Robert thought as he quietly got out of bed trying so carefully not to wake the man beside him. And he was doing a good job of it too, until he tried to put his shoes on as he ending up tripping over his own feet, and having to catch himself on the bed to keep from falling. He tried to shake the bed as little as possible, but he mustn’t have succeeded as he heard a voice sound from behind him.   
“Robert? What are you doing?” Aaron asked, still half asleep. “Yeah, sorry I didn't mean to wake you. Go back to sleep.” “Why are you up?”   
“I've got a meeting so I need to go early and I don't know how long I’ll be.” Robert replied. He wasn't lying, he just failed to mention that the meeting was with the police. A detail he knew he would have to tell Aaron about later.   
“But it's Saturday.” Aaron protested. He loved just spending the morning in bed cuddling up with Robert.   
“I know and if it was any other meeting I wouldn't be going. But it's really important and I need to go. I promise I’ll be back as soon as I can. Now go back to sleep.” Robert said as he gently   
  
kissed Aaron’s forehead, watching as his husband drifted back to the land of dreams.   
Robert smiled as he looked over at his sleeping husband one last time before he left the room and made his way down the stairs. Honestly Robert felt like he was floating on air. His nightmare would be over soon and he could enjoy life again without having to look over his shoulder. A pleasure he hadn't had since he left Emmerdale at 19.   
Of course he knew that Aaron and his family would be upset with him for not telling any of them about John sooner or about his past. But the fear he felt was calmed by the knowledge that he and his family have already weathered worst storms. They could weather this.   
He decided to get something to eat before he left for the police station, feeling hungry for the first time in a while. He almost jumped out of his skin when he entered the living room as he didn't think he would see anyone up this early on the weekend. So he was shocked to see Liv sitting at the kitchen table eating some toast and again looking at his old pictures.   
“What are you doing up so early?”   
Liv’s head shot up not noticing Robert had been standing there for sometime.   
“I couldn't really sleep.”   
Robert felt a pang of guilt as he knew his odd behaviour the other day was the reason for Liv’s restless night.   
“Why are you up?” Liv asked as she knew he and Aaron liked to sleep in on the weekend and get up to things she didn't want to think about.   
  
“I have a meeting. I’m going to be dropping John, the man you met yesterday as a client which might take all day to do.”   
“Good,” Liv stated bluntly. “I didn't like him.”   
“Yeah, I didn't like him either.” Roberts voice was quiet as he walked closer to Liv. He stopped beside her and let his fingers run through her loose hair once before pulling his hand away.   
“And I promise you my weird behavior is going to stop and we can be a family again.”   
  


Liv couldn't help herself and hugged Robert from her seat at the table, hiding her face in his clothed stomach and arms tight around his middle.  
When she pulled back Liv gave him her most serious look and said. “Tell anyone I hugged you and I’ll cut up all your posh shirts.”  
Robert let out a huge laugh not expecting the threat but finding it funny anyway. “I won't even tell Aaron.”  
“Good.” Liv said before turning her attention back to the pictures. “You really like looking at these old pictures don’t you?” Robert asked as he had noticed she had been looking at his old pictures a lot lately ever since he found them.  
“Yeah, cause it's weird seeing you so-.”  
“Young? Cause I’m still young Liv.” The girl in question let out an indecent snort of amusement.  
“That’s pushing it. No, so carefree. I think- I can't explain it but you look so different with your friends.”  
Robert smiled as it was true, he had changed so much from when those pictures were taken.  
“Though I have to ask one thing.” Liv said  
“What?”  
“She’s not another Rebecca we need to worry about randomly showing up do we?” She asked pointing to a picture where Syd was kissing Robert on the cheek.  
“No, that’s Syd. And as shocking as it may sound we were nothing more than roommates and friends.”  
“Really?” Liv asked viewing the picture in a new light.  
“Yes! I can be just friends with a girl you know!”  
“Your recent report says otherwise.”  
“Oi!” Robert exclaimed, poking Liv’s side. “Honestly Syd was my best friend besides Danny of course when I was living in London. Some of the stories-” Robert shakes his head fondly, a grin threatening to break across his face. “You wouldn’t believe  
  
me if I told you. Like she use to wear this long silver chain with a crystal on it, right? She use to think it was lucky, and she was wearing it when we went to a casino one time. In fact it may have been lucky with how well Syd was doing. She was doing so well that she got told to leave the place. This really pissed Syd off so when we all get back to the flat she called the casino to complain about the guy who told us to leave and she described him as a bald, fat virgin.”  
“You’re joking? How drunk was she when she called them?” Liv asked incredulously, surprised at the story. Robert smirked at her reaction.  
“I’m not joking and she was totally sober! And even better was after she described the man the person on the other end replied ‘oh you mean Gerry!’”  
This caused Liv to laugh and Robert to smile at the memory. “Is it ok if we hang some of these pictures at the Mill? I mean there are so many pictures of Aaron with Adam and me with Gabby. I think it would be good to have some of you with your friends.”  
“I think that would be a great idea especially since the Mill is almost finished.”  
“I know I can't wait. Just you, me and Aaron. A perfect little family.”  
“Yeah.” Robert replied then he looked at his watch seeing that he was now pushing his luck and needed to leave for the police station or he would be late.  
“Right I need to head to my meeting and you should head back to bed for a few more hours sleep, it’s Saturday, nobody should be up this early.” And with that Robert kissed Liv on the head before he left the pub and made his way to his car. He could feeling his heart beating rapidly in his chest, due to a mixture of  
  
worry, excitement and a little bit of fear as he started the car. He looked at the pub one last time before he drove off. ‘“I’m doing this for them and I’m doing this for me.”  
————————————————————  
‘Thank you for all your information today, Robert.” DS Jason Wise said as he lead Robert out of the station.  
“Do really think I've given enough info to put that asshole away?” Robert asked feeling like he’s gone three rounds with Cain and lost every one.  
“I think you’ve giving enough that we can make a very good case. You’ve really helped today Robert.” Jason said as he patted Robert on the shoulder, knowing today was not easy for the young man but feeling proud of what he’s done.  
“Thanks, Jason. You’ll call me if anything happens?” Robert asked.  
“Yeah. Now why don’t you head home and rest it's been a long day.” The idea of rest was probably the best thing he heard all day. But he knew he needed to call someone first before he headed home. He answered on the third ring.  
“Hello, Dr. O’Hanlon speaking.” Robert took a calming breath before answering.  
“Danny, It’s Robert. I need to tell you something.” He could hear the rustle of fabric and the squeak of a chair on the other end as Danny moved to sit down.  
“Is everything ok? Did something happen?” The worry in Danny’s voice was palpable.  
“Yeah everything is fine, better than fine. Went to the police and to them about John.” All Robert could hear was silence on the other end. It lasted so long he thought maybe he had hung up on him.  
“Danny? Are you still there?”  
“Oh my god Robo that’s great! You really went to the police?”  
“Yeah I really did. And I’m even going to tell Aaron everything tonight as well too. Also I hope you don’t mind but I gave them your name as well in case they needed anymore info.”  
  
“Yeah, that’s no problem.” He could tell his friend was smiling on the other end of the phone.  
“And I even gave them Syd’s name so they may call her too. I know she won’t be happy about being left out of the loop but I know she’ll be happy to help in any way she can.” Rob said.  
“Wow, Robert I’m proud of you mate. I really am. And I know Aaron is going to support you 100%.”  
Robert couldn’t help but smile. “Thanks Danny that means a lot I know you didn’t want to help me at first but I’m happy you did.” 

Both men knew them reconnecting wasn’t a happy one but they were both happy to have me another in their lives again. “I am too. Even though your husband did think you and I were shagging at first.”

Both men laughed at the memory of the awkward moment probably one of the few funnier moments of that day.

“Listen Danny I need to head home but how about we meet for drinks next week and hang out like we used to?” Robert could almost Danny’s smile on the other end of the phone. **“** I’d like that very much Robo.” 

**“** Well I’ll see you then Dealer Danny D!” Robert hung up but quickly sent Aaron a text before he started his car.

**ROBERT: Hey that’s my meeting finally done I’m heading home now. Can’t wait to see you. X**

Halfway home Robert heard his phone ping. He slowed down to the side of the road to read the text he got.

**AARON: Must have been one hell of a meeting. Just come straight to the pub Liv and I are already here. Can’t wait to see you too, missed you all day. X**

 

Robert continues his drive happy with what he had achieved that day however there was still a sense of dread in the back of his mind as he could remember John’s warning. “ _ If you do go to the police I promise that your naive husband and everyone you know will become very aware of your time in the world's oldest profession. Do you understand? _ ” But Robert pushed it out of his head as it was nothing more than an empty threat right? And by the time John is arrested Robert knew he would have been able to tell Aaron everything about his past.

 

As Robert pulled up to the Woolpack he could hear music booming and the sounds of people cheering and laughing clear evidence of a Dingle party.” _ Well there goes my early night.”  _ Robert thought as he walked through the doors there in front of him was everyone he knew partying the night away.

 

“ROBERT!” Aaron shouted happy to see his husband and already a bit tipsy. “What’s going on here?” Robert asked though he knew the Dingles didn’t need a reason to threw a party. 

“Marlon and Carly are engaged!” 

“That’s great.” Robert exclaimed but Aaron could see something was wrong. “Are you ok?” 

“Yeah.” Robert replied as he wrapped his arms around Aaron’s waist. “It’s just been a long day.” He said as he leans in to kiss Aaron but a voice for backhand him causes him to stop in his tracks.

“Hope that has nothing to do with me.” Robert turns quickly and feels his heart stop as he sees John just standing there with a wicked smile on his face and anger in his eyes.

 

“Hello Golden Boy, I think you and I need to have a wee chat.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH SHIT NOO!!! well, tell me what you think on here or at Tumblr @ghost-online. And HAPPY NEW YEAR ROBRON FANDOM!!!!


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Reveal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY! I didn't mean for this chapter to take so long but the SL and real life caused my creativity to stop flowing. But thank god Robron are back together and all is good with the world! I just want to say thank you to anyone who is still reading this story I've been wanting to write this part from the very beginning. And special thanks to my editor Hail-the-angel who is awesome. A trigger warning is in place so you've been warned and enjoy!!

“John!” Aaron exclaimed happily. “What are you doing here?”    
  
“I hope you don’t mind me intruding on your party but I needed to have a little word with your husband.” John replied with eyes never leaving Robert’s. Before Aaron could say anything Robert quickly pulled John away to the end of the pub so no one could hear them. Leaving Aaron confused.   
  
“You need to leave. Now.” Robert said, trying to hide the fear in his voice. Scared about why John was there.    
“Oh, I don’t think so, Golden boy. Cause a little bird told me you went to the police and I remember saying something about that didn’t I?” John replied calmly with a smile on his face but Robert could see the rage in his eyes.   
  
“They called me asking about what I remember about my case. But I didn’t give them your name. I told them I still didn’t remember anything John I swear.” Robert could feel himself panic he knew what John was there to do but he hoped he could convince him otherwise. Sadly he couldn’t.    
  
“Bullshit, don’t lie to me Golden Boy you’re not good at it.” John growled smile now gone. “You went to the police, you told them about me and now you need to be punished.”   
  
“COULD I HAVE EVERYONE'S ATTENTION PLEASE!” John yelled out as he grabbed a drink off the bar. Robert felt like he was frozen to the spot not sure what to do next. Finally, the music was turned down and everyone turned their attention the well dressed stranger. “I just wanted to give my congrats to the lovely couple. Marriage is a beautiful thing, a relationship build on trust and honesty. I hope you have many years of happiness.”    
  
“That’s all nice words mate but who are you?” Cain called out not liking the look of this random guy. Then again Cain didn’t really like the look of many people.    
  
“Oh sorry, my name is John Duncan and I’m just a client of Holy Scrap well I was till today isn’t that right Robert?”   
  
  
Robert could feel all eyes on him in the pub. “Ah what? Why is that Rob?” Adam asked annoyed and confused as John had become one of their best clients.   
“Yeah Robert, why did you drop John?” Aaron asked. Sadly, John answered for him.   
  
  
“Well, he didn’t want to mix his two business together anymore, which, I understand. You know the old saying, ‘never mix business and pleasure’. Even if one involves being very pleasurable.”   
  
  
Robert felt his stomach turn as everyone in the pub looks at him with confusion in their eyes. He desperately tried to hold back his flinch when John leaned into him to whisper in his ear.   
  
  
“Isn’t that right Robert?” To anyone watching it looked as if he was trying to be seductive but Robert could hear the twisted satisfaction in his voice. Manipulating the truth like he always did.    
  
“You're lying.” Aaron said as he squared up to John, not liking this man making up lies about his husband. Robert was so happy Aaron was on his side but that was short lived.   
  
“Oh, am I? As I recall your lovely husband has a unique birthmark on his inner thigh. Which can be extra sensitive when kissed right.” Robert prayed Aaron would see through John’s lies but he felt his heart drop when he saw his husband’s face change from confusion to anger as John relaid that certain secret Aaron thought only he knew.    
  
“What is he on about Robert? How does he know that?” Aaron demanded but again John answered. “Well, Robert and I just resumed an old business arrangement we once had.”    
  
The pub went silence unable to believe what John was saying. John almost felt overjoyed with pleasure at the chaos he was unfolding.   
  
“Oh do you lot need proof? Here it is.” John said as he removed some pictures from the pocket of his jacket and spread them out on the bar.   
  
  
“I have to say it was a delight to get my hands back on the most popular real estate in London.”   
  
  
Robert felt everything stop as he looked at the pictures spread out for everyone to see because what they saw were Robert and John in all their glory. Different positions, different angles though sadly there was no way he couldn’t argue that it wasn’t him. But he couldn’t remember a time he and John could have done this, but then it hit him.    
  
“ _ He took these after he drugged me _ .”  Robert thought to himself yet the words never managed to come out of his mouth. As he knew for the first time in his life he couldn’t talk his way out of this without his less than tasteful past coming out.    
  
“Oh my god Robert.” Vic gasped, which brought Robert out of his thoughts as she looked at the pictures. He couldn’t look at her, he was ashamed that she was seeing him in a way he never wanted to show her. However, he was surprised Aaron didn’t react in the way Robert expected. Instead of just flying off the rails in anger. He just remained somewhat calm and turned his attention back to John though he didn’t even try to look at Robert.   
  
“And what do you mean getting your hands back on the most popular real estate in London?” Aaron asked anger could be clearly heard in his voice.    
“Yeah, don’t you mean real estate agent?” Vic said just as confused as everyone there but still trying to be positive that her brother didn’t do anything wrong even if the pictures seemed to say otherwise.   
  


“Cause Robert was a real estate agent when he lived in London, he told me that.”    
  
“No, my dear, the only real estate Robert here was selling was himself. And boy was he popular.’ John replied with a smug smile.  
  
  
“Are you saying Robert was-“ Aaron half asked but John cut him off.  
  
“A whore, hooker, rent boy, a man of the night. Whatever you want to call it, it's simple, your lovely husband was a prostitute. You could always find him in this little nightclub he hung around or in a flat he shared with his pimp-bitch he shared with. What was her name again? Sydney? She was a fun girl.”  
  
“You shut the fuck up about Syd!” Robert snapped as the image of Syd’s bloody and bruised face flashed in his mind.  
  
John enjoyed Robert’s reaction as it was all a game to him and he continued his torment. “And like I said he was the best in London and I’m happy to say he was more than happy to continue our old business deal. Speaking of which, here Robert, think of it as a final payment.”   
  
John then threw an envelope clearly packed with cash onto the bar. He started to make his way to the door as he had done what he set out to do. He had turned Robert’s world on its head. However, one last question stopped him before he could leave.  
  
  
“How long? How long have you two been sleeping with one another?” Aaron asked his eyes already red with tears.  
  
  
  
“A few months, but don’t worry it was just business. Later, Golden Boy.” And with that John was gone. Robert turned back to Aaron but before he even had a chance to open his mouth Aaron rushed off to the back. “AARON!” Robert called out as he followed him knowing he needed to explain, he needed to tell Aaron the truth, the real truth that was nothing like the twisted tales John just spat out.   
  
Robert followed Aaron into the living room to find him pacing back and fore.  
  
  
“Aaron,”  
  
  
“Remember once you said sleeping with me meant nothing to you, that you’ve slept with hundreds of men. I always thought you said it to piss me off cause we were fighting at the time but it was true! You just failed to mention you got paid for it!” Aaron screamed.  
  
  
“Yes! Ok, I sold myself but I had no choice, Aaron! I was 19 with no money and no one to turn too. Am I proud of what I did? No, but I did it to survive!” Robert shouted back.  
  
  
“And now? What’s your excuse for that? You’re not 19, you’re not on your own anymore. You have a family.You bored? Is that it? Not enough excitement for you so you started turning tricks again?” Aaron asked unable to understand what was happening, why the perfect life he had with Robert was falling apart.  
  
  
“It’s not like that Aaron, I promise. I wouldn’t cheat on you.”  
  
  
“But you did, didn't you. I've seen the fucking pictures Robert so there is no point lying.”  
  
  
“Aar-“  
  
  
“You know I was always worried that someone else would be the one to take you away from me. It never entered my mind that you would willingly cheat on me, but then again it's in your nature. Your history should have been a warning for me to stay away.” Aaron said with anger in his voice and tears in his eyes.  
  
  
“Donna, Katie, Chrissie, Rebecca. Even our Debbie knew what a snake you were, but like an idiot I chose to ignore it, think you were something better and look where that’s got me! Looking like a stupid fool.”   
  
Hearing those words felt like a punch to Robert’s gut. “Aaron.” Robert said softly as tears rolled down his cheeks. “I love you, I love Liv, I love our little family.”  
  
  
“You don’t know love! If you did you wouldn’t be fucking other people for money!”  
Aaron screamed with rage not caring if people in the pub could hear him he was already made a fool of once today what did it matter anymore.  
  
“I didn't do it for money! He ra-”  
  
  
“Oh, that makes it even better.” Aaron said scornfully, tears glistening in his eyes as he glared.  
  
  
“No, you don’t understand-“ Robert pleaded as he reached for Aaron’s hand but Aaron pushed him away.  
  
  
“I don’t want to understand, I wish I never met you! I wish you had listened to your dad and never returned to Emmerdale. Because Jack was right, you destroy everything you touch. You disgust me, Robert, now get out.” Aaron said before he took off his ring and laid it on the table, turning his back on Robert, unable to look at the man he loved anymore.  
  
  
Robert was living his worst nightmare, He felt as if the life he knew and loved was slipping through his fingers and there was no way of stopping it. He picked up Aaron’s discarded ring. “ _This can't be happening!_ ”. He screamed in his mind. He couldn’t lose Aaron, not like this. Not after everything they’ve been through only to be destroyed by the mistakes of his past and twisted truths.   
  
“Aaron please.” Robert said as he reached out to Aaron again.  
  
“I SAID GO!” Aaron yelled as he swung his arm back striking Robert across the face causing his nose to bleed. Aaron looked at him in horror at what he had done, but he had to use all his strength not to say sorry and hold his husband.   
  
“Just go Robert, please.” Aaron begged softly as tears rolled down his face. Robert just nodded knowing there was nothing he could say to change Aaron’s mind. John had won.   
  
Slowly Robert turned and walked away though he was still able to hear Aaron break down which broke his heart. In the pub, Robert was met with the judgmental faces of his friends and family. Then out of nowhere, Chas slapped him across the face.  
  
“I knew you would break my boy’s heart! But I thought it would be with that blonde bitch Rebecca, but selling yourself? Honestly thought you were better than that but then again it's you, Robert the trash king of Emmerdale, the boy who even his father didn’t want.”   
  
“Chas!” Diane exclaimed. She wasn’t proud of Robert right now but he didn’t need to hear that.   
  
“Oh, it's true Diane! We all know it! It’s why Jack liked Andy more because he could see even then that Robert had a black heart. Just wished you listened to him and stayed away. So here, take your sex money and fuck off!” Chas said, throwing the envelope into his hands. Robert just looked down at the envelope, his face completely blank of emotion. He then just drop the envelope onto the floor and began to walk out of the pub as if in a trance. However just before he stepped out the pub and into the Yorkshire rain, he turned back to the people in the pub.   
  
“I’m so sorry.” Then he was gone.  
  
________________________________________  
  
John didn’t need to stay to see Robert’s life unfold, he had places to be. So after a quick drive not too far from Emmerdale, but far enough so that unwanted eyes wouldn’t see them.  
  
John smiled to himself as he stood out in the rain under an umbrella waiting for his anonymous business partner.    
  
John couldn’t stop replaying the look on Robert’s face as he revealed his hidden past to all his family and lovely husband.  
“Honestly it's days like this where I just need a Cuban cigar, an ass between my legs and a glass of whiskey. Sadly I think golden boy is busy tonight so its just going to have to be a glass of whiskey and a cigar.”    
  
Soon John’s thoughts were interrupted by the sight of an expensive car approaching. They rolled down their window. “So do you have what I want?”   
“Hey, as well as a few clips that I threw in for you.” John said as he handed over a DVD copy of his and Robert’s lovely times together.   
  
“Are you sure he’s not going to cause any problems because I know how he thinks, he’ll want revenge.”  
  
John smiled.”I can promise you he’s not brave enough to try anything.”  
  
“Well he still went to the police so maybe you’re not as intimidating in your old age.” John felt jaw tighten with anger as his age has always been a sore spot but he didn’t bite back. He wasn’t stupid he knew his partner’s family had more money then he did and more connections.  
  
“Well, I think he’ll be too busy dealing with his family knowing some new facts about him to care.”   
  
“Good.”  
  
“Plus if anything does happen I still have our emails so I’m sure you’ll help me with my little police problem. As I doubt people would be too pleased with the part you play, don’t you think?”   
  
John’s partner said nothing, just rolled up their window and drove off, because they both knew John was right. If their partnership came out, the little respect the White family had in Emmerdale would be gone forever.   
  
—————————————————————  
  
Robert walked aimlessly down the Main Street of Emmerdale, clothes soaked through and unsure where to go. He knew he couldn’t go back to the pub and he didn’t want to face Danny. Honestly, he wanted to be alone with his shame. So he went to the only place he had left, the mill.   
The place that was meant to be his forever home and his happy ending.  
  
“ _Well, at least it can still be my temporary shelter from the rain._ ” Robert thought as he made his way to the building.   
  
Once he was there he tried the door only to find it locked. He almost laughed, as it was like his future home didn’t even want him. However, the problem was solved quickly by his elbow going through the door window. Within minutes Robert was inside, looking around at the almost finished home thinking of all the things that were meant to happen, but because of today he knew would never be.  
  
Robert looked around the almost finished home with tears in his eyes. “ _This was meant to be our home, but now there is no way Aaron will even look at me, let alone let me explain the truth.”_ Robert thought to himself as he ran his shaking hands through his hair, frustrated at everything.   
  
He couldn’t help but feel mad at Danny for telling him to go to the police, which caused John to reveal it all. Mad at Aaron for listening to John and not letting him explain the truth. Mad at John, of course, for causing him so much pain. Robert was even mad at his own dad for kicking him out at a young age and causing him to turn to a life of turning tricks.   
  
But really Robert knew the only person to blame and deserved all his anger and the true source of all his pain was himself. His mistakes and lies had finally caused him to be alone. The one thing he feared the most. As he paced back and fore in the room that was meant to be his living room when his phone beeped. Quickly he pulled his phone out of his pocket hoping Aaron maybe had texted him wanting to talk properly. However, Robert felt his face fall as he saw the text was from his sister.  
  
**VIC: Robert where are you? We need to talk now! How could you cheat on Aaron after everything you two have been through?!** **  
**  
Robert could feel his blood begin to boil as he read the text over and over then he finally snapped. “I WAS RAPED !” Robert screamed as he threw his phone and anything he could get his hands on. When the haze of anger finally lifted did he see the damage he had caused. Most of the living room had been destroyed as well as some of the kitchen.  
  
“Oh god.” He said out loud as he slowly walked around. A sharp pain in his feet made him look down and he saw a few small drops of blood from stepping on the broken glass. He began sobbing as he looked at the ground. Because at his feet was a picture, a picture of their wedding day, now broken and torn just like their relationship.   
  
Robert sunk down to the floor and leaned against a wall, his knees pulled up to his chest. He then looked at the full-length mirror across from him, now cracked and broken like many items in the mill, like himself.   
  
But as he looked at the broken mirror all he could see was his nineteen-year-old self. The cause of all his current pain. “I really do break and poison everything I touch. And I can't do this anymore, I can't do this to the people I love anymore.” Robert thought as he slowly took off his soaked jacket and rolled up his sleeves.   
  
Then picked up a piece of glass from his broken wedding photo. He stared at it for a long moment, then without any hesitation, he pushed the glass against his skin. He didn’t really feel anything, not the pain of the glass piercing his skin or the warmth of his own blood. Just the emptiness that had settled around his heart like a blanket. He let the glass slide from his hand on to the ground and waited for the edging darkness to take him forever.   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And sadly Robert dead on that floor alone...THE END. IM JOKING! IM JOKING!! It's not over yet. So what did you think? please tell me in the comments below or yell at me on snapchat my name is kelseymac92 or find me on Tumblr @ghost-online.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry. I cant apologie enough I didn't mean to no post anything for so long. I honestly have been writing but work has really been playing a toll on me to the point that I'm getting headaches. But things have calmed down a bit. But regardless I'm back I will try not to be away for so long. I hope you like this chapter.

Liv had been upstairs with Noah making a surprise for Robert when she heard the party go quiet. That alone should have been a warning that something bad was about o happen, as a Dingle party going quiet was an almost unnatural thing. 

 

So slowly she left her room and stood at the top of the stairs as she heard everything. From John in the pub to Aaron in the back. She was still standing here when she watched a broken Robert just walked away. Liv wanted to be mad from what she heard Robert had broken Aaron’s heart and torn their little family apart.  

 

But the way Robert looked as he left caused a knot to form in her gut. And the voice in her head told her that there was something more that he wasn’t saying and that Aaron didn’t know. Something very important. Liv was so wrapped in her own thoughts that she didn’t notice that Chas or the rest of the Dingle clan had rushed to see Aaron. When Liv finally snapped back to reality she quickly ran through where she found Chas’ arms wrapped around Aaron as he sat blanked faced with tears rolling down his face.

 

“Aren’t you going to go after him?” Liv asked surprised Aaron was just sitting there. 

“You are joking, right? The best thing that bastard has done so far is go!” Chas yelled anger Liv would even suggest that idea. Liv however just ignored her as if she hadn’t said anything.

 

“Aaron you need to go after him, he’s your husband, we are his family and he needs us. We need to go after him.”

“LIV STOP!” Aaron shouted not wanting to hear the word coming out of Liv’s mouth. “He’s not family, not anymore.’’ 

 

Liv was shocked by what Aaron said after everything they had been through and how he wasn’t going to fight.

‘But didn’t you hear the hurt in his voice? Something is wrong!” Liv yelled back.

 

“The only thing I heard was Robert try to lie his way out of it. Like he always does. He’s dead to us Liv, Ok? The second he slept with that prick. So just forget about him.” Aaron said then he reached out and took Liv’s hand. 

 

“It’s just the two of u now, we are still family. We don’t need him.” 

 

“No, FUCKING NO!’ Liv yelled as she pushed Aaron away. 

 

“After everything he did for you, finding me, saving your life. Countless times Robert has bent over backward to give you everything you needed. And now when he needs you, you’re just going to walk away? Well, you may want to turn your back on him but I’m not. I’m going to find him and help hi cause no matter what he has done he’s still my family, maybe you’re not.”

 

That’s when Chas jumped up from the couch and slapped Liv across the face. “Mum!’ Aaron said shocked while the other Dingle members gasped at what she had done.

 

‘No she needed a snap.’ Chas said to Aaron before she turned back to Liv and she went up close to her face and through gritted teeth Chas said.”How dare you choose that man over your brother. After he taken you in and made you one of the family.’ 

 

But Liv wasn’t going to back down.”Family? The whole lot of you are just fucking hypocrites. Whenever you lot mess up you band together and help that member out but when it's someone who really isn’t a ‘Dingle’ messes up you kick them out. If that what being part of this family really means I’d rather be out on the streets with Robert.” 

 

Before Aaron or any other Dingle could say anything else Liv legged it. She ran from the back through the pub a fast as she could. Once outside she just stood there, rain quickly soaking her clothes, unsure where to look first. All he knew was that she felt like time was slipping away. Fast. ‘Liv.” A voice called out from behind she turned to see Noah standing in the pub doorway.

 

“I’m not going back, I need to find him.’ Liv said.

“I know, I want to help.” Noah replied. That made a small smile appear on Liv’s face, pleased someone was on her side. 

 

“I’ll check Vic’s place if you want.” Noah asked. 

“Ok, I’ll check the mill. If he’s not there or at Vic’s, we’ll meet back here and think where else we can look next.” Liv said Noah just nodded then the two ran off in different directions. Liv pushed herself to run as fast as her legs could take her.

 

Soon she was at the Mill she was almost happy to see the window of the front door was broken as it meant he must have been there. However unknown to her that happiness would be short lived because as soon as she pushed opened the door. She was met with chaos. Broken glass littered the floor and what little furniture that was in the Mill was either upturned or destroyed completely. 

 

“ _ Woah _ .” Liv thought as she stepped over the pieces of glass and wood. All were evidence of a type of rage Liv didn’t think Robert was even capable of. “Robert?” She called out cautiously unsure what state she would find Robert in. Yet not in a million years did she think she would ever find him the way she did. 

 

Slumped against the wall, pools of blood at both wrists and white as a ghost. “Oh god, Robert!” Liv cried as she rushed to his side. Quickly she removed her wet jacket and hoodie and wrapped both around his wrists and applied pressure hoping that will stop the bleeding. Though as she wasn’t sure if Robert was even alive.

“Come on Robert, please still be alive.” Liv begged as tears ran down her face. 

 

As soon as she was sure her jacket and hoodie were tightly secured. She began to search her pockets trying to find her mobile only to realize she left it back at the pub. “Fuck!” 

Liv carefully padded Robert’s pocket hoping his phone was there. Unfortunately, he’s wasn’t so she started crawling on her knees going through the mess on the floor hoping that it was somewhere there and not in the pub like hers. 

 

She racked through broken glass and rubbish cutting up her hands yet she didn’t care Robert needed help, that is all that matter. “Where is it?, Come on where is it?!” Liv yelled out in frustration. Then just when she was on the brink of giving up and running out of the Mill to get help. It was as if someone from upstairs was on their side. Cause there under a ripped pillow and broken table with only a cracked screen as damaged was Robert’s phone. “YES!” Liv called out before she quickly tried in 999. “It’s going to be ok, don’t worry it's going to be ok.” Liv said to Robert who had yet to make a sound. After a few rings and a few silence prays a voice at the other end answered and asked.

 

“999, what’s your emergency?”

 

“Hi, my brother-in-law has cut both his wrists. I've wrapped them up but there is a lot of blood and he isn’t talking.” Liv quickly rattled off the important information. 

 

“Ok, that was a smart idea keep applying pressure to the cuts to stop any more bleeding. Can you tell me if he is breathing or has a pulse?”

 

It was a question that that feared her the most because the fact was she didn’t know if he was alive or not. Part of her didn’t want to check in case she was too late, an idea she didn’t didn’t want to deal with. Slowly though she reached out her shaking hand out to his neck. He was cold to the touch, his lips had an almost blue tint to them however against the odds she was able to feel a pulse, it was very weak yet it was still there, Robert was still alive. Liv released a gasp of air she didn’t even realize she was holding.

“Yes, he has a pulse!’ Liv yelled to the operator.

 

“Yeah great. Now I need you to tell me your location.” 

 

Liv rapidly told the operator the address of the Mill knowing that because of all accidents and crashes that happen in Emmerdale the hospital knows the fastest ways getting there. Though liv was still worried it wasn't fast enough. 

 

“Liv?” Robert weakley said unsure if she was there or just his mind playing tricks on him. 

 

“Yeah, it's me, Robert, I’m here.” Liv replied with a small smile on her face so happy to hear his voice.

 

Robert felt so tired and just wanted to sleep but he knew he needed to say what he needed to say.

“I'm sorry.” Robert said with tears dripping down his face. Liv thought he was talking about the fact he cut his wrists. “Shh, Don't say that it's going to be ok, I've called for help.” 

 

Yet Robert continued as if he hadn't heard her though he had as he knew he needed to tell someone the truth as he could feel the darkness creep over him again. And he knew that if he didn’t say anything now the truth may never be known.

 

“I didn't want it Liv, I didn’t want it but he made me.”  Robert repeated over and over Liv had no idea what he was talking about nevertheless whatever it was, it was causing Robert to become very upset. Which she knew wasn’t good given his current state.

“Hey, hey it's ok, you need to calm down Robert. Whatever it is, it doesn’t matter.” Liv said.

“Yes, it does cause I didn’t want it to happen.” Robert whispered as he felt himself slowly begin to fade. Liv could even see the already dim light in his eyes start to darken. It was then she knew he needed to stay awake till the ambulance arrived. 

 

“Tell me what happened Robert. What were you made to do?” Liv asked as she leaned in close so that Robert could whisper it to her. And it was then she heard something she never imagined he would say.

 

“John did what?” Liz asked in shock as tears rolled down her face. However, she was met with silence. “Robert?” And again silence. Panic started to build within her. 

 

“Robert please talk to me!” She screamed her voice breaking as she began to sob. “ROBERT!”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again I'm sorry about the wait. I hope you liked it and that I haven't lost my mojo cause of my soul-killing job. please tell me what you think of it below or message me on Tumblr @ghost-online or on Instagram @kelseymacleod1992


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at this a new chapter and you guys didn't even have to wait a month!! you can thank Jess who added me on snapchat and inspired me to finish the chapter way sooner then I thought I would. So *hint hint* added me on snapchat(kelseymac92) or talk to me on Tumblr @ghost-online and I write faster! thank you for the kudos. And I hope you enjoy this one.

“ROBERT!” Liv screamed a she frantically shook his shoulders. She tried desperately to get him to make a sound, a gasp, even a whisper. Anything to let her know he was still alive. Liv could feel her actions becoming more uncontrollable as she begged for him to hear her. “ROBERT! PLEASE TALK TO ME, PLEASE YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME!”.   
  
She so focused on Robert she hadn’t even noticed the paramedics enter till one of them pulled her away from the unresponsive blonde. She stood on in shock, shaking and biting her thumb as she watched helplessly as they worked on the man she saw as a second brother and sometimes a father.   
  
The paramedics said things she didn’t understand but she could tell from the looks on their faces it was serious. In minutes they rushed to get Robert onto their stretcher and quickly carried him outside. Liv wasn’t far behind as they lead him to their ambulance. She didn’t wait for them to ask if she was coming or not. She was going with him, Liv knew that for sure, it didn’t matter that seeing him in this state scared her more than any nightmare. It didn’t matter.   
  
After what Robert had just told her and the realization he had been going through that all alone she couldn’t let him be alone now.  She didn't care that he might not even be aware she was there with him and holding his hand, that didn’t matter as they were family and that’s what family did.   
  
Swiftly she jumped into the back of the ambulance just as the doors were about to close. Liv sat with Robert while the paramedic worked tirelessly.    
  
As the ambulance sped along to the hospital Liv kept caressing Robert’s cold hand, scared if she stopped he would disappear. A ring from the forgotten phone she had shoved into her pocket caused her to jump. Immediately she answered without looking at the ID.   
“Aaron?” Liv said thinking her brother finally decided to talk to Robert. Sadly she was wrong.   
“Liv?” Danny said instantly, confused on why she would answer Robert’s phone.    
“Is everything ok? Where is Robert?” Danny asked as worry began to grow as he could hear Liv sob. He could also hear other voices in the background. Liv tried hopelessly to calm herself, to explain everything, it didn’t help that she was currently watching a member of her family fighting for his life.”It's Robert….He tried to kill himself.”    
  
Danny sat up instantly from his seat, totally shocked as he had only spoken to Robert earlier that day and he sounded happy like a weight had been lifted. So what in god’s name happened between that phone call and now Danny thought. “What the fuck happened that made Robert want to try to end his life again?”  Danny mumbled to himself before he asked Liv. “Where are you now?” He tried to sound somewhat calm as he knew that last thing the young girl on the other end needed was him being in a panic.    
  
“We’re currently in the ambulance but we will be at the hospital soon.” Liv said. The “we” Danny didn’t miss, which meant she was the one who found him. Just her? Where was Aaron? If it was just her then...    
“Shit.” He cursed to himself as he remembered how bad it affected him when he simply found out about Robert first suicide attempt. God only knows how finding Robert will effect Liv if it was just her. He knew the young girl must be freaking out, he was and he was an adult.    
  
“Ok, Liv I’m going to meet you at the hospital. Alright? Just stay calm, I’ll meet you there .” Danny said as he rushed around his half-empty flat, grabbing his jacket and keys.   
“Ok.” Liv hiccuped. “We are at the hospital now.”    
  
“I’m leaving now Liv, I’ll be there in a few minutes.” Danny said before he hung up his phone. He ran to his car and jumped in. However, he just sat there quickly and quietly thinking if he should or shouldn’t make a call he regretted not making earlier.   
“Fuck it.’’ Danny thought as he dialed an old number he knew off by heart and hoped hadn’t changed. It rang a few seconds before they finally answered. Danny sighed with relief when a familiar voice answered.   
  
“Hey, it's me, Danny. Wherever you are I need you to meet me at Hotten General Hospital now. It's urgent, it's Robert.”    
  
  
__________________________________________________________________   
  
Noah had gone to Vic’s house but seen Robert wasn’t there. So instead of going back to the pub like him and Liv agreed he searched around Emmerdale. Looking anywhere Robert could be hiding out. Sadly he wasn’t having an luck. “I hope Liv’s found him.”  Noah thought to himself.    
  
Finally he decided to go to the mill hopping Liv had found Robert. Unfortunately all Noah found was broken glass and blood. “Oh god no.”   
__________________________________________________________________   
  
Aaron stared at his half-empty pint for god knows how long, he pushed the grief for his broken relationship aside, and turned that pain into anger. Anger at Robert, at John, at himself. Because how foolish he was for thinking he could be happy. Aaron glanced behind him at the now almost deserted pub. Many of the Dingles had left after Aaron had calmed down didn’t think it was right to celebrate the start of one marriage while another ended. Although Kerry and Vanessa had arrived from town late for the party only to be caught up quickly by Charity. She even showed them the pictures John left when Aaron wasn’t looking.   
  
“God who knew Robert could be so flexible.” Vanessa joked, trying to make light of the sad situation. But Kerry looked more concerned as she looked at the pictures. “Something isn’t right with Robert’s eyes.’’ However, no one really listened to her and Chas quickly snatched the pictures away from Charity.    
  
“You alright mate?” Adam asked as he patted Aaron on the shoulder. Temporarily distracting him from his anger.   
  
“What do you think?” Aaron snapped before he downed the rest of his pint.   
  
“Shit, sorry mate I wasn’t thinking.”   
  
“It’s ok, I’ll be alright. I just need to get Robert’s stuff out of the mill cause there is no way I’m taking him back. Not after all this.” Aaron said as he mentally kicked himself for being so stupid. Once again Robert had let him down. Just like back when they were nothing but an affair.   
  
“If you want I’ll help you put his crap in the trash cause I’m telling you now there is no way he's staying with me and Vic.” Adam replied.   
  
Aaron looked over at Vic and Diana who were still sat in the back booth. Clearly still very upset with everything that unfolded.    
  
“Thanks mate.” Aaron said with a small smile before his phone buzzed with Robert’s name on the screen.   
  
“Is he still trying to call you?” Chas said as she leaned over the bar. “Yeah sixth time and no I’m not answering. Though I better go and find Liv.’’ Aaron said as he slowly got up from his seat.    
  
“I think you should let that little madam stay out there in the rain for a bit longer after the way she spoke to you.’’    
  
“She’s just a teenager plus she doesn’t really know Robert, apparently none of us do.”   
  
Before anything else could be said without warning Noah appeared like a bat out of hell, panting like he’d just ran a marathon. “AARON!! You need to come to the mill something has happened! There’s broken glass and blood everywhere.”    
  
Confused and concerned by what Noah said Aaron ran out to the mill with Adam and Cain not far behind him. He was shocked to see that Noah was right. It was like a mini hurricane had ripped through the mill and destroyed everything. And even worst there in the corner were two pools of blood. Yet what really caused Aaron’s heart to stop was the sight of Liv’s hoodie covered in blood on the floor.    
  
Slowly Aaron picked it up his hands trembling with fear and rage. “Aaron, Vic called, she’s saying that Kerry saw an ambulance pass her taxi as they were coming back a while ago.” Adam said as he stood in the doorway with Cain standing silently next to him.    
  
“If he’s hurt Liv I’m going to kill him.” Aaron growled as he turned towards the door rage filling his veins. “Whoa there.” Cain said as he tried to stop Aaron from doing something stupid. “I know Sugden has done some shit stuff but you don’t actually think he’d hurt Liv do you? You know he wouldn’t hurt her.”   
  
Aaron looked at him with a look Cain had never seen before. “I think today has shown I don’t know him at all.”   
  
__________________________________________________________________

  
Danny knew he must have ran at least three red lights getting to the hospital but that didn’t matter, his friend’s life was hanging by a thread and there was a young girl sitting alone and scared.    
  
When he got to the hospital he thankfully knew where to go without even asking. As he had once worked there before he decided that working as a GP would be less stressful. Within minutes he was in the right ward and what he found broken his heart. There sat Liv, tear marks on her face, clearly shaking and wearing a shirt with blood on it that he knew was not her own.   
  
“Liv.” Danny called out softly as he walked over to her. Liv jumped into his arms when she saw him, relieved she was no longer alone. “They took him through when we got here but they won't tell me anything.” Liv said.   
  
“Ok, I’ll see if I can find out anything. Have you called Aaron?” Danny asked.   
  
“Yes but he’s not answering.’’    
  
“Alright, I’ll call him maybe he’ll answer to me. Shit Liv your hand.’’ Danny said as he saw a huge cut on the top of her hand.   
  
“I must of cut it at the mill when I was looking for Robert’s phone. There was a lot of broken glass.”    
  
“Ok, you need to get this checked out. Nurse!” Danny called out getting the attention of the nearest nurse and informing her of the issues.   
  
“But I need to stay here so they can tell me about Robert!” Liv protested.   
  
“I will find out about Robert and tell you anything as soon as it is told to me. But first I’m going to try and call Aaron. OK?” Danny asked. Liv thought about what he said and as must as she wanted to stay her hand was starting to cause her great pain.    
  
“Fine.”    
  
“Oh take this.” Danny said as he took off his jacket and draped in over her shoulders shielding the bloody shirt from sight. “We don’t need nosey people asking questions that are none of their business.”    
Liv whispered a small thanks before she left with the nurse. Danny looked at his phone sadly he didn’t have a signal. “Well, that’s fucking great.” Danny thought as he ran his hand through his hair. He made his way back outside the hospital in the hopes a signal would appear.   
  
Thankful once he reached the outside doorway bars came to life. Rapidly Danny dialed Aaron’s number. He thought his luck would be better then Liv’s nevertheless he was met with the neutral dull tones of the voicemail message.    
  
“Hey Aaron, its' me Danny. I’m here at the hospital with Robert and Liv. I don’t know how Robert is doing but Liv is scared shitless so I hope that as soon as you hear this you get down here.’’   
  
As he hung up he suddenly felt the strong craving for nicotine. “I really pick the wrong week to quit.’ Danny mumbled after he popped a cigarette into his mouth.    
  
He enjoyed the brief moment of peace as he breathed in the toxins and tar into his lungs, a voice of an old friend spoke out behind him.   
  
“You know, smoking outside a hospital doesn’t really look good.”   
  
Danny turned around to see that Cheshire Cat smile he remembered so well. He could see that she had lost some weight, he hair was shorter only to her shoulders and brunette now though there was still some blonde at the ends. Clearly, she was doing well by the expensive clothes she wore. But none of it mattered because those grey eyes were still the same, he knew she was still the same.   
  
“Hey Syd, you look good.” Danny said throwing his cigarette to the ground.   
  
“No, you look good, I look amazing.’’    
  
Danny couldn’t help but laugh, she really hadn’t changed. “Still as humble as I remembered.”   
  
“I know, I didn’t really change too much, even after six years of not seeing you or hearing from you.”   
  
Danny felt a sharp pang of guilt for the long silence between them. “I’m sorry about that Syd, I really am.”   
  
“I know, but we’ll always have Paris.” Syd replied as she leaned against the hospital wall. A confused Danny looked at her and said. “But we never went to Paris.” And as quick as ever Syd replied. “I know and who’s fault is that.” Danny laugh at her random comment feeling very much like old times.

"I'm happy you're here Syd."   
  
“Why am I here Danny? Why did I have to leave an important business meeting urgently? What’s going on with Robert?”   
  
Danny sighed and readied himself for the fury that he knew was about to erupt. “I’ll tell you but I warn you now you will not like it.”   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay Syd is here but will she be happy about everything that has been going on? Tell what you thought of the chapter in comments below as I love hearing from you guys


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO PEOPLE!! I'm so sorry I've been away for ages but I need to get my health sorted and I have so no more headaches which has made work less stressful too. June was a busy month, my bf graduated from training so proud and I turned 26. It was lovely my bf gave me my gifts at midnight looked me in the eyes and told me I'm old....that's true love right there. Anyway I want to give a shout out to my lovely editor Hail-the-angel and to my amazing best mate who helped write these chapters BulletEmbrace

Aaron wanted to be the one who drove however both Adam and Cain were adamant that if Aaron drove while he was in the state he was in. The three of them were more likely to end up in body bags rather than the hospital.

  
So impatiently Aron sat in the back with his phone glued to his hand. He had quickly sent his mum a text when he first got into the car, telling her as much as he knew and to meet them at the hospital as quick as she could. Aaron honestly didn't know what else he could do, he saw he had a huge amount of missed calls and voicemails from Robert’s phone.

  
Yet Aaron couldn’t bring himself to even listen to his soon to be ex husband's voice let alone call him back. So without even listening he deleted all the messages. However, it wasn’t all the messages, as there appeared to be a voicemail from a number he didn't recognised. A confused Aaron played the message, hoping it was the hospital with some info about Liv.   
So you could imagine his shock when he heard Danny’s voice instead. “What the hell?” Aaron thought as the message when on. Soon any shock started to change into a mixture of anger and confusion.

  
Anger because the voicemail only seemed to confirm to him that Robert was somewhat involved with his sister being in the hospital. Even though Danny hadn’t outright said that it's just what Aaron’s gut told him.

  
And he was confused as to why Danny would even be at the hospital in the first place.  _ “Had Robert called him when he couldn’t get through to me?” _ Aaron asked himself. Then Aaron thought back to when he first met Danny, in his bedroom with Robert. Maybe there was more going on with them then Aaron really knew. Maybe Robert was sleeping with Danny just like he was with John, Aaron told himself. He felt like a fool.

  
Robert he been playing him and he didn't even see it. The idea of Robert fooling around with different people right under his nose only fuelled Aaron’s rage more.   
————————————————————————————————

  
To say Syd was upset didn't even come close to describing how she truly felt but the words ‘fucking raging’ would work.

  
“Seriously that fucking monster crawls back out of the woodworks and neither one of you thought it was a good idea to call me? For god sake Danny I could’ve helped! I mean, didn't I help before? Didn’t I help Robert get out of London and move to Leeds without John knowing? We could have done that again. Long before it got this bad.”

  
Syd shouted at Danny outside the hospital. Danny just sighed, he knew Syd was going to be mad but he didn't think she would be this upset.

  
“Okay......umm. Look, Syd, I'm sorry okay? But we didn't want you getting involved after last time, you ended up in the bloody hospital and I- I mean we couldn't handle that again... plus Robert sort of has or at least had a family here so he can't just disappear like before but that's a story for another time, right now I'm just glad you’re here."   
“Oh you two couldn't handle it? It was me in the hospital, not you, and I handled it just fine so don't you dare use that crap against me. Oh and I'm glad I'm here in the hospital again, cause Robert tried to kill himself again and he got involved with John again, I love how we are going full circle here. What next? You going to go off the deep end on drugs and leave without saying goodbye for another 6 years?" Syd shot back.

  
“You know how much it hurt Robert when you end up in hospital because of him. The guilt really fucked him up so don't start. And as for me it hurts seeing someone you... never mind, like you said full circles and all that. Look let's leave the past for now, focus on what happens next because I don’t know what’s going on. All I know is that Robert is hurt and there is a poor girl inside who loves Robert just as much as you do and it scared out of her mind.”

  
That seemed to hit Syd as it caused her anger to fade. “Blondie has a kid?” Syd asked with a soft smile, as she always thought Robert would make a great dad.

  
“She’s his fifteen-year-old sister-in-law but I think he sees her as a daughter. They have a special bond. But like I said before she inside alone so can we please just stop fighting and go and find out what the hell is going on?”

  
Syd paused for a moment. As much as she wanted to keep fighting she knew Danny was right, which she really hated. “Fine. But this, between us? It's not over.” Danny nodded. “Well...lead the way Dealer Danny D.”

  
Danny rushed through the hospital with Syd not far behind him as he made his way back to the ward where he left Liv. When the two of them got there Danny saw Liv still in his oversized hoodie causing her to appear younger than she was. Her hand was wrapped up and Danny couldn’t help but think of a lost puppy when he looked at her. It broke his heart.  _ “She shouldn’t be going through all this. _ ” Danny thought to himself.

  
Liv didn’t notice the two adults walking over to her as she was too busying looking down at something in her hand.

  
“Liv?” Danny called out to get Liv’s attention. She jumped slightly but quickly calmed herself. “Danny, did you get through to Aaron?” She asked, hoping he’d had better luck then she did.   
“No, but I left a voicemail so hopefully he'll get it and rush here soon.”

  
Liv nodded, though she was clearly still very worried which both Danny and Syd understood. It was then that Liv noticed Syd standing next to Danny. To Liv she didn’t know who she was however did look familiar. It took a few seconds for the penny to drop and click who she was.   
“You’re Syd aren’t you? Robert’s former flatmate and friend.”

  
Syd was a bit taken aback that the young girl knew who she was. “Yeah, how do you know about me?” Syd asked.

  
“Robert told me about you and I recognised you from the pictures.” Liv said as she showed Syd the photo she had been looking at before. Syd couldn’t stop a small smile from appearing on her face as she stared at the picture from happier times. A scarce contrast from what was happening now.

  
“Let me guess Robert told you about my amazing personality and cool wit.”   
  
“He told me about the time you got kicked out of casino then called them to say the bouncer was a virgin.” Liv replied quickly a smile faintly noticeable on her face.   
  


“Of course he did.”   
  


“Liv can you tell us what happened? Why would Robert try to kill himself? I called him earlier today and he sounded so happy.” Danny asked as he still couldn’t get his mind around what had happened.

  
“Aaron and Robert had a huge fight.”

  
“Because?” Syd asked as she knew there had to be more to the story and sadly there was.

  
“A guy named John that Robert had worked with showed up at the pub and claimed that he and Robert were having an affair. And John even said he was paying Robert for it like he use to-” Liv paused for a moment.

  
“When Robert was a prostitute.”

  
“Fucking bastard” Syd muttered feeling a rage reignite within her for a man she never thought she would have to think about again.

  
“Fuck.” Danny exclaimed as he ran his hand through his hair. “He knew Robert went to the police.”

  
“What?” Both Syd and Liv asked confused.

  
“John told Robert if he went to the police about how John was blackmailing him and how he...”

  
“And how he what Danny.” Syd asked although she knew the answer. “And how he had raped him.”

  
“No.” Liv said as tears began to roll down her cheeks. She couldn’t believe this horrible act had happen again to another person she loved.

  
“I’m going to find Robert’s doctor and tell them they need to call the police as this will effect the case.” Danny said he went to leave but Syd stopped him.

  
“No, we should call my dad and let him call some lovely people who specialize in breaking bones.”

  
“Syd we can't.”

  
Syd pulled Danny away so they could talk in private away from Liv who had sat back down in shock trying to process everything she had learned.   
  
“Danny why can't we? I mean this asshole didn’t just hurt Robert last time, but both of us as well! And he got away with it! And now he’s come back, hurt Rob again and a whole lot of other people. He needs to be punished.”

  
“You’re right, he does. But let's do it the right way, let's do it so that everyone can know the truth about him. And see him as the monster we know he is.”

  
Syd knew he was right however that didn’t mean she liked it. Danny could see that by the look on her face. “Listen I’ll make you a deal. If something goes wrong and the police can't nail him, then and only then will we call your dad.”

  
She thought about it for a second. “Fine.”

  
“Great, now I’m going to find Robert’s doctor and find out where he is and how he’s doing. And I’m going to get them to call the police now. Don’t worry I’m going to sort this.”

  
Syd nodded and watched him walk off down the hall and around a corner. Then Syd turned back to the poor young girl.

  
She sat down next to Liv. Unsure what she could say could say to her. Honestly, what could she say that would make anything about this situation any better.

  
_ “What the hell can I say? Hey so you just learned that a person you care about has be repeatedly abused under your nose but great weather we been having right? FUUUCK.” _ Syd thought to herself as the silence between them was deafening.  _ “Come on say something!” _

  
“So...Robert is your brother in law?” She asked Liv awkwardly. “Yeah, he’s married to my brother Aaron.”

  
Syd’s eyebrow shot up slight. _ ”Ohh it's AARON, not ERIN! Damn, I need to get my hearing checked.” _ Syd thought to herself as Liv continued to give her a brief history lesson of Robert and Aaron.

  
From how they met to Aaron’s recent release from jail. However, she didn’t tell her about Gordon as that was still a sore subject, especially with everything happening now. But she did tell her that Robert not only helped Arron through a hard time but found and helped her as well.

  
Syd could hear from the way Liv talked about Robert that she loved him very much.   
“But after everything they’ve been through I don’t know if they can survive this. I mean we don’t even know if Robert is still alive!” Liv exclaimed as she got herself worked up.   
“Oh, sweetie.” Syd said as she pulled Liv in for a hug. 

 

“First off we both know Robert Sugden can survive anything. The man is too bloody smug to die. And from what you’ve told me it sounds like Robert and Aaron have a strong relationship that can weather any storm.”

  
Syd’s words seemed to calm Liv, sadly the same couldn’t be said for herself. As she may have said them she didn’t really believe them. Robert was nearly a broken mess last time she saw him so god only knows what state he would be in now but Syd knew it wouldn’t be good. And as for his relationship she didn’t know either if they really would make it out the other side.

  
But Syd kept the worries to herself and painted on a hopeful smile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't go away just yet there is another chapter!


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's right another chapter for you amazing people. I was going to wait till I had another chapter finished but after today's episode, I thought F*ck it I'm posting! And my amazing friend BulletEmbrace helped with this chapter

Aaron jumped out of the car, barely waiting for it to come to a complete stop.   
“Aaron wait!” Adam screamed but it was just noise in the wind to Aaron. He needed to know where his sister was and if she was alright. He ran full force into the hospital straight to the reception.

  
“I need to know where my sister is.” Aaron said as he tried to catch his breath.   
  


“What is her name?” The nurse asked.   
  


“Olivia Flaherty.”

  
The nurse nodded and began to look through their computer. Aaron just stood there impatiently feeling like the nurse was taking too long.

  
As he waited Cain and Adam finally managed to catch up to him.   
  


“Any news?” Adam asked only for Aaron to shake his head while he bit his nail in frustration.

  
“Are you sure she was brought to this Hospital?” The nurse asked.

  
“Yes, she’s fifteen with long brown hair. She normally goes by Liv.” Aaron said.

  
“She came from Emmerdale.” Cain added.

  
“Well a girl matching that description did come from Emmerdale but she came with a patient, not as a patient. A patient called Robert Sugden.”

  
“Wait Sugden was brought in?” Cain asked but Aaron acted like he hadn’t even heard the confusing news.   
“What ward would she be at?”

  
“Ward 20 up the stairs and to the left.”   
  


And with that Aaron was off like a shot with Cain and Adam not far behind. However, before he could even reach his desired destination he bumped right into someone he really couldn’t be arsed dealing with at the moment.

  
“Aaron you got my voicemail.” Danny with some relief in his voice.

  
“Yeah I did but why are you here.” Aaron growled.

  
“Why wouldn’t I be here? Robert is my friend.”

  
“Oh right from would I hear from John, Robert can be a really great friend.” Aaron said he began to square up to Danny.   
  


“Listen I don’t know what you’re getting at but I wouldn’t be listening to John the man is a liar.”   
  
“You know John?” Cain asked.

  
“Yeah I knew him and I also knew about his and Robert arrangement but they don’t have that anymore.”

  
“Oh yeah, right I’ve seen the pictures!” Aaron snapped back. “What pictures?” Danny asked confused.

  
“Oh don’t act dumb, I bet you were in on it too. You and Robert have a nice little thing going on. Is that what I interrupted when I met you for the first time. You were trying to fuck my husband and pay for it!” Aaron was screaming at this point.

  
Then without warning, he grabbed Danny and shoved him hard against the wall.   
“Is that what you and Robert have been doing behind my back? Some good old friendly fucking!”

  
“Aye right, this ain't fucking happening, get the fuck off of him.” Syd shouted as she runs down the hall. She and Liv both heard the yelling but didn’t think they would find this.

  
Cain could see that this was going too far and tried to pull Aaron back. Before he could really do anything Aaron took a swing and punched Danny in the face. Which was quickly followed by Syd getting in between the two and slapping Aaron. In shock, Aaron moved as if to hit Syd back, but that didn’t worry her.

  
“Oh, fucking try I dare you.” Syd said through her teeth.

  
“Who the hell are you?” Aaron asked.

  
“I’m Syd who the fuck are you?”

  
“AARON!” Liv screamed as she couldn’t deal with any more drama. She just wanted her brother. Liv screaming seemed to knock some sense into everyone.

  
Especially, Aaron, he broke free from Cain’s grip and ran to his sister. He pulled her into a tight hug.

  
Meanwhile, Syd went to Danny to see if he was ok. “Jeez, are you alright?” She asked as she looked at his bloody lip.

  
“Yeah, I’ll be fine.” He mumbled as he felt his lip throb. After a few minutes, Aaron finally let go of Liv.

  
“Liv are you ok? Where did he hurt you?” He asked as he looked over his sister trying to see where she was hurt that had produced the amount of blood he saw at the mill.   
  


“Hurt me? No one hurt me, Aaron. I only cut my hand.” Liv replied confused.   
  
Before Aaron could elaborate on what he was talking about Syd cut him off. Not really caring about the appearance of Robert’s husband or the two strangers with him. Well after he hit Danny.

  
“Did you find out about Robert?” She said loudly so the others heard and looked at her confused.

  
“A bit, he’s stable but he lost a lot of blood.” Danny said.

  
“What are you two talking about?” Cain asked with an annoyed tone in his voice though that was normal for him.

  
Danny shifted awkwardly as if he didn’t know if he should say what happened in front of everyone or try to talk to Aaron in private. Thankfully Syd made the decision for him.   
“Robert tried to kill himself.”

  
Aaron let out a humorless laugh. “Yeah, right.” Clearly, he did not believe what she said.   
“Aaron, Robert really did try to kill himself. I found him in the mill.” Liv said then she unzipped the hoodie Danny leant her to reveal her shirt covered in blood. Aaron just stood frozen in silence, trying to process what he was seeing.   
  


Adam and Cain, however, realized quickly that things were not as they first thought but still just as serious.   
“Ahh, I think I need to call Vic.” Adam said looking over at Danny. “You can't get a signal in the hospital but you can outside.”

  
Adam just nodded and started to walk away. “I’ll come with you.” Cain said before adding. “I need to meet Chas at the door, she’s already on her way.” Which was true but Cain also knew Chas was going to be on the warpath and he needs to tell her the situation was different then what they first thought.

  
So the two began to walk away, however as soon as he felt he was far enough that the others couldn’t hear him Adam stopped Cain.

  
"Cain, you don't think Robert done this for, you know? Sympathy? I know you can't always tell but Robert doesn't seem like the kinda person to seriously try and end it, right? And we all know Roberts got form for pulling crazy shit to get out of trouble." 

  
Cain thought for a moment, he knew Sugden could play dirty at times but his gut was telling him that this time that wasn’t the case.

  
"Did you ever think Aaron was the type of person who'd attempt suicide? As much as I hate the guy, I know Robert wouldn't do that knowing Aaron's history."    
  
All Cain really did know was that his nephew was in for a lot of heartache. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo tell me what you think, be honest I can take it!! You can leave a comment down below or on Tumblr @ghost-online or added me on snapchat kelseymac92 I love talking to you guys especially after being so quiet for a month, come talk to me!


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello look you didn't have to wait a whole month for a new chapter! I would have posted this yesterday but I was too busy watching Ackley Bridge it fills the Waterloo-road hole in my heart. Anyway thank you all the comments and kudos love you guys! I hope you enjoy this chapter!!

Aaron was numb. Completely and totally numb. He could feel his pulse was racing like he was going to faint at any second. He was in shock, he couldn’t wrap his mind around the information he had been told. It was almost too much to handle. So much, too much. As he looked at Liv and Danny talking away to him he couldn’t hear a word they said. Just a ringing like a bomb had gone off, blown away all the noise apart from the ringing.   
  


“ _ This can't be real, this can't be true. _ ” This statement played over and over in Aaron’s mind. It didn’t make sense to him. The idea of Robert trying to kill himself just didn’t compute. This just wasn’t like Robert. When he was in pain he wouldn’t hurt himself, that was more of Aaron’s thing. No, when Robert hurt, he would hurt others. Paddy, Andy even Aaron. The list goes on and on, but never himself.   
  


Aaron just stood in a trance as his mind repeated the day's events as well as things Robert had done in the past while Danny and Liv continued talking to him, not that he could hear them anyway. He was too wrapped up in his our thoughts then the penny dropped. And he came to a conclusion that made perfect sense as it was right up Robert’s ally.   
  


“It’s all a trick.” Aaron blurted out, causing both Danny and Liv to stop in their tracks while Syd just stood in shock at what she heard. After a few short moments of silence, Danny spoke up, confused. “What?”   
“It’s all a trick, just another one of Robert’s mind games. Just a new way to fuck with all of us.”   
  


Liv’s mouth dropped open in shock. She couldn’t believe that her brother could even think that let alone say it. “Aaron you can't actually be serious!” She said.   
“I am serious, Liv!! You need to stop falling for his games! You need to stop trusting Robert as he has not trust and we are leaving.” Aaron replied then he tried to grab Liv’s arm but she pulled it back.   
  
“Aaron how can you ever have claimed to love him if you honestly think this is a game?! How stupid can you be.”    
“Don’t start Liv. You know nothing.”    
“I know a hell of a lot more than you do!!!”   
  


Just then Cain and Adam had returned with Chas as well as Vic, who only came to see if her brother was really the cause of Liv’s injury, only to learn that he was the injured party all along.   
  


“Wow what the bloody hell is happening now?” Cain asked, not expecting to return to a shouting match in the ward. Chas ran over to Aaron.   
“Aaron love is everything alright?” She asked.   
  


“Yeah, everything is fine mum I’m just sick of Robert pulling shit like this when things don’t go his way!!” Aaron replied. That comment really pissed off the normally calm Danny.   
  
“Mate you are way out of line!!” Danny growled.   
“Hey back the fuck off!” Adam shouted as though he didn’t think the same way as Aaron he still wasn’t going to let anyone have a go at his mate.   
“You really think Robert would do this for a sympathy vote?” Cain asked a bit taken aback that his nephew would think that.   
  
“Wouldn’t put it past him.” Chas remarked.   
“Pshh no bloody wonder Blondie tried to off himself with everything happening and this shit show of a family.” Syd mumbled as she rubbed that side of her head as a headache was growing cause of all this bullshit. Turns out she had mumbled loud enough for Chas to hear.   
  


“HOW BLOODY DARE YOU!! WHO EVEN ARE YOU?” She yelled as she wasn’t going to let this stranger disrespect her family.   
  


“Clearly, I’m one of the few people who actually care about Robert. And how dare I? How dare your fucking son! How dare he come here and think Robert would hurt himself for attention.” Syd shot back, venom dripping from every word.   
  


“From what I've heard Robert had done a lot worse for much less than attention.”   
  


Syd stepped closer to Chas. “You need to shut the fuck up on things you don’t know anything about.”   
  


“Oh yeah, what don’t we know?” Aaron asked angrily.   
“So much. Please just calm down and we can talk.” Liv pleaded, wanting her brother to really listen.   
  


“Like what? That he lies? Knew that. That he tricks people? Knew that, used and abused people to get his only way? Knew that. That he-.”   
“That he was raped. Did you know that?” Syd asked cutting Aaron off. The hallway fell silence.   
  


“SYDNEY!” Danny called out, he hadn’t wanted the truth to come out like that.   
“I’m sorry but I’m not just going to stand here and listen to the asshole who is meant to love Robert call him a liar.”   
  


“What? What the hell are you talking about?” Aaron asked.   
  


Danny rubbed his hand down his face then took a second to collect himself. “John raped Robert when they had a meeting a while ago. And when Robert said he was going to the police John blackmailed him by saying if Robert went to the police he would tell everyone about his past as a prostitute.”   
“Tell them the rest Danny, they need to know.” Syd said.   
  
“What do you mean the rest?” Liv asked in confusion, she didn’t know there was more. “John has been repeatedly raping Robert as part of the blackmail.”   
Both Liv and Vic burst into tears.   
  


“No.” Aaron said in shock.”This can't be true.”   
  


“I’m afraid it is.” A stranger’s voice echoed behind them. Everyone turned to see a man in scrubs that was clearly a doctor.   
  


“Well I don’t know about the repeated raping, but Mr. Sugden was raped by a named John. I was his attending doctor. I saw clear evidence of rape when he was first brought in so I was the one who called the police. I’m Dr.Henderson, by the way. I take it you’re the family of Robert Sugden?”   
  


“Yes.” Syd said as everyone just stayed quiet.   
  


“How is he? How is my brother?” Vic asked her voice already beginning to sound raw from her sobs.   
  


“Like I told Dr. O’Hanlon earlier, Robert lost a lot of blood but he is stable now. Currently, we are giving him blood transfusions and have him hooked up to an oxygen machine to make his breathing a bit easier. However, because of all the trauma his body has been through, he is still unconscious and we are unsure when he will wake up.”   
  


Vic let out another sob and held on to Adam as if at any second her legs would fail her.   
“But he will wake up right?” Liv asked her voice filled with the same worry everyone else was feeling.   
A small smile appeared on Dr. Henderson’s face.”Yes, he will, I’m certain of that. I just don’t know when.”   
Aaron released a breath of air he didn’t even realize he was holding.   
“However I do have some questions. Has Robert ever tried to commit suicide before?”   
  


Both Syd and Danny answered before anyone could even open their mouths.”Yes.” Syd and Danny said in unison.   
Silence fell before the group, Aaron felt like he had been punched in the gut and couldn’t breathe. Danny continued, unable to look anyone in the group in the eye due to the guilt he still felt for his part in the past suicide attempt. “He took a mixture of painkillers and whiskey. He was about 24/25 at the time.”   
Dr. Henderson just nodded and looked down at his notes. “And I see from his notes that Robert was taking a drug called Torpens.”   
Danny didn’t need to look at Syd to know what she was thinking he could almost hear her voice in his head.   
  
“ _ Still Dealer Danny D I see? _ ”   
“Yes, I prescribed them to him some time ago.” Danny replied.   
“Did he complain about that side effects?” Dr. Henderson asked Danny who shook his head, confused.   
  


“I only ask this because Robert appears very underweight for a man his age and height. Also, I’m a bit concerned about some marks on his body.”   
“He hasn’t been eating.” Liv spoke up, stopping the Doctor from continuing and causing everyone to look at her.   
  


“Yes, he has.” Aaron argued. “NO, he hasn’t! He’s only been eating when you were around and he’s been going out every night to go running.”   
“Why didn’t you say anything?” Vic asked, shocked that Liv would keep this from them.   
“I’m sorry, I don’t know why I didn’t say anything, I wish I did now. Maybe we wouldn’t be here now if I did.” Liv said working herself up and getting very upset. Aaron rushed over to his sister and engulfed her in another hug.   
“It’s not your fault, I should have seen this too.”   
  


“What marks, you said he has marks that concerned you.” Syd asked.   
“It appears that Robert has burns and what appears to be chemical burns on parts of his body. Like his inner thighs, and upper body.”   
  


“Bleach and hot showers. Shit.” Liv thought as she felt her chest tighten.   
“I understand that all of this is very upsetting. And I can try to answer any questions you may have, however, for now, I will let you soak all of this in.” Dr. Henderson said then he turned to leave the group and see if DS Wise had arrived yet.   
  


“Wait.” Aaron called out as he quickly caught up with him. “I need to know what else happened to Robert before...besides being raped.”   
Dr. Henderson looked as if he was going to refuse when Aaron began to beg. “Please, he’s my husband, I need to know.”   
  


Dr. Henderson thought for a second he knew that he really shouldn’t but he could see the desperation and pain in Aaron’s eyes so he told Aaron everything. How Robert had been drugged and tied up as well as even bitten by John. But what really got to Aaron was the fact that all of this happened months ago and Robert hadn’t said a thing.   
  


When the doctor left him Aaron slowly walked back to the group who had been talking amongst themselves.   
  
“Aaron, are you alright love?” Chas asked, knowing it was a stupid question, but Aaron appeared pale and had a look in his eyes she hadn’t seen since the death of Jackson.   
  


Yet Aaron didn’t say anything, he couldn’t. He felt like he could barely breathe, let alone talk. Quickly he walked over to Adam and reached into his jacket pocket much to the confusion of Adam who just stood and watched in bemusement.   
  


 

Then with the keys in his hand, Aaron just turned away, speed walking down the hallway without even saying a word. He didn’t stop even when the group began shouting his name or questioned his actions.   
  


“Where are you going?” “You can't just leave, Aaron!” “Aaron come back!” “AARON!”   
  


Aaron drove on the edge of the speed limit as he raced back to the small village, his mind thinking back to all the times Robert would flinch sometimes if someone touched him while lost in his own thoughts, how his hugs seemed a bit tighter recently and even his kisses seem deeper, like he was kissing Aaron for the last time. Only now did Aaron know that Robert really did believe that any day would be his last with Aaron if John revealed his past.   
  


“ _ How could I be so blind? My husband was in pain right in front of me and I didn’t see it. He needed me and I failed him.” _ Aaron thought to himself as he pulled up to his desired destination, the mill.   
  


Gradually, Aaron walked backed into the distraction he had left earlier only this time he saw everything differently. As he looked around he noticed that even in anger and rage Robert only broken things that were his or furniture he bought. He had left Aaron and Liv’s stuff untouched.   
  


However, there was one thing that was all of theirs broken on the floor. Their wedding picture. Now broken and covered in his husband’s blood. Slowly, Aaron picked the picture up, not caring about the glass falling off the frame. He looked at the stained image of them there smiling away, unaware of the future ahead of them. 

 

Only as stood there and looked at Robert’s smiling face, did he remember the look his husband gave him before he left the pub that night. Full of pain and totally broken. But what made it hurt more for Aaron was that it wasn’t John that had caused that look of absolute agony to grace Roberts' face. It was him.   
  


“Oh god, what have I done.”   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So now Aaron knows the truth but how will he deal with the guilt? As we all know Aaron doesn't deal with guilt well. Please tell me what you think in the comments below or come to talk to me on Tumblr @ghost-online or snapchat me @kelseymac92 I love talking to you guys!

**Author's Note:**

> So...should I continue or stop while I'm ahead? Please leave me a comment it's like fuel for me lol or if you want to talk about our boys or Emmerdale in general message me on tumblr @ghost-online


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